(no subject)
I'm not sure whats happening right now. I went over to Mel's after work spontaniously because she hasn't answered any of my messages since friday. Even after seeing Sal there im still clinging to the idea that maybe something is wrong with her phone, maybe thats why she isn't answering my calls... love is stupid.
I just wanted to see her for a few minutes to ask her about this date night we had tentively planned for tonight. Orginally she had said maybe if she was all caught up with all her studying. She is super busy and finals are coming... ok ... im imagining every second she has she is buried deep in books.
I went over there and she is watching southpark with Sal.
We have been dating for 5 months, and she acts like i barly even exist.
She has time to hang out and watch southpark, but has no time for me.
i feel hurt all the time. i dont think she really understands or cares about me or my feelings... i adore her, how can being in a relationship with a goddess feel like something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
i felt like i was interupting. She didn't want me to be there...
i feel crushed. Like there is a litral weight squeezing my blood vessels. I dont want to feel like this anymore. This relationship hasn't been good for a long while, but i cant quit... im in love with her too much. But im not one of her Fin-dom slaves that actually enjoy this. I just dont want to lose something that has the potential to be amazing later on.
But im starting to feel now that she might not care about me. Maybe this pain and hurt is always going to be there. Even after her nursing degree will she still be making excuses to not spend time with me? Why is she even keeping me around? Why doesn't she just tell me she doesn't want me anymore?
I just wanted to see her for a few minutes to ask her about this date night we had tentively planned for tonight. Orginally she had said maybe if she was all caught up with all her studying. She is super busy and finals are coming... ok ... im imagining every second she has she is buried deep in books.
I went over there and she is watching southpark with Sal.
We have been dating for 5 months, and she acts like i barly even exist.
She has time to hang out and watch southpark, but has no time for me.
i feel hurt all the time. i dont think she really understands or cares about me or my feelings... i adore her, how can being in a relationship with a goddess feel like something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
i felt like i was interupting. She didn't want me to be there...
i feel crushed. Like there is a litral weight squeezing my blood vessels. I dont want to feel like this anymore. This relationship hasn't been good for a long while, but i cant quit... im in love with her too much. But im not one of her Fin-dom slaves that actually enjoy this. I just dont want to lose something that has the potential to be amazing later on.
But im starting to feel now that she might not care about me. Maybe this pain and hurt is always going to be there. Even after her nursing degree will she still be making excuses to not spend time with me? Why is she even keeping me around? Why doesn't she just tell me she doesn't want me anymore?