.... and breathe
I'm sorry about my earlier entry.
It is true my sister and I are very different people who hold different values in life - but she is a good person. I just don't understand her that is all. She tries to interact with me and talk about things we have in common and she has been good to me while I've been laid up. So, I think it's just a little of my own frustrations being displaced her way.
I'm a little lonely to tell you the truth. I would like to get back up to Manchester and see people, but I am afraid I will get there and it will be just as isolated there too. I'm a big dreamer. I always imagine things are better elsewhere.
I have four friends here who I consider close enough to call up and ask to meet. Two wouldn't answer, one was out of town and another already had plans. And all day I had been getting excited about the possibility of getting a little dressed up and socialising in town. I spent it watching a movie with a take-away.
I watched a film the other night and the atmosphere of it all has kinda stuck on me. Shopgirl? It didn't look anything special - just something to pass the time. But afterwards I actually thought it was pretty wonderful. I watched it at 3am in the morning - never a good time because the world seems strange and different enough at that hour. But anyhow. I watched it and I just felt like the relationship she had with the business man felt as cold and distant
as every relationship I ever had.
And it has affected me.
Silly I know. Only a movie.
It had this rather eerie orchestral string music persistently throughout and when I go to sleep it creeps in on my dreams and when I wake up, I feel like I've lived that life and had that draining, pointless relationship.
I'm far too sensitive.
And it's starting to get a little weary.
It is true my sister and I are very different people who hold different values in life - but she is a good person. I just don't understand her that is all. She tries to interact with me and talk about things we have in common and she has been good to me while I've been laid up. So, I think it's just a little of my own frustrations being displaced her way.
I'm a little lonely to tell you the truth. I would like to get back up to Manchester and see people, but I am afraid I will get there and it will be just as isolated there too. I'm a big dreamer. I always imagine things are better elsewhere.
I have four friends here who I consider close enough to call up and ask to meet. Two wouldn't answer, one was out of town and another already had plans. And all day I had been getting excited about the possibility of getting a little dressed up and socialising in town. I spent it watching a movie with a take-away.
I watched a film the other night and the atmosphere of it all has kinda stuck on me. Shopgirl? It didn't look anything special - just something to pass the time. But afterwards I actually thought it was pretty wonderful. I watched it at 3am in the morning - never a good time because the world seems strange and different enough at that hour. But anyhow. I watched it and I just felt like the relationship she had with the business man felt as cold and distant
as every relationship I ever had.
And it has affected me.
Silly I know. Only a movie.
It had this rather eerie orchestral string music persistently throughout and when I go to sleep it creeps in on my dreams and when I wake up, I feel like I've lived that life and had that draining, pointless relationship.
I'm far too sensitive.
And it's starting to get a little weary.