RP: It's almost seeing your soul for the first time/And watching the mirror show your life in rewind

[anon_james]

Date: January 30, 2003
Characters: James Potter & Sirius Black
Location: Sirius' residence
Status: Private
Summary: James has come to the one place he feels wanted after the cold shock waiting for him at home.
Complete: Complete

Comments

[anon_james]

"It was a surprise!" he snapped, perfectly willing to take out his anger on Sirius, seeing as Padfoot was the only other person around. "Generally, you don't tell people about the surprises you have planned for them."

Good thing for Sirius, though, when James finally did stop and take a punch, it wasn't at his best mate, but at the nearest wall. His fist slammed into the wall once, twice, three times and on a fourth time left a little blood on the surface. James didn't seem to notice any pain, though, as the only pain that mattered at the moment was the one within.

As he thought more about it, about Lily with Snivellus, and Snivellus making the moves on his wife, James began to separate and sort out the emotions that, when roiled inside him, made him cold. Separated and named, they had the opposite effect. He burned inside, with rage and with a deep emotional hurt the equivalent of a fatal and very painful snake bite. He'd never felt this way before, not once. He'd been angry before, and he'd had his feelings hurt... but this. This consumed him and made him feel like he would break open.

"Sirius, what do I do? What am I supposed to do?" The same question he'd been asking since he returned to his wife's anger, his son's hatred, only before he'd asked it in frustration. Now, he sounded heartbroken.

[anon_sirius]

Sirius hadn't been trying to invoke James's anger with his question, but he wasn't particularly surprised by it. There really wasn't much he could do to quell his temper at that point; if the drywall had to suffer for it, than so be it.

He wasn't sure how to help James. He wasn't an expert of marriage, not by a long stretch of the imagination, and he had no idea what James could or should do in this situation.

"I don't know," Sirius answered, before adding in an almost placating tone, "Just...there's nothing you can do right now. When she comes back, you can deal with it." Silently, Sirius hoped James wouldn't try to barge over to Snape's and do something drastic. That would only serve to make things a thousand times worse.

"Let me get you a drink," Sirius said, heading towards the kitchen. Even though alcohol was his crutch at even the best of times, Sirius was pretty damn sure James needed one right then.

[anon_james]

"If he does anything, I'll kill him," James muttered under his breath. At the moment, killing Snape seemed to be the best answer to his problem. Maybe Lily would hate him, but at least she wouldn't be with Snivellus, either. Snivellus wouldn't even be an option, then. Several fantasies of throttling the greasy git flashed through his mind, and while they weren't nearly as satisfying as the real thing would be, at least they calmed him somewhat.

One final punch at the wall, then James went to one of Sirius' chairs and flopped down to wait for Sirius' Solution to All Problems. He did need a drink, though. Getting him drunk would keep him at Sirius' and out of trouble, at least for the moment. A vague, stinging sensation in his hand made him look down at it with a confused frown. Oh. Right. The wall.

"Thanks," he said quietly as he waited.

[anon_sirius]

Sirius rummaged through his kitchen quickly, not taking long to find a few bottles of firewhiskey. Shutting his cabinet doors, bottles in hands, he muttered a charm to make them cold before heading back out to James.

He didn't know if Snape would try anything; Sirius wouldn't trust the git any farther than he could throw him under the best of circumstances. As for Lily...Sirius normally didn't think of her as the type, but when she was heading over to spend her birthday with a man who was infatuated with her when she had a husband back home...it didn't look good.

The worst of it was that James couldn't really do anything, not then. If he barged over there, it would only serve to anger Lily, no matter what the circumstances. Not to mention James would probably say and do some regrettable things to Snape if he went over.

It was probably best to just keep him at Sirius's flat for a bit.

He handed James one bottle as he reentered. "Here." He then grabbed a spot on his sofa, opening his own bottle and taking a sip. It was a night where alcohol was probably going to be necessary...well, more necessary than usual.

[anon_james]

Was it strange that most of his anger was directed toward Snivellus, not Lily? Oh, not that he wasn't angry with her. He was, but his anger was more like irritation that she'd made other plans, hadn't trusted him enough to remember her birthday on a year when he really needed to remember as many gift-giving occasions as possible, that she had probably been thinking idiot husband in his general direction all day. He was angry with her, but when he thought of Lily leaving him, mostly he felt hurt.

