Fic: Last Christmas - or Hoops Jim Had to Jump Through to Give Bones a Special Christmas Gift

[anon_be_done]

A/N: Written for a prompt over at space_wrapped - Bones tells Jim about a treasured possession (a childhood toy, for example, although it can be anything you want) that he had but lost. Cue Jim going through hell and high water to find him a replacement in time for Christmas.

Disclaimer: I own nothing; just this fanfic is completely my fault. My marvellous fault, oh my!


Last Christmas - or Hoops Jim Had to Jump Through to Give Bones a Special Christmas Gift

Prologue

It was quite funny how many things Jim could learn when he was drunk as skunk. For example, he learnt that drunken sex may be quite funny - but not in the, uhm, enjoyable way. But then again, he was always told you should laugh a bit in bed, so… Yeah, one got the picture.

But the most interesting things he learnt when drunk when he got drunk with Bones, his BFF, as he liked to call him (although never to his face - that man could wield a hypo!). Like how he met his ex (that was quite romantic story - but then again, the results were pretty catastrophic, co sometimes Jim was quite glad he had no sense for romance). Or how he cheated on one of his exams (that one was pretty funny - that definitely taught Bones to be always willing to give you anti-hangover hypo when you were suffering after night of partying and had an exam waiting for you). Or what the man though about Starfleet (the ride to San Fran had been really interesting, when Bones ranted the whole time - they got so much more drunk during the flight).

But the most interesting, as well as most touching story Bones ever told him, was about him, his father, his wife and his little girl celebrating last (although they didn’t know at the time it will be their last) Christmas together.

His father sang him a song, Christmas 1915, for the first and last time - his voice so full of feelings that even now Bones’ eyes were full of unshed tears. Silent nights, no canons roar, King was born of peace forevermore. All’s calm, all’s bright, all brothers hand in hand.

Jim himself had not had much to tell about Christmas. They sure celebrated that holiday; while Winona had only rarely been around, Frank had been doing his best to give them good holidays - but since there is only so much one can when faced with two extra uncooperative children… Yet he never stopped trying, and once Jim was old enough to finally appreciate the efforts, he told Frank he was sorry for being so difficult before. It was freeing to finally see the true spirit of Christmas - the peace and family, with smell of mead and good food. So, now he was wondering what to give to Bones.

He sure couldn’t recreate any of the Christmases Bones told him about having as a child - he lacked the proper people and… Well, he lacked most of the people - but maybe he could get THE EX to agree to let her ex-husband to have their child for the Christmas. He sure had the best of ideas, he thought in his drunken haze.

He just had to put the memo into his PADD, lest he would forget about it.

-o.O.o-

So, from what Bones told him during their drunk days, Jim always imagined Jocelyn as a kind of spitfire. It really did surprise him when he found out that she was actually quite nice - pretty, well-mannered and with just the right amount of sass. He could see what attracted Bones to her.

Anyway, she certainly wasn’t all over the moon with having strangers hacking her private terminal for her number and calling her when she was obviously just trying to relax.

“Look, Mr Kirk,” she said with careful pronunciation, “I understand that you are Leonard’s classmate and roommate and one of his most regular patients, but what does that have to do with Joanna?”

“You see,” he said with equal carefulness, “Bones - I mean, Leonard - is one of my few true friends. I would like to give him something special for Christmas for all the times he had been there for me. Hey,” he raised his hands when he saw her opening her mouth to protest, “I know that sounded weird, but he told me about the last Christmas you celebrated as family and I know asking you to come would be quite over the top, I hoped you would let Joanna to visit her father.”

Jocelyn had been quiet for such a long time that he almost accepted a defeat and excused himself for bothering her and went to break his brain in search for another special gift for Bones, when she spoke: “I have several conditions, Mr Kirk. If you meet them all, I will let Joanna to San Francisco.”

Huzzah! He still got it, he thought. But then Jocelyn voiced her conditions and his heart sunk a little. He had million things to do - and such a short time, because in twelve days, Christmas will come to town.

One - His Criminal Record

The first of Jocelyn’s conditions had been quite easy to meet, although it made him rather self-conscious about that. She wanted to see his full criminal record - from the place he originated from (since she correctly realized that once he joined the Starfleet, his criminal record would have to stay clear). In result that meant he had to take a shuttle to Riverside, hunt down the sheriff, wrangle the extract from the Penal Register from him and sent it over to her and explain each of the records to her.

