I asked France for help because he didn't want to trample me into the mud under his boot heel anymore! Of course he knew that's what you were going to do! Did you forget the sheer size of the task force you launched at me? Even Prussia and-and... Spain knew that!
[ America's yelling has become more animated now, rising and falling on the scale of pitch as he talks. He strongly dislikes mentioning Spain; the other Nation's name leaves a startlingly bitter taste in his mouth as soon as it's off his tongue, but America keeps pushing forward, even when England seems almost as if he's given up on their shouting match. He approaches the other blonde and grabs him tightly by the elbow in an attempt to spin him back around. America isn't finished yet, even if the Island Nation thinks he is. ]
But this isn't about them! It's about you and me, and how no matter what I do, you will never see me as anything other than a kid. If you don't care, then why should I? Huh? Tell me, England - why should I care about you and everything you did do for me at all anymore? If you still would have just kept me like some kind of possession of yours, then why the hell should I feel sorry for finding help wherever I could? All I wanted was to stand on my own. I just didn't want you to see me like that anymore. I wanted to be able to have a choice! How was that so wrong of me? If you'd just accepted that I wasn't your kid brother anymore, we wouldn't- it wouldn't... Goddamn you, England.
[ England's adamant refusal to meet his eyes frustrates and angers America only more. He growls lowly in the back of his throat, and uses his free hand to take a hold of the other Nation's chin and jaw firmly in his fingers. He gives England's arm a good shake as though that'll further convince him to look at him directly. ]
It's all I used to care about!
[ The easy answer is a very forward "yes, of course", but America will be damned if he admits as much at this moment, in this age. He may trust England far more now than he used to, may be more open to showing concern for him than he used to be after he had his independence, but giving him that much more knowledge of his weaknesses will only give England something else to throw back in his face the next time they argue, won't it? So what would be the point of that? ]
/holdssss because sob, these twostatusquodebtFebruary 8 2012, 10:30:58 UTC
[ America acknowledges the less-than-defiant emotions being present in England's green eyes, but he hardly gives them more than a thought or two - in fact, he pointedly disregards them, purposely avoiding the chance of recognizing anything he sees in them as emotion he's felt about this subject matter.
Even so, however, England's questions stoke his anger and his grip on the other Nation tightens, brings him closer. ]
Maybe something like, "You're not just another valuable resource for the great British Empire, America." Or at least, "Let's not fight. I'll let you go."
[ America does chuckle; he laughs, the sound hollow, in bitter disbelief, though he shouldn't be surprised. ]
I guess it's just like you to not even think about trying. Damn stubborn old man...
[ He can think of at least a handful of things England can say now, even after all these years, and America would think better of him for them. An apology, correction, reassurance... admission- ]
I guess there's not.
[ He softens his hand on England's face before gently releasing his grip on the older Nation's elbow. He keeps his fingers on his jaw for a while more, almost stroking his skin, looking into those green irises, before he pushes him away, turning his head as he does. ]
[ America's yelling has become more animated now, rising and falling on the scale of pitch as he talks. He strongly dislikes mentioning Spain; the other Nation's name leaves a startlingly bitter taste in his mouth as soon as it's off his tongue, but America keeps pushing forward, even when England seems almost as if he's given up on their shouting match. He approaches the other blonde and grabs him tightly by the elbow in an attempt to spin him back around. America isn't finished yet, even if the Island Nation thinks he is. ]
But this isn't about them! It's about you and me, and how no matter what I do, you will never see me as anything other than a kid. If you don't care, then why should I? Huh? Tell me, England - why should I care about you and everything you did do for me at all anymore? If you still would have just kept me like some kind of possession of yours, then why the hell should I feel sorry for finding help wherever I could? All I wanted was to stand on my own. I just didn't want you to see me like that anymore. I wanted to be able to have a choice! How was that so wrong of me? If you'd just accepted that I wasn't your kid brother anymore, we wouldn't- it wouldn't... Goddamn you, England.
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(The comment has been removed)
It's all I used to care about!
[ The easy answer is a very forward "yes, of course", but America will be damned if he admits as much at this moment, in this age. He may trust England far more now than he used to, may be more open to showing concern for him than he used to be after he had his independence, but giving him that much more knowledge of his weaknesses will only give England something else to throw back in his face the next time they argue, won't it? So what would be the point of that? ]
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Even so, however, England's questions stoke his anger and his grip on the other Nation tightens, brings him closer. ]
Maybe something like, "You're not just another valuable resource for the great British Empire, America." Or at least, "Let's not fight. I'll let you go."
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
I guess it's just like you to not even think about trying. Damn stubborn old man...
[ He can think of at least a handful of things England can say now, even after all these years, and America would think better of him for them. An apology, correction, reassurance... admission- ]
I guess there's not.
[ He softens his hand on England's face before gently releasing his grip on the older Nation's elbow. He keeps his fingers on his jaw for a while more, almost stroking his skin, looking into those green irises, before he pushes him away, turning his head as he does. ]
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Well, don't get carried away. I don't think about it the same way you do. I wish you would let it go.
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(The comment has been removed)
'Dunno what you were expecting.
[ He glances back at England once, pulling his jacket around himself more securely as though putting his emotional armor back up into place. ]
...I'm outta here.
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