my life---wow
thats all i can say and this is both on a positive and negative note. everything that has happened as well as the many things that have been discovered has blown my mind. it has allowed me to take a step back and look at what i have been doing as well as what i have not been doing. i put zero blame on myself however. its a two way street. but surprisingly, im doing okay. im not upset sad or even mad. im content, possibly dazed, and even a little bit happy. i know how i feel and i know i dont want to rid myself of the feelings i possess, not yet anyway. there will be hard times but i take them with a grain of salt because in the end, i just want him to be happy. we dont make sense half of the time (this entry being one of them), and this includes the times we are in a fight, but the other half, everything comes together quite nicely. i just hope that everything is understood and he realizes that i do care a great deal for him as well as know that i will be here and not here for him. ive cried my last over this chapter of our relationship. im ready to laugh again...thats when its best, most fun, and most like us. thanks