It certainly was awkward to explain why he drove a car into quarry or got into at least twenty bar fights.

Two - Nice Words About Bones From Five People

Bones was absolutely amazing doctor, probably the best one in the whole of Medical track. Sadly, his shiny personality made it very difficult to make for people to actually compliment him on anything. He did some spectacular surgery? He is doctor, dammit, surgeries are what he does. He did excel at his exams? He probably wouldn’t but given the fact that some of his classmates are obviously only slightly smarter than an amoeba, he managed to excel, so what.

It took him several days before he managed to collect recordings of five people which could be considered at least slightly complimentary. After all, Jocelyn didn’t specify what kind of nice words it should be, did  she?

Two point One - Christine Chapel

“So, what do you think about Bones, I mean, Leonard McCoy?”

“Jim, I have no idea why you are so suddenly interested in public image of Doctor McCoy, but if the following words make it to him, you are going to find yourself having very, very painful hypo-applications, you hear me? He’s one grumpy bastard, but  he’s the best damn surgeon I ever worked with.”

Two point Two - Uhura

“What do you think about Bones?”

“Seriously, Kirk, don’t you have anything better to do than bother me? Don’t you have someone else to flirt with?”

“Hey, Uhura-who-has-no-first-name, I’m seriously asking you about your opinion of my best friend. What about that sounds like flirting?”

Snort. “Out of the two of you he is the one with manners. And he has most adorable Southern drawl I’ve ever heard when he talks to small children. Or you.”

Two point Three - Doctor Piper

“Doctor, what do you think about Doctor McCoy?”

“Hm, McCoy? He sure got golden hands of healer - but that bedside manner. That one is terrible.”

Two point Four - Gary Mitchell

“Hey, Gary, what do you think about Bones?”

“Is that some kind of joke, Jim? You know damn well what I think about him - he probably switches only between ‘annoyed’ and ‘ready to bite your head off’ mood. Oh, ya, and he makes mean steaks. Totally worth the nagging about the fat clogging your veins.”

Two point Five - Jim Kirk

“Alright, and what do I think about Bones? Well, he sure has side which makes shooting him really appealing - like that nasty bedside manner and his sharp-hypoing skills. But you know, for all the bitchtitude he shows he’s really great person with good sense of humour and good intentions which way too often come out wrong. Oh, and did I mention his aim with the hypo is really exceptional?”

Jocelyn seemed to be quite amused when he presented her with those recordings. Not that he could blame her.

Three - Coming Over

Hoop number three should have been quite pleasant - Jim was supposed to come over to Georgia several days before the Christmas, to see whether Jo would even be willing to spend some time with Bones and thus with him - and whether he would actually be able to take care of her. Yet… After one hour in their presence Jim had been ready to jump out of the nearest window. Or ask to be transported to station orbiting around Earth and throw himself out of the airlock.

No one ever told him that Joanna had been such terrible brat. She was loud; she was very ill-behaved and obviously hated him on the very first sight.

It wasn’t as if he could hold it against her - after all, he was quite similar when he was her age, but it still was quite disheartening to find a female who disliked him so much without really knowing him (even Uhura wasn’t so disagreeable to his presence). But what he wouldn’t do for Bones.

Even put up with a child who couldn’t stand him.

Four - Four People Speaking In His Favour

Now he felt like the cock in the fairy tale about hen and cock, when the hen (or cock, depending on the version you stumbled upon) got chocked on a nut and the other one had to get them some water - but the stream wouldn’t give them any, until they brought him something what someone else had and that started a chain of “if you bring me this, I will give you that”. All of them were actually pretty sympathetic to his plight and quest to make McCoy’s Christmas better - but yeah, nothing comes for free, especially in Starfleet.

First he came to Chris Pike, to ask him to speak for him to Jocelyn - he explained that it’s not because he would like to seduce her (as some people obviously believed) but to get her to agree with letting Joanna to spend the Christmas with her father. Chris agreed - but only if Jim brought him some book he lent to Admiral Archer about two years ago. He really wanted it back, and Jim really needed the good word.

