"...or run into you before then." I went to Johnny's with my friend Dave to talk and to do homework. He left and then I was reading my homework. Then Annie came. And we talked and did homework. And then I saw him. He came back on campus to see me! He was standing near Johnny's. We saw each other but I freaked because that was the first time I saw him and I was like AH! He's here! Because I didn't expect to see him, honestly. After we saw each other, I looked away. And then I looked back and saw him pacing around, looking so confused, and not knowing what to do. And then we catch each other's eyes again (we're way far away from each other), and I wave, he waves. And then he heads over to the booth where Annie and I are sitting. We say hi and he slides in next to me. He says hi to Annie, and eventually, after I kick her under the table, she leaves (what a friend). Josh takes her place. And the talking commences. Some awkward silences at the beginning, we didn't know how to begin, I felt so unprepared and stupid. But then we started talking about things easier. We stretched out are feet, putting them next to each other on the seat. One time he kept his feet touching my waist. But the talking got better, and we were laughing hilariously with each other, and interrupting each other, but then letting the other person go first. It was so fun! Apparently, unbeknownst to me, a ton of girls from my floor (and a few guys from 3rd Schultze) came to spy on my "date"/meeting. But I didn't even see them, and neither did Josh (they were behind him). But anyways, it was a good conversation. We talked for over an hour, and then he said, "Well, do you have a lot of reading yet to do?" while looking at my Jane Austen books on the table. "Yeah, I should," I said. It was silent. And then I said, "Alright, well we better go then." So we stand up and walk away. He has a friend sitting elsewhere, who said hi to him earlier, and Josh says he's going to go talk to him. So he does. And then I walk by him and say, "So I'll see you around?" and he says, "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." And I say "Ok, bye." And then I'm thinking, how will he see me tomorrow? When? Where? AH! Silly boys and their not planning! I won't see him at the dining hall! I could stop by Johnny's tomorrow when he's eating lunch, but I really don't want to force myself upon this boy, you know?
I'm just so confused right now and I'm mad and sad that I feel that way, and that I'm not happier. Ah! But now I feel so utterly confused and I don't know why. I'm just wondering what will happen next between us...and for some reason I'm feel extremely pessimistic about it, thinking he'll just want to be friends. I don't know why I feel like that, but I feel really sad.
I went to Johnny's with my friend Dave to talk and to do homework. He left and then I was reading my homework. Then Annie came. And we talked and did homework. And then I saw him. He came back on campus to see me! He was standing near Johnny's. We saw each other but I freaked because that was the first time I saw him and I was like AH! He's here! Because I didn't expect to see him, honestly. After we saw each other, I looked away. And then I looked back and saw him pacing around, looking so confused, and not knowing what to do. And then we catch each other's eyes again (we're way far away from each other), and I wave, he waves. And then he heads over to the booth where Annie and I are sitting. We say hi and he slides in next to me. He says hi to Annie, and eventually, after I kick her under the table, she leaves (what a friend). Josh takes her place. And the talking commences. Some awkward silences at the beginning, we didn't know how to begin, I felt so unprepared and stupid. But then we started talking about things easier. We stretched out are feet, putting them next to each other on the seat. One time he kept his feet touching my waist. But the talking got better, and we were laughing hilariously with each other, and interrupting each other, but then letting the other person go first. It was so fun! Apparently, unbeknownst to me, a ton of girls from my floor (and a few guys from 3rd Schultze) came to spy on my "date"/meeting. But I didn't even see them, and neither did Josh (they were behind him). But anyways, it was a good conversation. We talked for over an hour, and then he said, "Well, do you have a lot of reading yet to do?" while looking at my Jane Austen books on the table. "Yeah, I should," I said. It was silent. And then I said, "Alright, well we better go then." So we stand up and walk away. He has a friend sitting elsewhere, who said hi to him earlier, and Josh says he's going to go talk to him. So he does. And then I walk by him and say, "So I'll see you around?" and he says, "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." And I say "Ok, bye." And then I'm thinking, how will he see me tomorrow? When? Where? AH! Silly boys and their not planning! I won't see him at the dining hall! I could stop by Johnny's tomorrow when he's eating lunch, but I really don't want to force myself upon this boy, you know?
I'm just so confused right now and I'm mad and sad that I feel that way, and that I'm not happier. Ah! But now I feel so utterly confused and I don't know why. I'm just wondering what will happen next between us...and for some reason I'm feel extremely pessimistic about it, thinking he'll just want to be friends. I don't know why I feel like that, but I feel really sad.
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