Random Thoughts
Ok, so today was my last shift as a security guard for Wackenhut. All happy and good right? Well, my day went like this. 1) Woke up late and missed an appointment I had. 2) Found out that there was nothing to eat or drink in the apartment so I went hungry/thirsty. 3) Checked for my direct deposit. Hooray! Its 100 dollars less than the last one, which was 100 dollars less than the last one, which was 100 dollars less than the last one, which was 100 dollars less than the last one... see the patern? 4) Put on my last pair of clean work pants then sit down and they rip. 5) Get down to my truck and realize I left my window down all night, in the rain, so the interior of my truck is soaked.6) Go back up stairs to try and find a towel to put over the seat. Can't find my beach towles which are the only ones big enough. Finally find one. 7) Go back down to my truck.. running late for work.. and forget the clothes I needed to drop off to get laundered so I have something to wear for my new job on Monday. Guess I get to go clothes shopping tommrow.. hooray! more money I don't have and can't afford to spend but have to anyway.8) Get to work late and get reamed out by my boss for being late, right before he wishes me well in my new job. 9) its been raining all day so the sight is nothing but mud... and while walking a patrol i happen to step on what i thought was solid earth but was real loose, sloppy mud/quicksand and go in up to my knee... which trips me and I take a header into the mud. 9) Being extremely hungry and thirsty, I wrap myself in the towel and a jacket and drive to a gas station for food/drink. And come back to find the boss of my boss has stopped by for a visit and was wondering where I was. Get another ass chewing and the explanation that if this wasn't my last shift, I'd be written up. 10) Finally the blessed hour approaches and I get ready to go home, and have to wait 45 more minutes because my relief forgot he was supposed to work. Well, that was my day... karmic train to hell or what. I don't know who or what I pissed off but today (actually yesterday now) sucked monkey balls. And despite all of this, I still feel a sense of regret about leaving my job. This always happens to me. Every time I leave a job, intellectually I know its for the better and I will improve my station in life.. but I still feel guilt about leaving, like I'm some kind of traitor. Every job I've ever left.. I feel the same. Even though I cave them 2 weeks notice to find someone to replace me, they haven't/ And we were short staff anyway. So now, everybody assigned to both the St. Pete and Largo facilities are pulling 12-16 hour days every day to cover all the necessary shifts. And I feel responsible, and I feel guilty. Why? WHy? Why? WHy do I feel this way. I know I did everything right, and I have to look out for what is in my best interest, but it messes me up inside. Whatever... anyone has an insight.. feel free to share.. cause I can't figure it out. Peace.