oooo boy
i'm feeling allll jumbled up right nowwww.
soo randomly jason called me last night, and since i had wanted to talk to him anyway, i called him back and we agreed to go out to lunch today. soo we did and it was altogether quite anticlimactic. no fighting, no yelling or anger or tears. we just talked like normal human beings. which surprised me. it also surprised me that he even called me at all. but we've both changed and grown, for the better, and it was all ok. we talked about evvvverything. and it's all ok. i still can't quite wrap my mind around how ok it all is.
the only problem is that the conversation went so well that it made me remember the good old times when we were all in love and it made me remember what it was like to have a boyfriend and now i feel even more lonely than before. and at the same time i realized that i missed him a lot, in a very platonic way. cuz we were friends for almost five years, you know. and dated for two of them. and in this position i feel super vulnerable about getting back together with him. which i don't want at all, but can you see how 1+1=2? so i feel all jumbled up. and i'm happy we're friends again, but i just need to keep it low-key and things will be ok.
i go back to school in two weeks and then all will be right in the world.
soo randomly jason called me last night, and since i had wanted to talk to him anyway, i called him back and we agreed to go out to lunch today. soo we did and it was altogether quite anticlimactic. no fighting, no yelling or anger or tears. we just talked like normal human beings. which surprised me. it also surprised me that he even called me at all. but we've both changed and grown, for the better, and it was all ok. we talked about evvvverything. and it's all ok. i still can't quite wrap my mind around how ok it all is.
the only problem is that the conversation went so well that it made me remember the good old times when we were all in love and it made me remember what it was like to have a boyfriend and now i feel even more lonely than before. and at the same time i realized that i missed him a lot, in a very platonic way. cuz we were friends for almost five years, you know. and dated for two of them. and in this position i feel super vulnerable about getting back together with him. which i don't want at all, but can you see how 1+1=2? so i feel all jumbled up. and i'm happy we're friends again, but i just need to keep it low-key and things will be ok.
i go back to school in two weeks and then all will be right in the world.