(no subject)
My dog, "Velvet" Elvis Nolan, was laid to rest after a long and adventurous life. He has seen more of the world than most people I know, survived my cooking, and chased far more small fuzzy creatures than one can recall. Unfortunately, since around thanksgiving he had developed a tumour on his spleen that was blocking the absorbtion of fat. He had been very lively and comfortable, yet ornery, and we thought there was still a good year or so in him left to go. But with in the past week or so, my parents began to notice he was in a great deal more of pain, having trouble walking and had suddenly lost interest in so much. The tumour had spread and he was no longer able to keep down anything, despite having all the food and attention and love he could want, my dog was starving to death. So Tuesday my parents took him to the vet and had him put down. My dad tried to comfort me and told me that he was in good spirits, wasn't scared at all and was even wagging his tail as they put him to sleep. That did not help at all. I'm glad he's not suffering anymore, but the idea that he had no idea what was going on really upsets me. I actually hope there isn't sort of any after life because what if he doesn't understand. Or what if he did. I kind of hope he had some understanding, I hope he some how knew what we were doing was for the best. I love him and miss him so much already. I'm feeling better but it still hurts so much to know that next time I go home he won't be there to greet me and watch me patiently while I cook in case he needs to clean up any spilt food or whine to come sleep in my room only to grumble and leave when he realizes he's too big and too old to jump on my bed. I already want to get a new dog because I miss that companionship, but I know it won't be my Elvis.
I just wish I would have had an opportunity to see him one last time. To tell him goodbye, not just see ya later. I wish I could have just hugged him a little longer than last time I had to leave him behind.
On a lighter note, today I turned 21. It was a fun, I had a very simple day. Went to class, went out for sushi for lunch and had my first legal drink, Saki. then went to help pack the truck full of gear for the graduation ceremony tomorrow. after that was done went home, got cleaned up, and went to my new favouritest place in the world, Old Germany grill and bar. Oh my god I'd died and gone to Stuttgart! The food was exactly how german food is supposed to taste (well the spaezel was a little thin but still fucking yummy) and the beer, oh dear god the beer. I don't drink to get drunk. I drink to enjoy, to taste, to relax. I had a Bitburger Pilsner and it was delightful. The place had an amazing selection of beer from all over Europe. . . even Czechoslovakia! Oh you can trust me I'm going back at least once a week (not really) and trying everything, starting with the guiness next time.
saturday my parents are coming out and taking me to universal studios for the weekend. I'm stoked. It's going to be so much fun. It's going to be just what I've needed. I've been so depressed lately and I've beening snapping at anyone that rubs me just the wrong way. I really just need a few days in a row where I just sit on a couch and watch tv and not worry about having to know anything. I need a road trip, a vacation I neeed to just not be busy, just for a week.
today did suck on the note that I had to break the heart of a boy who does not deserve to have his heart broken. I just can't do this whole caring for other people thing. not right now. I'm so thankful though that he understands and that we're still friends and he's not being at all weird. It really is like we just hit Ctrl-Z and we're back to being kick ass friends again. I should have known better in the first place, but it felt so nice to be appreciated for once.
fuck I have a mid term tomorrow. I should be studying.
I just wish I would have had an opportunity to see him one last time. To tell him goodbye, not just see ya later. I wish I could have just hugged him a little longer than last time I had to leave him behind.
On a lighter note, today I turned 21. It was a fun, I had a very simple day. Went to class, went out for sushi for lunch and had my first legal drink, Saki. then went to help pack the truck full of gear for the graduation ceremony tomorrow. after that was done went home, got cleaned up, and went to my new favouritest place in the world, Old Germany grill and bar. Oh my god I'd died and gone to Stuttgart! The food was exactly how german food is supposed to taste (well the spaezel was a little thin but still fucking yummy) and the beer, oh dear god the beer. I don't drink to get drunk. I drink to enjoy, to taste, to relax. I had a Bitburger Pilsner and it was delightful. The place had an amazing selection of beer from all over Europe. . . even Czechoslovakia! Oh you can trust me I'm going back at least once a week (not really) and trying everything, starting with the guiness next time.
saturday my parents are coming out and taking me to universal studios for the weekend. I'm stoked. It's going to be so much fun. It's going to be just what I've needed. I've been so depressed lately and I've beening snapping at anyone that rubs me just the wrong way. I really just need a few days in a row where I just sit on a couch and watch tv and not worry about having to know anything. I need a road trip, a vacation I neeed to just not be busy, just for a week.
today did suck on the note that I had to break the heart of a boy who does not deserve to have his heart broken. I just can't do this whole caring for other people thing. not right now. I'm so thankful though that he understands and that we're still friends and he's not being at all weird. It really is like we just hit Ctrl-Z and we're back to being kick ass friends again. I should have known better in the first place, but it felt so nice to be appreciated for once.
fuck I have a mid term tomorrow. I should be studying.