(no subject)
When I get asked "How are you doing?", I want to answer truthfully, but I know that no one wants to hear that. So I say "allright" and move on. Im not allright. My mind is like my stomach after an all night bender at finbar. It goes in and out of feeling weird, complacent, anxious, sad, jelous, happy, confused, wonder, and a variety of other feelings all in the time it takes to write the previous paragraph. I guess its everything that has happend over the past few months, everything in my life changing all at once. I couldnt deal with it. Everything happend too fast for me. So this is for everyone who wants to know exactly how I feel...But not just me. Anyone. If something makes you mad, Post it here. Airing of Grivences. (yes fron festivus!)
1. 4/24/07 9:30am My teacher yelled at me for having laptop open and being on the internet. Yeah I was on the internet. and taking notes, and coding. So fuck you. He wasnt lecturing, so I ventured on to the tubes to check my mail, he sees it and berates me in front of the class. Fuck that, I have never in my time here at empire felt so berated and embarrassed in class. Everyone around me in on the internet on desktops and on laptops, and Im the one who gets singled out? why? is it because Im doing in windows, is it because I have stated previously that I have my own priorities. Im leaving to watch the United game at 11 anyway. But it just makes me angry, and question, why me, I stay ahead of the class with lessons, I make jokes at the approriate time, I ask questions! Why not target the former convict with the anger problem! But the bigger question looms. Why have I been a target all of my life?
I have been picked on, beat up, and treated like shit most of my life, and I never could figure out why. Is it because I am nice to everyone at first, do I come off as a bit weird? (i am fucking proud of that) What is it about people that they have to give the short end of the stick to those who dont fit the mold that the larger group has defined. So this is a big fucking middle finger to everyone who has ever made fun of me for who I am. Beat me up because I was different
1. 4/24/07 9:30am My teacher yelled at me for having laptop open and being on the internet. Yeah I was on the internet. and taking notes, and coding. So fuck you. He wasnt lecturing, so I ventured on to the tubes to check my mail, he sees it and berates me in front of the class. Fuck that, I have never in my time here at empire felt so berated and embarrassed in class. Everyone around me in on the internet on desktops and on laptops, and Im the one who gets singled out? why? is it because Im doing in windows, is it because I have stated previously that I have my own priorities. Im leaving to watch the United game at 11 anyway. But it just makes me angry, and question, why me, I stay ahead of the class with lessons, I make jokes at the approriate time, I ask questions! Why not target the former convict with the anger problem! But the bigger question looms. Why have I been a target all of my life?
I have been picked on, beat up, and treated like shit most of my life, and I never could figure out why. Is it because I am nice to everyone at first, do I come off as a bit weird? (i am fucking proud of that) What is it about people that they have to give the short end of the stick to those who dont fit the mold that the larger group has defined. So this is a big fucking middle finger to everyone who has ever made fun of me for who I am. Beat me up because I was different