(no subject)
i have been having some of the most relaxing days of my entire life recently. i've been spending a lot of time alone. reading, drinking tea, cooking. i've been feeling that my posts have become very repetitive.
this afternoon i came home from work and listened to this crazy old french album i bought a couple of weeks ago. it's a recording of a night at a cafe in montmartre. everyone in the bar/cafe sings along and claps and you can hear laughter and glasses clinking, hidden conversations. it makes me feel like i'm in france. i love it. while listening to that i made curry for dinner and spoke to lovely shaun on the telephone.
i then headed out for a bike ride to my favorite rock on the coquitlam river. smoked some cigarettes and wrote some poetry. i have been going to this rock since i was in middle school. it's always changing. someone spray painted the word "epic" on it, i found that hysterical and highly appropriate at the same time. some pretty "epic" moments have happened for me on that rock. i got back on my bicycle and rode to matteos gelato in "downtown" poco. had a soy vanilla affagatto and relaxed on the patio wriitng some more and just generally relaxing and taking in the cool breeze.
rode to the grocery store and picked up some things and came home to make some mango fruit bread. i just had a slice and it's delicious!
shaun and i had a conversation about how much i love food. i don't think i really started to love food until i became vegetarian. being vegan now and having to cook all the time and having myself actually enjoy cooking has made my love for food even greater. also my peppers have started to grow! there are tiny little chilli peppers on my little chilli pepper plant! and mint and my basil is doing alright! ah, herbs. how i love warm summer weather and fresh herbs!
i have been reading this book called seraphita. it's a classic by balzac about an angel who represents all that is love. but, she is not mortal and should not be approached my humans. but two people on earth are in love with her, well the woman is in love with seraphitas male counterpart, seraphitus. i have a quote from this book that i just read and love. it's minna speaking about her feelings for seraphitus although nothing will ever happen between them because he is a celestal being.
"his secrets are not mine. when i am with him, i know nothing; with him, i cease to be myself; away from him, i forget that more perfect life. seeing him is as a dream, of which my rememberance depends on his will. i may have heard, when with him, the music of which bancker's wife and erickson's speak, and forget it when we are apart; i may have perceived those celestial perfumes and have beheld marvels, and yet know nothing of them here."
i read this and it spoke so very strongly to me. it's exudes exactly how it feels when you're in love with anyone. at least to me. how you remain completely helpless and at the others will. but maybe this is not love actually. maybe this is only infatuation which you cannot get over as quickly. infatuation seems to be something that will last a lifetime. infatuation needs no actual connection just beauty and wonder.
i have these other passages from the book strange heaven by lynn coady that i enjoyed as well. i didn't find the book that great. the read was simple and the narrative jumped around too much but these two passages touched me.
"the mean phone calls wouldn't come until at least a couple of weeks after the nice ones, so you couldn't say he was not trying. and it had been so hard, bridget hadn't known what to do or say because she didn't hate him, she didn't want to make him angry or hate her, but she didn't want anything to do with him, either. there was no way of conveying this. if she were to come out and say, "mark, i don't care how you're feeling or what you're doing," he would become infuriated. so for awhile she simply listened to everything he had to say and then said good-bye at the end of it. but this encouraged him to call again. it was impossible until the idea of going to albert and bernadette's had presented itself."
also, this next one, tell me what you're idea on this is.
"the sooner you realize that everyone wants to screw you the better off you'll be. and she had said something foolish and girl-like, like, no, no, i'm not even good looking. and alan had told her, fuck off. you're seventeen and you're not fat. don't kid yourself that it has anything to do with your looks or your personality or your charisma or anything about you whatsoever. it's about guys. guys are fucking pigs and the sooner you get that figured out the better off you'll be."
sometimes i think this is completely true and other times i find that it's totally off and that guys care. maybe only some guys care. i mean, i know girls that are like the guys in this description in this passage. *sigh* i don't know. how do you feel about it?
anyway, last night i went to robyns and we made mint, chrsthanthymum, orange blosson, lime tea. it was fun and tasty. we ate snickerdoodles that i made before i came over and spoke about her trip to china. it was a simple nice night.
well, that's about it for my night. let me leave you with this little thing i wrote.
