I hate waiting...
Few days go by that I don't think about her in some way. So many things bring back so many memories about her and me. Just passing by places or hearing certain songs.
American dry cleaning, big boy, bare naked ladies, hey jealousy, outlaw torn, etc. And the list goes on.
I wonder, sometimes, had we had the chance we did way back when, if it would have lasted until now? Would it still be going? How much longer would it last? But I know now that because of the lives we've led to this point that if it were to happen now it very well could be forever.
I've changed in ways she probably doesn't know about. Only for the good but I am still different. More desire, a stronger will and a sharper mind are only some of those ways. However, not all has changed for the better.
I miss her. I want that chance back...
Over the last week I have shifted back to what I had tried to stay away from. I have been having trouble concentrating; I have been doubting myself and my situation, and trying to find ways out of things so I wouldn't have to do as much.
I've become confused and frightened.
This is not me.
I know what has caused it and I can only blame myself for letting my thoughts of her get me this way. I have trouble not thinking about her and I love it and hate it at the same time. I like thinking about her because I miss her but I mess myself up hoping and wondering, not knowing if anything would ever come of it anyway.
Perhaps I'm wasting my time?
I want that chance back...
I cannot stop thinking about her whenever I hear this song. I've printed these lyrics before and she may have read them as well so for the rest of you just skip it if you don't care:
And now I wait my whole lifetime, for you
And now I wait my whole lifetime, for you
I ride the dirt I ride the tide, for you
I search the outside search inside, for you
To take back what you left me
I know I'll always burn to be
The one seeks so I may find
And now I wait my whole lifetime
Outlaw torn
Outlaw torn
And I'm torn
So on I wait my whole lifetime, for you
So on I wait my whole lifetime, for you
The more I search the more my need, for you
The more I bless the more I bleed, for you
You make me smash the clock and feel
I'd rather die behind the wheel
Time was never on my side
So on I wait my whole lifetime
Outlaw torn
Outlaw torn
Outlaw torn
And I'm torn
Hear me
And if I close my mind in fear
Please pry it open
See me
And if my face becomes sincere
Beware
Hold me
And when I start to come undone
Stitch me together
Save me
And when you see me strut
Remind me of what left this outlaw torn
Hear me
And if I close my mind in fear
Please pry it open
See me
And if my face becomes sincere
Beware
Hold me
And when I start to come undone
Stitch me together
And when you see me strut
Remind me of what left this outlaw torn
The words have more meaning for me because of the things that I have done and thought about. I don't know if she'll really understand it but I am open to clarify. I do not know what the actual song is about to the band but I know what my interpretation means.
I wonder what she's doing right now (4:13p.m her time tuesday)
I'm out, I'm getting messed up. I don't know why I do this to myself.
American dry cleaning, big boy, bare naked ladies, hey jealousy, outlaw torn, etc. And the list goes on.
I wonder, sometimes, had we had the chance we did way back when, if it would have lasted until now? Would it still be going? How much longer would it last? But I know now that because of the lives we've led to this point that if it were to happen now it very well could be forever.
I've changed in ways she probably doesn't know about. Only for the good but I am still different. More desire, a stronger will and a sharper mind are only some of those ways. However, not all has changed for the better.
I miss her. I want that chance back...
Over the last week I have shifted back to what I had tried to stay away from. I have been having trouble concentrating; I have been doubting myself and my situation, and trying to find ways out of things so I wouldn't have to do as much.
I've become confused and frightened.
This is not me.
I know what has caused it and I can only blame myself for letting my thoughts of her get me this way. I have trouble not thinking about her and I love it and hate it at the same time. I like thinking about her because I miss her but I mess myself up hoping and wondering, not knowing if anything would ever come of it anyway.
Perhaps I'm wasting my time?
I want that chance back...
I cannot stop thinking about her whenever I hear this song. I've printed these lyrics before and she may have read them as well so for the rest of you just skip it if you don't care:
And now I wait my whole lifetime, for you
And now I wait my whole lifetime, for you
I ride the dirt I ride the tide, for you
I search the outside search inside, for you
To take back what you left me
I know I'll always burn to be
The one seeks so I may find
And now I wait my whole lifetime
Outlaw torn
Outlaw torn
And I'm torn
So on I wait my whole lifetime, for you
So on I wait my whole lifetime, for you
The more I search the more my need, for you
The more I bless the more I bleed, for you
You make me smash the clock and feel
I'd rather die behind the wheel
Time was never on my side
So on I wait my whole lifetime
Outlaw torn
Outlaw torn
Outlaw torn
And I'm torn
Hear me
And if I close my mind in fear
Please pry it open
See me
And if my face becomes sincere
Beware
Hold me
And when I start to come undone
Stitch me together
Save me
And when you see me strut
Remind me of what left this outlaw torn
Hear me
And if I close my mind in fear
Please pry it open
See me
And if my face becomes sincere
Beware
Hold me
And when I start to come undone
Stitch me together
And when you see me strut
Remind me of what left this outlaw torn
The words have more meaning for me because of the things that I have done and thought about. I don't know if she'll really understand it but I am open to clarify. I do not know what the actual song is about to the band but I know what my interpretation means.
I wonder what she's doing right now (4:13p.m her time tuesday)
I'm out, I'm getting messed up. I don't know why I do this to myself.