Poetry

[annwfyn]

I take three breaths in
But nothing comes out, only
The loud rattle of my heart.
I can’t even scream.
I can hear the noise
Of someone. That isn’t me?
Is it? That weird banshee howl?
Fucking get a grip.
Silence. About time.
Remember the last time, bitch?
Want to lose it all again?
You are going to.
No one likes a freak;
old and fat, better off dead -
Slip sliding into the quiet.
No more trouble now.
And I’m so tired.
I can’t fight this fight again.
The illusion is fading.
I’ll be ash by dawn.

*

Now think of five things
That which cannot be taken
But instead sit at your core.
The candle inside.
First your mother’s note
Writ with morphine addled hand.
Never forget she loved you.
Remember her smile.
Next the daffodils.
Each and every spring they grew
In your grandmother’s garden.
Youth, love and new hope.
Thirdly, the mountains
That stood outside the classroom
And the light on your sari
Sally, you saw worlds.
Fourth, blossom falling
When you fell in love with Jez.
Nobody thought it would last
But you somehow knew.
Finally, the fox
Always with you on the road.
From beneath your skin he says
We’re not done just yet.