So he went to Archer. The Admiral seemed to be really genuinely sorry for hogging the book for such a long time - after all, he had been good friends with Chris, and knew his love for books, especially this one. But somehow, he found himself in some kind of trouble, too, and only Jim could help him. Would he be so kind and got him Porthos back from Admiral Barnett? That meanie stole the dog, and refused to give him back. And Archer needed his trusty beagle companion.

Barnett himself obviously would nothing more than to get rid of that damned yapping dog, which peed everywhere and also managed to chew up his favourite shoes. But surprisingly, he found himself in need of a favour. You see, Komack got a pair of his shoes - obviously, the other Admiral once had an accident no one spoke about which left him in need of shoes, so Barnett lent him his. And since Porthos (“that blasted four-legged yapping furball”) chewed his shoes into oblivion, Barnett would like those shoes back.

And you bet Komack was no other from the other higher-ups Jim needed to speak for him. So, yeah, he has no complaints about returning the shoes (even if they were damn comfy) - but no way he would give them to Jim for free. So, for three days Jim found himself readings through four different PADDs with essays cadets attending Komack’s classes wrote, and writing evaluations for those and grading them. When he was reading through third PADD, he had been seriously considering quitting, and just email Jocelyn that he’s sorry for bothering her before and could she please forget she ever heard about him?

But when he returned to the room he shared with Bones later that day (right, it was nearly tomorrow when he got back) and his eyes fell on small picture Bones had on his desk (an old photo of his family - his parents, he, Jocelyn, her parents, and baby Joanna; all of them smiling happily), he just couldn’t.

‘Grow some balls, man,’ he thought, as he saved his (at least) two hundredth evaluation of some crappy essay, and suggested grade for the work. Whoosh, was it really around midnight again? Funny, the librarian didn’t even come to kick him out of the private study room he holed himself in. Yawning, he gathered his things and went to the dorm room he shared with Bones. Sleep, oh sleep.

Luckily, the ball finally got rolling once he submitted finished evaluations to Komack, and he got the good words he needed.

Cadet Kirk, while often showing problems with authorities, can be quite an authoritative figure himself. With proper training and using his sense of discipline he is going to be exemplary officer in the future.

-

Cadet Kirk is going to be good diplomat, especially when it comes to dealing with difficult people.

-

Cadet Kirk is one of the best players of catch I’ve ever had the honour to meet. Says Porthos.

-

Cadet Kirk would be an excellent player of DnD, with his gift of solving “I will give you this if you bring me that” quests like a boss. His level would be epic.

-

He hated every single one of them - but if nothing else, it was quite funny to see Komack’s students to be all bewildered at the detailed feedback they received for their essays. Also, Jocelyn seemed to be content with what she got and woohoo, hoop number five could come.

-o.O.o-

Bones had no idea what got into Jim lately. Sure, the younger man always had been running himself to the ground with his schedule, the little of his time spent with his friends or in library. Bones liked to think himself being one of those friends, as Jim spent most of the “friends” time with him - but lately, things changed.

Jim seemed to be never really around anymore; Bones kind of hoped they would spend the Christmas together (again) but he never had the opportunity to ask about that, as Jim came to their dorm late in the night and left at the break of the dawn Bones thought. And he missed someone’s presence, especially since he got so used to having him around most of the time.

Who would have thought that - he, infamous grouch, got used to have someone around?

It just looked that no good thing lasts, as first showed his broken marriage with Jocelyn, and now his crashing friendship with Jim.

-o.O.o-

Five - Get Joanna To San Francisco

Now that was something he really was quite scared of. He was no coward (he liked to think) but when he remembered how Joanna reacted when she saw him last time, he was a bit apprehensive towards the idea of spending several hours alone with her when they travelled with the public transports.

When he saw her, he thought this nice and smiling girl is actually an imposter and Jocelyn is having good laugh somewhere. “Hello,” she told him shyly, hiding behind her mother’s leg.  And that was it - this cute little girl, who watched everything around her with big brown eyes, totally stole his heart.

“Sorry about the spectacle from before,” said Jocelyn with a smirk, “but I kind of wanted to know how you would handle a child terror and told Joanna to play misbehaving child.”

