Submitting to the emo wankery I despise
What's the point in 20 plus years of depression if I can't do anything with it? People i care about and cared about get sick and there's nothing I can do.
Depression is a selfish beast that makes the people it consumes selfish as well. Doesn't matter how much a person loves you, when you're depressed you can't think of anybody but yourself. You need to think only of yourself, I get that. Because your world is so f***ed up that you can't concentrate on anything else. All there is is the mess in your head.
And all the people around you can do is watch as you destroy yourself or survive.
I'm ending this journal. I won't delete it but I won't be posting here I don't think.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten better. Then I wouldn't care.
Depression is a selfish beast that makes the people it consumes selfish as well. Doesn't matter how much a person loves you, when you're depressed you can't think of anybody but yourself. You need to think only of yourself, I get that. Because your world is so f***ed up that you can't concentrate on anything else. All there is is the mess in your head.
And all the people around you can do is watch as you destroy yourself or survive.
I'm ending this journal. I won't delete it but I won't be posting here I don't think.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten better. Then I wouldn't care.