Thin privilege in LRP
Read a really interesting FB post by Ruth yesterday about thin privilege in LRP and it vaguely got me thinking.
In the last twenty years, I’ve LRPed, and I’ve also varied in size from a small size 12 to a size 18-20. I’ve wobbled up and down the weight scale too - I’ve gone from a size 16 to a size 12, and then back up to a size 14, down to a 12 and up again. I’ve LRPed at many sizes, and I’ve watched a lot of women LRP at many size.
What follows is a random list of Stuff That Happens if you’re thin and Stuff That Happens if you’re fat. The following are not hard and fast rules. #Notallthinpeople #notallLRPers. I also don’t really mean to make this a moral statement and I’ve not got a call to action.
This is just what I’ve perceived. You can add your own if you like. Or, I guess, you can tell me I’m definitely wrong and making it up and you’re sure this has never happened. That’s cool too.
Sally’s List of Thin Privilege:
1) When I am thin, I constantly have the option to get my own way by playing the Girl Card and flirting with someone in a position of power (who will normally be male). At size 12, this will work about 80% of the time. At size 16, this will work about 20% of the time, and will always also include a couple of guys in the corner sniggering about me. Yes, it will. I’ve heard you. I’ve also heard you snigger about other girls trying to play the seduction card while carrying more weight than they should. I’ve never heard you snigger about the 8 stone hottie in the leather bikini trying to get her own way by bending over.
2) When I am thin, I will get a lot more respect for my costume. In any system which offers prizes for ‘best costume’, I am more likely to win by being at the bottom end of the BMI scale and showing some skin, than I am by being overweight and wearing a hand embroidered replica of Marie Antoinette’s court dress, made from home woven cloth of gold with genuine laser canon mounted on my shoulder. Seriously. I’ve seen girls win prizes for wearing leather bikinis and body paint while standing next to people who look like they’ve been interning on a film set.
3) When I am thin, people will want to talk to me. When I am big, people are less keen. This is completely independent of what I have to say. At a size 12, people will make small talk with me about the weather. At a size 18, I better be able to make them laugh or they will zone out. 100% of the time.
4) When I am thin, if I get upset and angry about things, multiple people will scatter to make it better. When I am heavy, I am perceived as being ‘difficult’. Fat girls need to be cheery and have a great personality. Thin and pretty girls can be emotional and tempestuous. The thinner, the prettier and the younger, the more effective this is. Aged 18, and able to fit into a size 10, I could stamp my foot and scream, and someone would tell me I was in the right (I wasn’t. I was being difficult).
5) When I am thin, if I hurt myself on the field, or just can’t keep pace with everyone else, people are more sympathetic and tend to assume I’ve actually sprained my ankle/have a nasty cold/might need some support. When I am big, people are more likely to roll their eyes and get exasperated and write it off as a sign of my being unfit/not making the effort.
6) When I am thin, I am encouraged to participate in a wider range of role play options. Basically, in a really shallow way, everyone wants emoRP with pretty girls. The number drops rapidly when you get bigger. I mean, this is also a feature as well as a bug, as the number of guys wanting ‘special role play’ that they can think about when alone drops to almost non-existent, but I’m a lot more self-conscious about even suggesting it now. Also, I repeat the sniggering. Yes, I’ve heard you guys making comments about that girl chasing after the good looking guy’s character. I’ve also found that the thinner I get, the more people want background ties with me, of pretty much any nature. At a size 18, people will say “I met your character at a bus stop”. At a size 12, people will give me their dark secrets.
7) When I am thin, if I try and take command of a situation, people are more likely to view me as commanding, and react positively. When I am big, if I try and take command of a situation, people are more likely to use the word ‘bossy’. This word is pretty gendered anyway, but there’s a particular stereotype of a bossy mumsy type that gets attached to fat girls, in my experience. This isn’t universal, but I think the shift is about 60-70%.
8) When I am thin, I am more likely to get taken seriously, and to get a positive response from serious conversations. When I am bigger, people respond far more positively to me if I can make them laugh. The comedy fat girl is absolutely, in my experience, the stereotype people like and respond to.
9) When I am thin, it’s just easier to find costume than when I’m big, and they will almost definitely be cheaper. Except boots. When I’m thin I still have massive calves that don’t fit in normal boots, but that’s the horse riding. I have another list called ‘skinny leg privilege’ which starts with ‘you didn’t spend 10 hours per week wading through mud with a hay bale on your back to get those bloody legs in the first place’. But that is for another bitter day.
10) When I am thin, people will spontaneously give me stuff. When I am bigger, the freebies largely stop. And by ‘stuff’ I mean ‘some of my old kit’, ‘some plot you might be interested in’, ‘I can teach you this power’. And it isn’t that no one helps me when I’m bigger. It’s that there is a particular kind of totally spontaneous ‘generosity’ out of nowhere and with no reason which is largely only available to little pretty girls. Bigger girls, like guys, are expected to pay it back or contribute. Thin and pretty girls have paid their rent for occupying space by looking nice, and preferably providing the illusion of availability.
