For fuck's sake.
(Posted from a conversation with BigT2 because I don't want to re-type this.)
!@#$@$%^@#$%
they didn't take the offer?
heh
12:00 AM
Me:
They countered, we countered. Then it got strange.
I feel like I'm in a Monty Python sketch, really.
BigT2:
strange, how?
dead parrot strange?
Me:
There was a huge hailstorm in town.
Cheese shop strange.
Last year. Hail last year.
Most houses come with either a new roof or a hail cheque.
Both if damage was to more than the roof.
This one comes with a new roof. But nobody has seen the rest of the assessment.
Not even his realtor.
One of the things he insists on is keeping the cheque. WTF.
But I can handle that.
(The contract now has language stating that I can reject it based on the amount of the damage before an inspection is even done.)
So anyway, the price is 167,000. Not bad at all, really.
BUT.
It's a rental property. Therefore, the tenants need to be given 3 months notice to move, so possession would be Oct. 31.
His tenants, though, only have to give one month notice, so he potentially could have possession of an empty house for 2 months. Not a good thing.
First, he wants a contract with a variable possession date. This, basically, does not exist. I'd never get financing.
Next, he wanted me to take possession of the house WITH the tenants. That's a big fucking no; I want the house to live in and do NOT want to deal with them. It's quite a bad deal for me.
So, here's our (Pretty goddamn generous) counteroffer.
a) $167,000.
b) No hail cheque.
c) If a tenant leaves before the possession date AND we are notified the day before the beginning of the tenant's last month living there, we will RENT the vacated suite from him for $500/month.
Not bad, eh?
So. Here's where it gets pretty fucking ridiculous.
HE FUCKING COUNTERS.
What does he want? We'd have to pay 100% of the fucking utilities on the house, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT THERE IS ANOTHER TENANT STILL FUCKING LIVING THERE.
Now this is the great part.
His real estate agent.
She offers to do another contract on the side.
(REMOVED)
...
The house is wonderful. It's quite nice inside and out. The hail damage wasn't even visible.
So, tomorrow morning we're looking at the contract. It now has 2 conditions where, if I'm not totally happy, I can reject it rather than the usual 1. The hail assessment, and the home inspections.
Well, 167 is $13k below the original asking price.
But any more stupidity and my next counteroffer starts like this:
G. Johnson, hereafter known as BUYER
A. Person, hereafter known as JACKASS
etc.
and the offer will be the original $162.
!@#$@$%^@#$%
they didn't take the offer?
heh
12:00 AM
Me:
They countered, we countered. Then it got strange.
I feel like I'm in a Monty Python sketch, really.
BigT2:
strange, how?
dead parrot strange?
Me:
There was a huge hailstorm in town.
Cheese shop strange.
Last year. Hail last year.
Most houses come with either a new roof or a hail cheque.
Both if damage was to more than the roof.
This one comes with a new roof. But nobody has seen the rest of the assessment.
Not even his realtor.
One of the things he insists on is keeping the cheque. WTF.
But I can handle that.
(The contract now has language stating that I can reject it based on the amount of the damage before an inspection is even done.)
So anyway, the price is 167,000. Not bad at all, really.
BUT.
It's a rental property. Therefore, the tenants need to be given 3 months notice to move, so possession would be Oct. 31.
His tenants, though, only have to give one month notice, so he potentially could have possession of an empty house for 2 months. Not a good thing.
First, he wants a contract with a variable possession date. This, basically, does not exist. I'd never get financing.
Next, he wanted me to take possession of the house WITH the tenants. That's a big fucking no; I want the house to live in and do NOT want to deal with them. It's quite a bad deal for me.
So, here's our (Pretty goddamn generous) counteroffer.
a) $167,000.
b) No hail cheque.
c) If a tenant leaves before the possession date AND we are notified the day before the beginning of the tenant's last month living there, we will RENT the vacated suite from him for $500/month.
Not bad, eh?
So. Here's where it gets pretty fucking ridiculous.
HE FUCKING COUNTERS.
What does he want? We'd have to pay 100% of the fucking utilities on the house, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT THERE IS ANOTHER TENANT STILL FUCKING LIVING THERE.
Now this is the great part.
His real estate agent.
She offers to do another contract on the side.
(REMOVED)
...
The house is wonderful. It's quite nice inside and out. The hail damage wasn't even visible.
So, tomorrow morning we're looking at the contract. It now has 2 conditions where, if I'm not totally happy, I can reject it rather than the usual 1. The hail assessment, and the home inspections.
Well, 167 is $13k below the original asking price.
But any more stupidity and my next counteroffer starts like this:
G. Johnson, hereafter known as BUYER
A. Person, hereafter known as JACKASS
etc.
and the offer will be the original $162.