Film reviews (with massive spoilers)

May 26, 2006 09:50

Taking away the historical nonsensicality of the entire film, I still found myself left with two queries.

First of all, why did the Catholic Church go to so much trouble?

At the end of the day, the Priory of Sion Super Sekrit Conspiracy had nothing. According to the film, the two things they were protecting was the body of Mary Magdalene, and her descendents. At the end it was stated that without the body of Mary Magdalene, there was no proof that French Bint had any particular significance.

So, that's the evidence they had.

In which case, why was the church fussed?

A mad group of cultists had a dead body dating back to the First Century AD. They had a living descendent of the aforementioned woman.

They did not have the body of Jesus. They had limited proof (as far as I could tell) that the body was Mary Magdalene, which (I believe) left them with absolute proof that some woman in the First Century AD had reproduced and now had living descendents. Last time I checked, this was extremely unlikely to shake the foundations of the Catholic Church. Even were they able to prove that the body they held was Mary Magdalene, they had no proof that any children she bore were those of Jesus. No proof that she was his wife, or any such theory.

So why waste your time killing people for all this, when you could just send out a disdainful press release to this effect?

Secondly, if you must start killing people to cover up this rather half arsed secret, surely you can find a better stealth assassin than a limping, albino monk, who insists on wearing his full monkly robes while sneaking around killing people.


    I mean, that's not that hard for the police to trace. I can just see the meeting now.

    "OK, men. We need to spread out, start looking for our guy. He shouldn't be too hard to spot. He's an albino monk, who will be dripping blood."

    "Pull the other one sarge. That's got to be a joke, right?"

    "No. It isn't. We're starting with the nearest monastery."


It really just made remarkably little sense.

X Men 3 was a rather better affair. Overall, I think I'm glad I saw it. I loved seeing Storm's character develop at last, and I really did think some of the CGI was incredible. It suffered in places, I felt, from the producers determinedly trying to shoe horn a lot in.

I kinda disliked what they did with the Phoenix Force. I liked the comic idea of the phoenix force as life incarnate - raw power possessing someone, amoral rather than evil. I wasn't so convinced with the 'very hard mutant with the split personality' explanation. It vaguely grated. I also winced slightly at what happened with Rogue. I guess it wasn't entirely out of character for her to want that cure, but it did feel odd that they let a character who was so strong and central to the first two films just fade into the background and end her story in that way.

things i have watched

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