i used to think that police officers didn't smoke because they knew it was bad for them.
then i saw a police man smoking
and i thought the world was ending.
this afternoon i came home from work and listened to this crazy old french album i bought a couple of weeks ago. it's a recording of a night at a cafe in montmartre. everyone in the bar/cafe sings along and claps and you can hear laughter and glasses clinking, hidden conversations. it makes me feel like i'm in france. i love it. while listening to that i made curry for dinner and spoke to lovely shaun on the telephone.
i then headed out for a bike ride to my favorite rock on the coquitlam river. smoked some cigarettes and wrote some poetry. i have been going to this rock since i was in middle school. it's always changing. someone spray painted the word "epic" on it, i found that hysterical and highly appropriate at the same time. some pretty "epic" moments have happened for me on that rock. i got back on my bicycle and rode to matteos gelato in "downtown" poco. had a soy vanilla affagatto and relaxed on the patio wriitng some more and just generally relaxing and taking in the cool breeze.
rode to the grocery store and picked up some things and came home to make some mango fruit bread. i just had a slice and it's delicious!
shaun and i had a conversation about how much i love food. i don't think i really started to love food until i became vegetarian. being vegan now and having to cook all the time and having myself actually enjoy cooking has made my love for food even greater. also my peppers have started to grow! there are tiny little chilli peppers on my little chilli pepper plant! and mint and my basil is doing alright! ah, herbs. how i love warm summer weather and fresh herbs!
i have been reading this book called seraphita. it's a classic by balzac about an angel who represents all that is love. but, she is not mortal and should not be approached my humans. but two people on earth are in love with her, well the woman is in love with seraphitas male counterpart, seraphitus. i have a quote from this book that i just read and love. it's minna speaking about her feelings for seraphitus although nothing will ever happen between them because he is a celestal being.
"his secrets are not mine. when i am with him, i know nothing; with him, i cease to be myself; away from him, i forget that more perfect life. seeing him is as a dream, of which my rememberance depends on his will. i may have heard, when with him, the music of which bancker's wife and erickson's speak, and forget it when we are apart; i may have perceived those celestial perfumes and have beheld marvels, and yet know nothing of them here."
i read this and it spoke so very strongly to me. it's exudes exactly how it feels when you're in love with anyone. at least to me. how you remain completely helpless and at the others will. but maybe this is not love actually. maybe this is only infatuation which you cannot get over as quickly. infatuation seems to be something that will last a lifetime. infatuation needs no actual connection just beauty and wonder.
i have these other passages from the book strange heaven by lynn coady that i enjoyed as well. i didn't find the book that great. the read was simple and the narrative jumped around too much but these two passages touched me.
"the mean phone calls wouldn't come until at least a couple of weeks after the nice ones, so you couldn't say he was not trying. and it had been so hard, bridget hadn't known what to do or say because she didn't hate him, she didn't want to make him angry or hate her, but she didn't want anything to do with him, either. there was no way of conveying this. if she were to come out and say, "mark, i don't care how you're feeling or what you're doing," he would become infuriated. so for awhile she simply listened to everything he had to say and then said good-bye at the end of it. but this encouraged him to call again. it was impossible until the idea of going to albert and bernadette's had presented itself."
also, this next one, tell me what you're idea on this is.
"the sooner you realize that everyone wants to screw you the better off you'll be. and she had said something foolish and girl-like, like, no, no, i'm not even good looking. and alan had told her, fuck off. you're seventeen and you're not fat. don't kid yourself that it has anything to do with your looks or your personality or your charisma or anything about you whatsoever. it's about guys. guys are fucking pigs and the sooner you get that figured out the better off you'll be."
sometimes i think this is completely true and other times i find that it's totally off and that guys care. maybe only some guys care. i mean, i know girls that are like the guys in this description in this passage. *sigh* i don't know. how do you feel about it?
anyway, last night i went to robyns and we made mint, chrsthanthymum, orange blosson, lime tea. it was fun and tasty. we ate snickerdoodles that i made before i came over and spoke about her trip to china. it was a simple nice night.
well, that's about it for my night. let me leave you with this little thing i wrote.
i used to think that police officers didn't smoke because they knew it was bad for them.
then i saw a police man smoking
and i thought the world was ending.