Always Knew It Would Come to This
I was dreading tonight. I knew that attempting to talk to my father would result in world war III, but it had to be done. If there was going to be any attempt at keeping a relationship together with him, talking would be the only way through it.
Unfortunately things went about how I expected, if not worse.
Originally, I was going to be confrontive and call him out on some of his bullshit. But that method has never worked with him in the past, so I tried being reasonable and keeping a relatively calm and civil tone. Too bad he wasn't willing to do the same.
Actually, he started off relatively civil himself, but as the conversation progressed he began to light into me about things that never even happened. He even had the nerve to make up some bullshit story about what my mother told him happened St. Patrick's Day weekend. At one point, he even threatened to drive up to Joliet to try and wake my mom (who's sick) out of her sleep to prove his point.
On top of all that, he has the nerve to continually try and degrade everything I have ever done. Apparently going to college full time while doing an internship and part time job, with 4 hours of commuting a day isn't working hard enough. He claims he's got some perfect life. If you call having a broken down house, a family that's more often than not scared of him, and a job that's going to lead him nowhere except broke perfect, then sure. Not quite how I see it though.
Ultimately, my mother had to step in as a mediator between the two of us again, mainly b/c he refused to stop until he spoke to her. Now I'm supposed to talk to him in a couple of days. Dunno what use that will be though. I think it's finally at that point where the relationship between him and I is beyond repair.
The next time I speak to him may be the last. I have to decide if this bullshit is worth all the frustration its giving me. Supposedly you only have one father, but he's not it for me. My stepdad is more of a father than he will ever be. Hell, I'm not even related to this guy by blood. All the bullying he tries to do, how he tries to manipulate the situation and turn everyone against each other, the lying...I'm fed up with all of it. It took me over an hour to stop shaking from anger after that phone conversation.
At this point, I don't think there is any turning back. The shit has hit the fan, and the wheels have been set in motion for something that probably should have been done a long time ago - putting him out of my life for good.
Unfortunately things went about how I expected, if not worse.
Originally, I was going to be confrontive and call him out on some of his bullshit. But that method has never worked with him in the past, so I tried being reasonable and keeping a relatively calm and civil tone. Too bad he wasn't willing to do the same.
Actually, he started off relatively civil himself, but as the conversation progressed he began to light into me about things that never even happened. He even had the nerve to make up some bullshit story about what my mother told him happened St. Patrick's Day weekend. At one point, he even threatened to drive up to Joliet to try and wake my mom (who's sick) out of her sleep to prove his point.
On top of all that, he has the nerve to continually try and degrade everything I have ever done. Apparently going to college full time while doing an internship and part time job, with 4 hours of commuting a day isn't working hard enough. He claims he's got some perfect life. If you call having a broken down house, a family that's more often than not scared of him, and a job that's going to lead him nowhere except broke perfect, then sure. Not quite how I see it though.
Ultimately, my mother had to step in as a mediator between the two of us again, mainly b/c he refused to stop until he spoke to her. Now I'm supposed to talk to him in a couple of days. Dunno what use that will be though. I think it's finally at that point where the relationship between him and I is beyond repair.
The next time I speak to him may be the last. I have to decide if this bullshit is worth all the frustration its giving me. Supposedly you only have one father, but he's not it for me. My stepdad is more of a father than he will ever be. Hell, I'm not even related to this guy by blood. All the bullying he tries to do, how he tries to manipulate the situation and turn everyone against each other, the lying...I'm fed up with all of it. It took me over an hour to stop shaking from anger after that phone conversation.
At this point, I don't think there is any turning back. The shit has hit the fan, and the wheels have been set in motion for something that probably should have been done a long time ago - putting him out of my life for good.