this bed could use a secret...
i have come to the conclusion that....i am a jerk. so i apologise in advance to everyone.
now that that's out of the way, i guess something's been bothering me. i went out with my mom today. we went to lunch and the grocery store. and it's really the first time i've spent more than an hour with her. she had a lot to say. it was sort of weird. but she sat there and told me about how pretty i am, and i guess i'm not used to it. and then she worked with my aunt tonight at another concert at the b&b and my family ends up there a lot. growing up, i was really close with my family. minus my mom. ha, go figure. anyway, i used to stay at my grandparent's and my uncle babysat us. he's, about 4-5 years older than me. anyway...he used to have this reaaally cute friend. and tonight he was at the concert with my uncle and apparently asked about me. my mom said she'd like us to meet again. it sort of creeps me out, because when he thinks about me he thinks about the 10 yr old me. but he wants to meet me again. my mom says he's "to die for" and she's got pretty good judgement. and like i said, i thought he was cute when i was younger. and the weird part is..he'd be 22 or 23 and my mom's all for it. so i'm kind of curious. so my uncle's really against us meeting. he says, i'm a beautiful girl and too smart to have to deal with justin. he supposedly yelled at my mom for even thinking about us meeting again. i dunno why he's so protective. to be honest, over the last few years, i didn't think he cared to have anything to do with my life. my mom said that after he freaked out, justin went over to her and said we're definitely meeting again. i think i'm scared.
...i think i'm scared because things have changed so quickly over the last month. it's getting crazy and i can't even keep my thoughts straight anymore. i don't think i ever gave myself enough credit. i was never confident enough. or bold enough. and i don't know what to think of myself. i know i'm not great. i'm not anything good. i'm just me. that's all i can be. and if people like me, then sweet. if not, i can deal.
along with my life... i'm hanging out with david this weekend. that shall serve to be story-worthy, i'm sure. i work tomorrow. i'm lame. and probably ysu this weekend, too.
i suck at life sometimes.
now that that's out of the way, i guess something's been bothering me. i went out with my mom today. we went to lunch and the grocery store. and it's really the first time i've spent more than an hour with her. she had a lot to say. it was sort of weird. but she sat there and told me about how pretty i am, and i guess i'm not used to it. and then she worked with my aunt tonight at another concert at the b&b and my family ends up there a lot. growing up, i was really close with my family. minus my mom. ha, go figure. anyway, i used to stay at my grandparent's and my uncle babysat us. he's, about 4-5 years older than me. anyway...he used to have this reaaally cute friend. and tonight he was at the concert with my uncle and apparently asked about me. my mom said she'd like us to meet again. it sort of creeps me out, because when he thinks about me he thinks about the 10 yr old me. but he wants to meet me again. my mom says he's "to die for" and she's got pretty good judgement. and like i said, i thought he was cute when i was younger. and the weird part is..he'd be 22 or 23 and my mom's all for it. so i'm kind of curious. so my uncle's really against us meeting. he says, i'm a beautiful girl and too smart to have to deal with justin. he supposedly yelled at my mom for even thinking about us meeting again. i dunno why he's so protective. to be honest, over the last few years, i didn't think he cared to have anything to do with my life. my mom said that after he freaked out, justin went over to her and said we're definitely meeting again. i think i'm scared.
...i think i'm scared because things have changed so quickly over the last month. it's getting crazy and i can't even keep my thoughts straight anymore. i don't think i ever gave myself enough credit. i was never confident enough. or bold enough. and i don't know what to think of myself. i know i'm not great. i'm not anything good. i'm just me. that's all i can be. and if people like me, then sweet. if not, i can deal.
along with my life... i'm hanging out with david this weekend. that shall serve to be story-worthy, i'm sure. i work tomorrow. i'm lame. and probably ysu this weekend, too.
i suck at life sometimes.