spoken like a champion: oh no! disaster!
there are several things rolling around in my head.
a few very strange dreams. what does it mean to dream of being trained to be a prostitute? at a pool? in my dream i decided that going down to ft myers and walking around on the beach carefree in my bikini would be good practice for my future. yep. in the dream i also lied to my first "client." he was 20, so i said i was 17. yep.
i think maybe the saying i was 17 stems from a recent experience where everyone i met thought i was somewhere between the age of 18 and maybe 21 at the oldest. i guess maybe no one would think that someone my age would be experiencing what i am. or perhaps that it's just too juvenile of a thing to do/go through.
oh, also weird dreams of him (yep). i can't really remember them specifically, but once again in the dreams, i am confused and trying to make something of nothing, but knowing that it's not right. like that's not a fucking flashing neon sign. which for some reason reminds me of monty python and the search for the holy grail when they attack the killer rabbit and realize how bad it is: run away!
run away!
you know, it also makes me think of paulo coelho and what it means to fight the good fight. how do you realize when to retreat? what does it take to realize that what you thought was the good fight is actually just stubbornness? honestly, how do you know what's worth it and what's not? what are we just supposed to witness and move on from and what do we fight to change? what really is the good fight? what's worth fighting for?
hmm, perhaps i should turn to jimmy eat world. i mean, if life is just plotted coincidences that we should take knowledge from, then alright. so here is goes (seventeen, btw, seventeen days, that is:
hang loose, my friend don't walk away from me,
cause i really think you're cool.
is it worth turning back despite these open hands?
you're tearing me apart.
so apropos. apropos de rien!
perhaps it's actually time to consult the runes. perhaps it's time to just let it all go. perhaps, perhaps.
a few very strange dreams. what does it mean to dream of being trained to be a prostitute? at a pool? in my dream i decided that going down to ft myers and walking around on the beach carefree in my bikini would be good practice for my future. yep. in the dream i also lied to my first "client." he was 20, so i said i was 17. yep.
i think maybe the saying i was 17 stems from a recent experience where everyone i met thought i was somewhere between the age of 18 and maybe 21 at the oldest. i guess maybe no one would think that someone my age would be experiencing what i am. or perhaps that it's just too juvenile of a thing to do/go through.
oh, also weird dreams of him (yep). i can't really remember them specifically, but once again in the dreams, i am confused and trying to make something of nothing, but knowing that it's not right. like that's not a fucking flashing neon sign. which for some reason reminds me of monty python and the search for the holy grail when they attack the killer rabbit and realize how bad it is: run away!
run away!
you know, it also makes me think of paulo coelho and what it means to fight the good fight. how do you realize when to retreat? what does it take to realize that what you thought was the good fight is actually just stubbornness? honestly, how do you know what's worth it and what's not? what are we just supposed to witness and move on from and what do we fight to change? what really is the good fight? what's worth fighting for?
hmm, perhaps i should turn to jimmy eat world. i mean, if life is just plotted coincidences that we should take knowledge from, then alright. so here is goes (seventeen, btw, seventeen days, that is:
hang loose, my friend don't walk away from me,
cause i really think you're cool.
is it worth turning back despite these open hands?
you're tearing me apart.
so apropos. apropos de rien!
perhaps it's actually time to consult the runes. perhaps it's time to just let it all go. perhaps, perhaps.