letting go of all I've held onto
It's been an interesting week. I took a small book of devotionals to work, something I do occasionally. This weekend, though, it made all the difference. I've been struggling and had have had the feeling of slipping under for the past few weeks and then it's over. I've somehow stumbled into a new, peaceful place. I suppose it makes sense. I needed to fill the hole in me with something and when I finally filled it with God as opposed to every possible alternative peace replaced quiet desperation. It isn't that everything is perfect. I still procrastinate on school work and spend too much time on facebook. I just feel like I've gotten a real glimpse of the person I can be, the person I was meant to be in Christ. I'm kinder, more patient, forgive far more easily and lack much of the anxiety that haunts me.
I'm still scared of one thing though: whether I can maintain this. I've never been good at maintence. I'm going to try though. It's time to grow up, grow and leave some of this behind. I've tried my way for years and I don't have a lot to show for it. If giving (nearly) all the way over to God is what it to takes to be free, then it long past time to give way.
I'm still scared of one thing though: whether I can maintain this. I've never been good at maintence. I'm going to try though. It's time to grow up, grow and leave some of this behind. I've tried my way for years and I don't have a lot to show for it. If giving (nearly) all the way over to God is what it to takes to be free, then it long past time to give way.