“Yeah,” responded Jim, feeling slightly awkward. It’s not that he could really blame Jocelyn from doing that but it still irked him that he had been tested like that. He looked down at the girl again. “You ready to surprise your dad?”

“Yes!” she squeed, grabbing his hand impatiently, nearly dragging him in the direction of their shuttle. He almost left her travel bag next to Jocelyn in his surprise. He had just enough brain cells left after his shock to comm Christine and make her swear on ten different gods and angels and demons that she will make sure Bones won’t be on shift that evening, even if she had to help him hack the database to re-assign Bones’ shifts. At the beginning she protested profoundly, but once he said “I’m bringing Joanna today”, she agreed immediately.

Later, he got a message from her. “Mission accomplished, Mr Fine. I suppose that the reason for Leonard looking like kicked puppy last few days were due to you working your ass off to make this happen. Make him look normal, I beg you. It’s difficult to trade insults with someone who looks so sad.”

Now that was something he and Joanna sure could do without trying all that hard now.

Luckily for them, they met no one on their short walk through the Academy campus towards their dorm. Quickly, they hid Joanna’s things, so Bones wouldn’t notice that something is not quite right in their dorm when he entered the place, and tried, if Joanna fits in the big paper box Jim fetched earlier.

“You will be hiding in the box, and Bones - I mean, your dad - will open it and you will jump and yell ‘Surprise!’.” You got it?”

The girl nodded enthusiastically. The evening could start, as a comm from Christine said. “Incoming Mr Grumpy. Be careful - today he bites!”

-o.O.o-

Bones didn’t quite understand how it’s possible that his shift today got rescheduled. He signed for it days ago, nearly getting in a full-blown argument about that with his superiors - and now his shift got rescheduled? What the hell?!

A quiet beep notified him of a message received. It was from Jim. “Come home, Bonesy, got something for ya! :-)”

Right. After days of nearly completely ignoring him he suddenly wants to be around him again. “What for?” he typed back.

“For Christmas present I got for you, of course. C’mon, Bonesy, this is not some tomfoolery.”

Sighing, he put the comm into his pocket and left the hospital, seriously considering buying some bourbon or anything with high amount of alcohol in it. But maybe that was the gift Jim got him. After all, they tended to exchange some more expensive alcohol for those special occasions.

And part of him hoped his roommate stayed true to that little tradition of theirs, because today, he seriously needed it.

-o.O.o-

“I can see him on the sidewalk there - in the box, missy!” called Jim to Joanna, who had been drawing something on his PADD to pass the time. When she heard him, she immediately jumped from her place, rushing to the other room, hiding in the box they placed on the bed, Jim fastening the lid with a big flashy bow to make it more Made by Jim look alike. Bones stomped in their dorm not so long afterwards, and even Jim could see that he was in pretty foul mood.

The best tactic would probably be retreat, the small part in Jim mind (the  one responsible for his self-preservation) told him - but he never really listened to that part of his mind, and stood his ground. Before Bones could say anything, he grabbed him and dragged him to their bedroom, standing him in front of the big box.

“I know you are angry, Bones, and you have reasons to be. But please, open your gift first, and then you can yell at me all you like.”

For a moment, it looked like Bones might have resisted. In the end, he just rolled his eyes and with a sigh, he moved to remove the flashy bow and lift the lid. Jim counted quietly: “Three… two… one…”

“Daddy, surprise!”

“Joanna!”

Jim knew he will still receive the yelling later, but seeing his friend with such a big and bright smile, as he held his little girl, would be worth of any yelling.

-o.O.o-

During the few days Joanna had been allowed to stay Jim made himself scarce, not wanting to impose on the precious time his friend had with his daughter. Sure, he would go to sleep in his dorm, or would share a meal with them when Bones would threaten him with a hypo or Joanna with puppy eyes - but otherwise, he always found something to occupy himself, even if it would be just sitting in the library and working on things in advance.

But then, the time of Jo’s stay was up, and it was time to bring her back to her mama, even if it broke their collective hearts.

Still, it was worth the trouble; be it all those fetching games, making complete idiot out of himself or facing his not-very-clean criminal record again. And part of him thought that even the mountains would move for the tight hug and whispered “idiot” he got, when he returned from the shuttle port.

Well, and for the big bottle of tequila he got afterwards, too.