That’s my top ten, from the top of my head. Discuss!
In the last twenty years, I’ve LRPed, and I’ve also varied in size from a small size 12 to a size 18-20. I’ve wobbled up and down the weight scale too - I’ve gone from a size 16 to a size 12, and then back up to a size 14, down to a 12 and up again. I’ve LRPed at many sizes, and I’ve watched a lot of women LRP at many size.
What follows is a random list of Stuff That Happens if you’re thin and Stuff That Happens if you’re fat. The following are not hard and fast rules. #Notallthinpeople #notallLRPers. I also don’t really mean to make this a moral statement and I’ve not got a call to action.
This is just what I’ve perceived. You can add your own if you like. Or, I guess, you can tell me I’m definitely wrong and making it up and you’re sure this has never happened. That’s cool too.
Sally’s List of Thin Privilege:
1) When I am thin, I constantly have the option to get my own way by playing the Girl Card and flirting with someone in a position of power (who will normally be male). At size 12, this will work about 80% of the time. At size 16, this will work about 20% of the time, and will always also include a couple of guys in the corner sniggering about me. Yes, it will. I’ve heard you. I’ve also heard you snigger about other girls trying to play the seduction card while carrying more weight than they should. I’ve never heard you snigger about the 8 stone hottie in the leather bikini trying to get her own way by bending over.
2) When I am thin, I will get a lot more respect for my costume. In any system which offers prizes for ‘best costume’, I am more likely to win by being at the bottom end of the BMI scale and showing some skin, than I am by being overweight and wearing a hand embroidered replica of Marie Antoinette’s court dress, made from home woven cloth of gold with genuine laser canon mounted on my shoulder. Seriously. I’ve seen girls win prizes for wearing leather bikinis and body paint while standing next to people who look like they’ve been interning on a film set.
3) When I am thin, people will want to talk to me. When I am big, people are less keen. This is completely independent of what I have to say. At a size 12, people will make small talk with me about the weather. At a size 18, I better be able to make them laugh or they will zone out. 100% of the time.
4) When I am thin, if I get upset and angry about things, multiple people will scatter to make it better. When I am heavy, I am perceived as being ‘difficult’. Fat girls need to be cheery and have a great personality. Thin and pretty girls can be emotional and tempestuous. The thinner, the prettier and the younger, the more effective this is. Aged 18, and able to fit into a size 10, I could stamp my foot and scream, and someone would tell me I was in the right (I wasn’t. I was being difficult).
5) When I am thin, if I hurt myself on the field, or just can’t keep pace with everyone else, people are more sympathetic and tend to assume I’ve actually sprained my ankle/have a nasty cold/might need some support. When I am big, people are more likely to roll their eyes and get exasperated and write it off as a sign of my being unfit/not making the effort.
6) When I am thin, I am encouraged to participate in a wider range of role play options. Basically, in a really shallow way, everyone wants emoRP with pretty girls. The number drops rapidly when you get bigger. I mean, this is also a feature as well as a bug, as the number of guys wanting ‘special role play’ that they can think about when alone drops to almost non-existent, but I’m a lot more self-conscious about even suggesting it now. Also, I repeat the sniggering. Yes, I’ve heard you guys making comments about that girl chasing after the good looking guy’s character. I’ve also found that the thinner I get, the more people want background ties with me, of pretty much any nature. At a size 18, people will say “I met your character at a bus stop”. At a size 12, people will give me their dark secrets.
7) When I am thin, if I try and take command of a situation, people are more likely to view me as commanding, and react positively. When I am big, if I try and take command of a situation, people are more likely to use the word ‘bossy’. This word is pretty gendered anyway, but there’s a particular stereotype of a bossy mumsy type that gets attached to fat girls, in my experience. This isn’t universal, but I think the shift is about 60-70%.
8) When I am thin, I am more likely to get taken seriously, and to get a positive response from serious conversations. When I am bigger, people respond far more positively to me if I can make them laugh. The comedy fat girl is absolutely, in my experience, the stereotype people like and respond to.
9) When I am thin, it’s just easier to find costume than when I’m big, and they will almost definitely be cheaper. Except boots. When I’m thin I still have massive calves that don’t fit in normal boots, but that’s the horse riding. I have another list called ‘skinny leg privilege’ which starts with ‘you didn’t spend 10 hours per week wading through mud with a hay bale on your back to get those bloody legs in the first place’. But that is for another bitter day.
10) When I am thin, people will spontaneously give me stuff. When I am bigger, the freebies largely stop. And by ‘stuff’ I mean ‘some of my old kit’, ‘some plot you might be interested in’, ‘I can teach you this power’. And it isn’t that no one helps me when I’m bigger. It’s that there is a particular kind of totally spontaneous ‘generosity’ out of nowhere and with no reason which is largely only available to little pretty girls. Bigger girls, like guys, are expected to pay it back or contribute. Thin and pretty girls have paid their rent for occupying space by looking nice, and preferably providing the illusion of availability.
That’s my top ten, from the top of my head. Discuss!