whine (plz 2 ignore)

[anorexicbrownie]

I have a nice, sweet and very passionate lesbian in my class. She is into student activism. This is fine and I admire her passion. What drives me crazy is that she cannot have a single conversation without the topic. We can be talking about sex slaves and trafficking and she will find a way to bring in and express concern for the much afflicted gay

Comments

[alicel]

look at it this way - both pit bulls and lgbt issues are things that a wide variety of people are absolutely ignorant about, and you and this girl have a lot in common in that you strive to educate others about what matters to you. you both go overkill, but nobody can say they walked away from you less informed than before. sure, it gets annoying for some and preaching has its drawbacks, but like i said, there is something positive stemming from both of you doing what you're doing.

[anorexicbrownie]

So basically I'm awesome? >.> *keff* I hear you though. That she means well and believes in it is why I haven't said to her that she's going overboard. I know what its like to feel crushed and/or stupid.

[musicchan]

I would argue though that if she's preaching to the same people over and over agian, it's not the best way to go about it. Once you've talked to someone about an issue a couple of times, they are unlikely to get anything new from it. So continuing on in that vein is likely to alientate yourself and others.

[alicel]

the thing is, though, what does it accomplish by knocking someone down a peg by saying you don't want to hear it? i'm one of the people lynn has talked about pit bulls to on multiple occasions. am i particularly interested/capable of taking on a pit bull? no. but i know that it's something she needs to talk about with someone she's comfortable with because it's what she cares about. for instance, she knows about disorders and she is one of the largest reasons i got medicated for mine - does she get anything new from hearing how i'm doing or if it's helping? no. talking to our friends during our day to day lives, we RARELY get any new information, but it's the interacting with them part that counts. that's where i find fault with the 'this isn't new' argument. i would also say that anyone who doesn't try to process why you do need to sometimes talk about something to someone you're comfortable with wasn't a very good friend to begin with - we're supposed to accept our friends as they are, flaws included etc. so, why would this girl,

[anorexicbrownie]

>.> Um. I think everyone has good points? musichan is making a valid one that I'm taking into consideration for future ramblings.

I also agree that putting that into action could turn into correction or just general unpleasantness where there probably doesn't need to be. At least to start out with, it would a lot more delicate and empathetic to say 'Wow, that's awesome/sad/something appropriate. So how about 'life topic here', how is that going with you?' If that fails, then I'll worry about it.

W- I'm suspecting part of it is her perhaps feeling free for the first time? Or something along those lines.

[alicel]

just to reiterate, remember to put yourself in her place if you do try to tell her she talks about it too much. i know that if i was comfortable enough around someone to feel like i could say how i felt without being attacked or judged or feeling like a burden and heard otherwise, i probably wouldn't feel very safe opening up again. not saying that there's no way to subject change, just imagine how you'd want someone to re-direct your own conversation.

[anorexicbrownie]

That's why I thought of the above method. I get embarassed pretty easy, so I was thinking of the fairly fool proof one for subject change. :)