update?
I feel like typing out this long wall of text on my status. On the topic about my perceived happiness due to benchmarks met throughout the year. I pulled in the biggest paycheck I have ever made last week (if this job were to go another 8 months, I would clear 6 figures.) I got rid of my truck and got a new car (yay the benz!). I had a long term relationship, even though it ended. I proved to myself that I could do it. I checked so many things off the bucket list, that it really was a banner year. I left the gate wide open for this next year too. I have a passport, I am leaving the country, and I wont be back for 300 days (and in doing so I wont have to pay taxes on the first 80k lol). All that being said, its been really strange. I let go of trying to predict where I will be, and am trying to concentrate on where I am...
On the self-destructive side of things I have been very diligent. I managed to get a tattoo (gasp). I got involved in several very bad situations (read: girls) and it has only gotten worse. I finally finished the design for the rest of a back tattoo and I am trying to get it before I leave... we shall see what happens though. There are a few things I really need to straighten out and yet, I just have been sort of ignoring the problems. They eventually have grown out of my hands and now they sit off to the side, and I know if I dont do anything, the chance will be lost to me forever. I can't decide if its for the best and I should just let it go or not... sigh.
I didnt want to just go on and on about my experiences in Texas or how I felt about the above or even specifics on those things. I felt a wierd haze the last 3 months. Everything is a blur. I feel like I wake up, take a look around, then roll over and sink back into the drifting background again. I am not sure why that is though. I think it is simply because I have kept myself so busy that I have not really had time to stop and look around much. I am 27, I have two white hairs, and my whole life is still ahead of me.
On the self-destructive side of things I have been very diligent. I managed to get a tattoo (gasp). I got involved in several very bad situations (read: girls) and it has only gotten worse. I finally finished the design for the rest of a back tattoo and I am trying to get it before I leave... we shall see what happens though. There are a few things I really need to straighten out and yet, I just have been sort of ignoring the problems. They eventually have grown out of my hands and now they sit off to the side, and I know if I dont do anything, the chance will be lost to me forever. I can't decide if its for the best and I should just let it go or not... sigh.
I didnt want to just go on and on about my experiences in Texas or how I felt about the above or even specifics on those things. I felt a wierd haze the last 3 months. Everything is a blur. I feel like I wake up, take a look around, then roll over and sink back into the drifting background again. I am not sure why that is though. I think it is simply because I have kept myself so busy that I have not really had time to stop and look around much. I am 27, I have two white hairs, and my whole life is still ahead of me.