Fic: So This Is..
Just a little something for katernater
Title: So This Is..
Fandom: the X-Files
Pairing: Mulder/Scully
Words: 544
It wasn't the first time she had watched Caddyshack. Her DVD and movie collection wasn't as colorful and diverse as Mulder's but Scully did have an eye for the classics, for movies that brought back a pleasant kind of memory. But the entire movie seemed different in the interior of Mulder's apartment, as if she was seeing it with fresh eyes, or for the first time.
The groove of his couch had long since crossed the point of being well defined, now hollowed and irrevocable by the slope of his long, strong body sleeping there every night since she had known him, and many more before. If she sat back far enough, Scully could sink into it and need to forcefully pull herself up and out if she wanted to stand up again. Before, she had tried to wrestle herself upright, but over the past few months it had become a place of comfort and familiarity that she didn't want to leave.
So this is what it's like to feel content.
The beer bottle wasn't cold anymore and the condensation had left a chilled mist on her palm. She wanted to smooth it against her leg to push the coldness off onto the fabric, but that would be too obvious, too deliberate an indication as to what she wanted to do next. And more than anything, Scully wanted this to be subtle, undetectable at first It would be the scientist, the medical professional, who planned out spontaneity, but she wasn't going to think on that too closely now.
Someone told me once that if you want to hold his hand, bump into it with yours a few times. But I'm not very good at bumping. And those kinds of movements and gestures were for women who were trying to find out where they stood, to see what places could be transcended by a friendship or an accidental meeting, or a first, slightly awkward, date. Years in the federal building removed those fears from her mind, left them in the dusty cavern of past relationships that had never gone down this particular road. There had been others in the past, but no one like this. Nothing that made Scully question, for brief seconds, whether she was doing something the right way. She rarely had moments of doubt, and now her heart was beating in her throat and wrists as if she were a teenager again.
Why are you nervous? It's Mulder. Just...do it. Just take his hand.
Her fingers moved to touch the backs of his knuckles, a slow and almost accidental brushing of contact, but instead of drawing away, she let her hand linger there. Another heartbeat's time gave her the means to take in a breath and then her fingers nosed their way into the palm of his hand. She felt his hand twitch, as if by surprise, then relax and she took the opportunity to let their fingers entwine.
It was the first time she'd held hands with someone in years, with the exception of Daniel who was a chasing ghost from her past. And for a wild, single moment, Scully became acutely aware that she wanted to do it again.
So this is what it's like to fall in love.