Fic: Observations, Ch 7

Jan 12, 2009 10:07

My own assessment is slightly divergent.

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observations, fanfiction

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Comments 5

batfan_sarah November 18 2009, 18:42:46 UTC
another good chapter. since i noticed there don't seem to be *any* comments on these so far, i'm just gonna keep doing it every couple of installments.

by the way, just a little typo here: "Thus far, nothing has extraordinary has befallen the captain."

you've got an extra "has" in there :)

*runs off to chapter 8*

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anon_j_anon November 18 2009, 23:24:13 UTC
Noted and corrected, thanks. Also, thanks very much for the comments. I don't have any comments on 'Observations' here partially because I originally posted on ff.net.

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danahid November 30 2009, 09:25:47 UTC
The thing that strikes me most about this chapter is the form. The dialogue-based narrative is propulsive and chaotic, much as I expect the bridge would be in its first real mission-related emergency. The geologic theory is fascinating; the way you convey it through the curious and competitive scientists is equally fascinating.

And of course, I was delighted by Jim's sheer delight at the end (and Spock's confusion/consternation at his illogic). This -- When I inquired as to the source of his happiness, he replied, “The mission went well. That’s why.” -- is exactly how I imagine Jim and Spock interacting.

Lovely, as always.

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13empress December 8 2009, 04:35:29 UTC
Your attention to detail and willingness to go into detail is amazing
I feel like I'm watching an episode - or rather a between-episode
You know like when TOS episodes would open with a, we're now taking shore leave after our last harrowing mission, assisting so and so colony with some random natural disaster etc. I feel like I'm getting to see what the log was about :)

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astraea5 October 15 2010, 00:29:18 UTC
Another great chapter. I really liked the fact that everyone except Spock remains convinced that something bad is going to happen at some point.

Your geology is a little shaky here, although it's still considerably better than the usual quality of ST science. The geomagnetic reversal process usually takes several thousand years rather than several years and a planet in which all volcanic activity is concentrated on one side would likely not have the internal convection current required to create a magnetic field or tectonic activity in the first place. This chapter was wonderful enough that you can get away with fudging your science in order to make things interesting, though.

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