original | chain of command

[miarr]

Original | WIP | 7800 words | BAT-ELLA verse | beta'd by electricpower and nekopyo.

Written for and dedicated to lukadron, to whom I promised a snippet story about Yue Guy and Remy, and who drew the gorgeous banner. Nobody knows this canon except us, but by all means, feel free to explore. :D Thanks to electricpower for minding my French and nekopyo for bugging me about chronology, and the both

Comments

[sabrina_il]

Oh man, I am SO LATE commenting on this fic. I read it and then life sort of happened and I was in no condition to comment and now that I am I can't remember precisely all the things I originally had to say.

However, let us start with: YOU ARE AWESOME because this is A SHITLOAD of words on an original fic of awesomeness and YOU GOT IT DONE BABY, YOU GOT IT DONE! :D

I love, love love the sharpness of your prose. I've said this before and I'll probably keep saying ti over every new thing you write. Just... sharp like a fucking blade, I swear. Imagery, mood, details packed into efficient phrasing.

The first half of the fic did have some pacing issues for me, or maybe I was just projecting because I've rewritten the "world building/introduction" sections of my own stuff so many times I've lost objectivity lol
I loved Remy's repeated "NOT THAT I AM A SADIST YOU UNDERSTAND" I kept wanting to go "OH OF COURSE NOT BB, OF COURSE NOT". I loved Yue's accent and his cracks - I'm also curious whether the name is supposed to mean anything, since Yue is Chinese for "moon", and I pronounced "Guy" the French way, as "Gi" in my head.

I liked getting into Remy's "imperfect" mind for torture/interrogation. I liked that the story played around with me, rather, as to Remy's real plans. I like that the world building was slow but, at the end of it, very satisfying and complete considering the length.

I liked the porn, I liked the dynamic, I liked the jokes (GOD I LOVED THE JOKES) and at the end of it I wanted to see more of this world, and these characters, and their wacky adventures.

&hearts HOW ARE YOU SO AWESOME BB, HOW?

I LOLed my ass of at BAT ELLA, OMG.