Snivellus, though, Snivellus would be like a predator moving in for the kill. Maybe Lily was upset because she thought her husband didn't remember her birthday--not that she'd said anything about it herself, mind--and Slytherin Snivellus would take advantage. He'd already taken advantage by inviting her to dinner. The git should know better, any decent person would have asked if maybe her husband might have plans. Snivellus probably planned to seduce her.

I hope she hexes his nose off. And some other parts, too.

Would she, though? It wasn't like she'd let James do more than maybe kiss her. Things at home had been as stiff as ever, and neither of them could hold out forever. Maybe tonight....

He grabbed the offered bottle from Sirius and as soon as he had it open he chugged about a third of it down. He didn't care for safety, or the burn of the Firewhiskey, or what he might do if he got too drunk to see straight or think about consequences. He didn't give a shit about much at the moment.

[anon_sirius]

Sirius had to admit that he felt some concern with how fast James was gulping down his firewhiskey. And if Sirius was concerned about how quickly you were drinking...well, James probably needed it. Sirius just hoped that the alcohol wouldn't serve to fuel his temper even further.

There wasn't really much Sirius could say right then, because words weren't going solve anything, especially not Sirius's words. This was something only James and Lily could sort out; for now, it was just a matter of waiting things out.

Maybe James just needed something to distract him? Sirius couldn't imagine anything off the top of his head that would work; he didn't dare suggest mischief, because he got the feeling the only mayhem James might enjoy then would involve hexing Snape. But he couldn't just let James stew in his anger all night. What to do, though...

[anon_james]

For a long time, James just sat there, brooding quietly to himself as though Sirius didn't even exist. He thought over many possilbe scenarios, and while a great many of them involved Snivellus in several pieces and Lily begging for forgiveness, not very many involved James himself getting his arse kicked by either Snape or Lily. Intellectually, he knew Lily could hex him from Annwn to Hong Kong if she felt like it, but his intellecutal functions weren't operating very efficiently.

The alcohol wasn't helping with that. At all.

At length, most of his fury satisfied in his violent fantasies and drowned by drink, James sighed and ran a hand over his face. The bottle was nearly gone, as any time he drank from it he drank several mouthfuls. "Do you think she'd really leave me?"

His voice was quiet, pensive, like a child lost in unfamiliar surroundings.

[anon_sirius]

Sirius looked at James, knowing that nothing he said could really help. James was hurt, and angry, and scared for his marriage. There wasn't much that Sirius could do except offer his place as a refuge and try to be reassuring.

"You're in a rough patch," Sirius said, careful with his words so he wouldn't be on the receiving end of James's fist once again. "But you and Lily have managed to get through all that crap in school and through fighting in a war and through death, and you've stayed together." With a sympathetic expression on his face, Sirius said, "It's been a tough few months, but you two have been through worse. And she loves you."

Hopefully, this was just a minor bump on the road to the recovery of James and Lily's marriage. Assuming nothing happened at Snape's, then they could work through it. Venice could wait for a little while.

[anon_james]

"Yeah. She loves me." He muttered the words under his breath, but then went silent. Honestly, he didn't feel like talking much anymore. He'd thought coming to Sirius would help, but in the end there really was no help for him except knowing where he stood with Lily.

He finished off the bottle Sirius had given him, and got up to get himself another one, knowing Sirius wouldn't mind.

Perhaps, though, drinking so fast and so much on an empty stomach wasn't such a great idea. James usually had a fairly big tolerance for liquor--not nearly as much as Sirius, of course, but not too shabby, either--but tonight there were simply too many factors. Two and a half bottles in, James passed out in his chair.

Well. It looked like he'd be spending the night, whether he'd planned to or not.

[anon_sirius]

Sirius simply let James knock himself out with the liquor, allowing him to partake in as much whiskey; he didn't mind sharing. Though, he did find it a little amusing that two and a half bottles was all it took to knock James out for the count. Sirius could drink that much and feel downright sprightly.

Once he had ascertained that James was really and truly passed out, Sirius fetched a spare blanket and draped it over his unconscious friend. After that, he wandered back to his kitchen. It was still fairly early in the evening, and Sirius hadn't eaten yet.

Fixing himself some food, Sirius's mind wandered. Hopefully Lily would be back from Snape's without anything ... unseemly having happened. She and James could work it out; maybe they could save Venice for another night, once their tempers were cooled off.

Sirius sighed. He felt bad for James, but there wasn't much to be done about it. Wait and see, that was all.