I hate everything
My brain tells me this message over and over. I’ve learned that I should argue with it. It is not true. But the repetition wears me down.
I don’t hate the beach, the Cape, Provincetown, trans and queer community, many books, nature, animals, ice cream, chocolate, lobster, clams, avocado, mexican food, poetry, art, music, etc., etc.
There’s a lot to live for. But right now I feel like I can hardly move. It’s 4pm. It’s getting dark. It’s almost the shortest day of the year. Winter solstice. A time for contemplation and reflection. I siund put the Christmas tree lights on and light candles and play music and eat food.