(no subject)
Argh. I have no idea why this was so hard to write-the beginning was pretty easy and took me like five minutes, and then the rest of it I would type one word, delete it, type a sentence, stare at the screen, delete it....etc. Took like half an hour and I can't figure out why. I'm still not overly fond of it-parts seem a little awkward.
I thought that he was everything I wanted.
He had soft hair and pretty eyes, and I thought he was what I wanted. He barely ever talked to me, and when he did I would make the easy expected responses and smile nervously, clenching my hands. I knew that I would never be what he wanted and I half-hated myself for it, spent nights crying.
Until one night I stopped. I looked up and realized he wasn't anything I wanted.
And then she was everything I wanted.
She had strong hands and a pretty mouth, and she was what I wanted. We weren't very close at first, but we got closer over the summer-friends. And I felt guilty and deceitful because I didn't tell her that I wanted anything more. And I half-hated myself for it, knew that I would never be what she wanted.
Until one night I stopped. I looked up and realized, maybe, I was what she wanted, too.
I thought that he was everything I wanted.
He had soft hair and pretty eyes, and I thought he was what I wanted. He barely ever talked to me, and when he did I would make the easy expected responses and smile nervously, clenching my hands. I knew that I would never be what he wanted and I half-hated myself for it, spent nights crying.
Until one night I stopped. I looked up and realized he wasn't anything I wanted.
And then she was everything I wanted.
She had strong hands and a pretty mouth, and she was what I wanted. We weren't very close at first, but we got closer over the summer-friends. And I felt guilty and deceitful because I didn't tell her that I wanted anything more. And I half-hated myself for it, knew that I would never be what she wanted.
Until one night I stopped. I looked up and realized, maybe, I was what she wanted, too.