How to have a badass Christmas
One time I decided to play basketball, but I suck at basketball so I lost. Just kidding, I kicked everyone's ass because I'm the best.
Before you know it Christmas will be here, and I will have to go and sit with my extended family for 89 hours and eat nasty ham and mediocre turkey. But Christmas doesn't always suck, and if my plan works I shall have a great Christmas. You see, I am going to set a bear trap for Jolly Ole' St. Nick. Then I will proceed to beat him with a sharpshooter shovel. Here is an artist's interpretation:
Then I would pull an Olympic White 1971 Gibson Flying V (with a locking Kahler tremelo of course) out of his magic bag of toys and proceed to rock while all the little kids in the world cry because they have no toys on Christmas. The End.
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I hope that everything that is fucking up in just about everyone that I know live's get better soon. All I can say is expose it for what it is, don't lie and don't get pregnant*.
I wish them all good luck.
(*advice I give EVERYONE)
Before you know it Christmas will be here, and I will have to go and sit with my extended family for 89 hours and eat nasty ham and mediocre turkey. But Christmas doesn't always suck, and if my plan works I shall have a great Christmas. You see, I am going to set a bear trap for Jolly Ole' St. Nick. Then I will proceed to beat him with a sharpshooter shovel. Here is an artist's interpretation:
Then I would pull an Olympic White 1971 Gibson Flying V (with a locking Kahler tremelo of course) out of his magic bag of toys and proceed to rock while all the little kids in the world cry because they have no toys on Christmas. The End.
____
I hope that everything that is fucking up in just about everyone that I know live's get better soon. All I can say is expose it for what it is, don't lie and don't get pregnant*.
I wish them all good luck.
(*advice I give EVERYONE)