So this is the New Year
This year is going to bring something different my way. I can feel it in the air.
I'm not sure how I feel about this and it is going to be quite confusing for awhile. Let me explain myself a bit: I'd like to think that last year was a good year. And aside from me being sick for a good three months and some other untimely circumstance and stupid choices, it was. I finally picked a major, and I love it. I've made Bellingham my true home. I went to China. I've had fun. I have a job that I love. Family life is "better" (or I've learned to deal with it in a healthier way). I have learned a lot about myself.
It is in learning more about myself that I become confused and feel sort of disoriented and out of place. I've decided to finally stand up for myself in some areas, and break ties in others and take some risks. Because of this I have been shifted out of the familiar comfort zone that I called life. Now I have no roots and securities and I have to start over. I'm sort of being transplanted, if you will, but I don't know where just yet. It's unsettling knowing that the support and network of people I once had is gone. That was partly by choice and partly by unfortunate events. At any rate, it leaves me in an odd place at the tail end of my college career. What do I do next? It could be anything, which is both exciting and unnerving.
I could really use some sleep, but I am terrified of going to bed because I keep having this reacurring dream that I have been thrown into a dungeon with Hannibal Lecter and he starts eating me alive. Scary, huh?
I'm not sure how I feel about this and it is going to be quite confusing for awhile. Let me explain myself a bit: I'd like to think that last year was a good year. And aside from me being sick for a good three months and some other untimely circumstance and stupid choices, it was. I finally picked a major, and I love it. I've made Bellingham my true home. I went to China. I've had fun. I have a job that I love. Family life is "better" (or I've learned to deal with it in a healthier way). I have learned a lot about myself.
It is in learning more about myself that I become confused and feel sort of disoriented and out of place. I've decided to finally stand up for myself in some areas, and break ties in others and take some risks. Because of this I have been shifted out of the familiar comfort zone that I called life. Now I have no roots and securities and I have to start over. I'm sort of being transplanted, if you will, but I don't know where just yet. It's unsettling knowing that the support and network of people I once had is gone. That was partly by choice and partly by unfortunate events. At any rate, it leaves me in an odd place at the tail end of my college career. What do I do next? It could be anything, which is both exciting and unnerving.
I could really use some sleep, but I am terrified of going to bed because I keep having this reacurring dream that I have been thrown into a dungeon with Hannibal Lecter and he starts eating me alive. Scary, huh?