Crazy...STONE COLD CRAZY, YOU!...

[anomalousrhythm]

a vicious circle

sitting, waiting
anticipating
i wonder if a thought will come...
writing, fighting
for a thought
i try to think, but my mind is numb...
thinking, sinking
an unnamed feeling
slowing washes over me...
creeping, looming
all consuming
it closes in, 'til i can't see...
...
once again, the darkness wins
steadily, it sucks me in
filling me with deep depression
in its same slow, tired fashion
cursing me with memories
of times back when i was happy
for more than just a fleeting minute
when i could sit and revel in it
though many times i have sought
the happiness and times forgot
every time i've been denied.
once again i sit and cry
wishing death upon myself
or to be alone, with no one else
but i know that all this sorrow
will be gone upon the 'morrow
as it's always been before
never knowing what's in store
until that moment comes to be
when darkness passes over me
once again pulling me under
tearing my whole mind asunder
sleeping as my only solace
only then do i not notice
what the darkness does to me
...i cannot wait to be asleep