(no subject)
It doesn’t even feel like I’m going out with Beau
Like not because we don’t act like it or something, but more because I’m so use to having like guys in my life all the time, that now that there is just one, it’s like… not even a big deal. I’m not even really excited. Normally if I was going out with a guy, I would be so anxious to tell people, but time its more like, yeah I guess we are going out and stuff. It’s nothing. I’m not saying Beau is nothing to me, but just HIM BEING THAT ONE GUY, it’s just like I dunno, nothing special to me.
I’ll miss Robbie so much, like when I think about seeing him now, I know I’ll just want to be able to hug him and not even feel guilty. I want what I had before with him. Now everything will have to be different. Thinking about seeing Robbie and not being able to be like we were before makes me want to cry. I loved how we were. Like we were there for each other, there were no strings attached and we had our own life’s but at the end of the day we still knew we had each other.
I guess three months being like that everyday, just becomes part of your life and when its not there you know something is missing, even when you knew all along you wouldn’t be able to have it forever.
I’m not going to give up on me and Beau already and just assume I wont be able to do this. I almost want to just hold on to see how long I can actually commit to just one person. I’m just not use to this at all anymore. But I do care a lot about Beau and if anything I just don’t want to hurt him by doing what I’m use to doing and in the end I still want a friendship out of what we have, so I’m not about to screw things up.
Like not because we don’t act like it or something, but more because I’m so use to having like guys in my life all the time, that now that there is just one, it’s like… not even a big deal. I’m not even really excited. Normally if I was going out with a guy, I would be so anxious to tell people, but time its more like, yeah I guess we are going out and stuff. It’s nothing. I’m not saying Beau is nothing to me, but just HIM BEING THAT ONE GUY, it’s just like I dunno, nothing special to me.
I’ll miss Robbie so much, like when I think about seeing him now, I know I’ll just want to be able to hug him and not even feel guilty. I want what I had before with him. Now everything will have to be different. Thinking about seeing Robbie and not being able to be like we were before makes me want to cry. I loved how we were. Like we were there for each other, there were no strings attached and we had our own life’s but at the end of the day we still knew we had each other.
I guess three months being like that everyday, just becomes part of your life and when its not there you know something is missing, even when you knew all along you wouldn’t be able to have it forever.
I’m not going to give up on me and Beau already and just assume I wont be able to do this. I almost want to just hold on to see how long I can actually commit to just one person. I’m just not use to this at all anymore. But I do care a lot about Beau and if anything I just don’t want to hurt him by doing what I’m use to doing and in the end I still want a friendship out of what we have, so I’m not about to screw things up.