Reflective: Buildings with a hundred floors...
Date: March 25, 2003
Character(s): Cedric Diggory
Location: his place on paradise road
Status: Private
Summary: Cedric drinks Firewhiskey in the dark of his place as he thinks about Cho, change, his parents, and Penelope.
Completion: Complete
All the lights were off, dousing his place in darkness. It was a comforting darkness despite being unnatural for him to dwell in shadows.
Ever since his date with Cho, he felt different, almost hallow. The words he had spoken to Cho were all too true.
"I changed when I came back, Cho. I know I did. I feel it. I don't know how much I changed yet, but I do know that I changed."
He ever had felt different since coming through the door. His conversation with Harry should have been his first clue. He was different. He reacted differently. He felt differently.
All his and Cho's conversations came back to who they were at Hogwarts. She had changed, too. The change was in her stance and eyes. They were the same brown eyes they always were, but they held new experiences.
But he had been the one to follow her. The shadow she could never shake. He regretted that more than anything. No one should have been able to do that to a person, to change a person like that, to haunt a person. In all honesty, there were times that he felt like a ghost around her. He felt like she was only spending time with him and telling him she loved him was because still thought of Hogwarts, like she had to say that. He couldn't be certain that she did feel that way still.
Cedric looked down at his Firewhiskey and frowned. The burn was slow and painful as he drank, but it didn't stop him. In fact, in his state, it just encouraged him to keep drinking. Fred had said that Firewhiskey was used to get drunk off your ass, and Cedric wanted that tonight. He wanted to forget his worries and get over his confusion.
Back in school, things had been so easy. He asked her out. And then to the Yule Ball. He knew he had fallen in love with her that night. She looked like a goddess. But none of that mattered now. That was the past. That boy, and he had merely been a boy then, was dependent on his parents.
His heart twisted at the thought of his parents. Ever since the egg hunt where he experienced the memory of receiving his acceptance letter. Would they be proud of him? Did they still think of him? What had their life been like since his death? He was only half-glad that he hadn't seen them in Annwn. To him, it meant that they were both alive and hopefully happy. He missed his parents dearly. They had always been so proud of him, so accepting and loving. No one could have been better parents to him. But they were living their life... without him.
But what would come of him now? He had lost is family. He had lost his friends. He had lost his life.
Love shouldn't be this hard. Love shouldn't be full of confusion like it was. She was beautiful. Cho was undeniable gorgeous. She was lively and perfect, just like she was in school. But they weren't in school anymore. They were adults. They had both changed.
Her change had been a slow progress. It had been a cultivation of years of experiences. His change was abrupt. It happened the moment he walked through the door again to walk amongst the living and the formally dead. He couldn't get back to who he was. He knew that she was trying. She was trying hard, and so was he, but was it working? Was it worth it to keep trying?
Look at Penelope, she was such a brilliant and headstrong girl in school, but to be a courtesan now? What kind of woman had she become? She was a glorified prostitute no matter what she said. She said she was a mistress, but he was paying for her services. Cedric couldn't look down on her. She was his friend, and nothing she did or the choices she made would change that. But it was the nail in the coffin that they had all changed.
I need to get out before I break her heart and can't even be her friend, Cedric thought as he emptied his second Firewhiskey and opened a third.
The darkness was comforting. In the darkness, he could see the change. He could ignore it and try to pretend that everything was still okay. As he drank himself into a surefire hangover.
Character(s): Cedric Diggory
Location: his place on paradise road
Status: Private
Summary: Cedric drinks Firewhiskey in the dark of his place as he thinks about Cho, change, his parents, and Penelope.
Completion: Complete
All the lights were off, dousing his place in darkness. It was a comforting darkness despite being unnatural for him to dwell in shadows.
Ever since his date with Cho, he felt different, almost hallow. The words he had spoken to Cho were all too true.
"I changed when I came back, Cho. I know I did. I feel it. I don't know how much I changed yet, but I do know that I changed."
He ever had felt different since coming through the door. His conversation with Harry should have been his first clue. He was different. He reacted differently. He felt differently.
All his and Cho's conversations came back to who they were at Hogwarts. She had changed, too. The change was in her stance and eyes. They were the same brown eyes they always were, but they held new experiences.
But he had been the one to follow her. The shadow she could never shake. He regretted that more than anything. No one should have been able to do that to a person, to change a person like that, to haunt a person. In all honesty, there were times that he felt like a ghost around her. He felt like she was only spending time with him and telling him she loved him was because still thought of Hogwarts, like she had to say that. He couldn't be certain that she did feel that way still.
Cedric looked down at his Firewhiskey and frowned. The burn was slow and painful as he drank, but it didn't stop him. In fact, in his state, it just encouraged him to keep drinking. Fred had said that Firewhiskey was used to get drunk off your ass, and Cedric wanted that tonight. He wanted to forget his worries and get over his confusion.
Back in school, things had been so easy. He asked her out. And then to the Yule Ball. He knew he had fallen in love with her that night. She looked like a goddess. But none of that mattered now. That was the past. That boy, and he had merely been a boy then, was dependent on his parents.
His heart twisted at the thought of his parents. Ever since the egg hunt where he experienced the memory of receiving his acceptance letter. Would they be proud of him? Did they still think of him? What had their life been like since his death? He was only half-glad that he hadn't seen them in Annwn. To him, it meant that they were both alive and hopefully happy. He missed his parents dearly. They had always been so proud of him, so accepting and loving. No one could have been better parents to him. But they were living their life... without him.
But what would come of him now? He had lost is family. He had lost his friends. He had lost his life.
Love shouldn't be this hard. Love shouldn't be full of confusion like it was. She was beautiful. Cho was undeniable gorgeous. She was lively and perfect, just like she was in school. But they weren't in school anymore. They were adults. They had both changed.
Her change had been a slow progress. It had been a cultivation of years of experiences. His change was abrupt. It happened the moment he walked through the door again to walk amongst the living and the formally dead. He couldn't get back to who he was. He knew that she was trying. She was trying hard, and so was he, but was it working? Was it worth it to keep trying?
Look at Penelope, she was such a brilliant and headstrong girl in school, but to be a courtesan now? What kind of woman had she become? She was a glorified prostitute no matter what she said. She said she was a mistress, but he was paying for her services. Cedric couldn't look down on her. She was his friend, and nothing she did or the choices she made would change that. But it was the nail in the coffin that they had all changed.
I need to get out before I break her heart and can't even be her friend, Cedric thought as he emptied his second Firewhiskey and opened a third.
The darkness was comforting. In the darkness, he could see the change. He could ignore it and try to pretend that everything was still okay. As he drank himself into a surefire hangover.