It's always easy to fall in love, the hard part is letting go...
It’s hard, because I’m still in love with the person he use to be, but that person died somewhere along the way, and now I’m left heartless, looking into empty eyes of the person I use to know so well. The worst part is somewhere in that heartless empty body, my heart still remains. I wish I could reach the old him somehow, and make the sun shine again and the stars come out at night. You have no idea how hard it is, to look into eyes of that person, knowing that those same eyes use to look back at you with a sparkle in them that would light up your whole day and make you feel like nothing else in the world mattered. Or seeing the lips that use to kiss you so softly and knowing now you can only imagine what it would feel like again to have them against your lips just one last time. It breaks my heart more and more everyday, as I realize it’s hopeless to ever think the one I fell in love with so truly and deeply, might just not come back. And to be completely honest, I’m so scared that I might just never get my heart back, that maybe it will be trapped inside this stranger forever, in the hands of someone deep inside him he once use to be, that I gave my heart to so long ago. I hope, that just maybe, the person I gave my heart to, still remembers all our good memories, just as well as I do. Then again, it would probably kill me if I actually knew the truth and were to find out he doesn’t. All I do is live off sweet memories. I can’t even imagine who I might be today if I didn’t have them playing over and over again in my mind like a movie someone can’t get enough of. It’s weird looking at this empty body now, everything looks different, but at the same time exactly the same. When I look at him, I just want to wrap my arms around him and hold him forever, but it’s like holding onto a dead body… but literally. You know that person wont hold you, that there kiss will be emotionless and cold, that their eyes don’t even look at you. Their gone. At the same time, you can still imagine what it felt like when they were alive, when they were there. Sometimes I tell myself I should stop looking for another entrance to this new person’s heart and find and exit, but I just keep holding onto hope, that I might just get through to him and get everything I use to have back. No matter how much I hate him for what he’s done to me, I’ll never stop loving him, never.