basically, i would like to be killed please
So last night, I was gonna get dinner and buy groceries. No big thing.
First I get my prescription refill. Then I walk to the burger place and order dinner. I put my backpack down on a table, and notice that the bottom is damp. So is the back of my shirt, where the pack rested against it. I must've put it in something wet, I think. Maybe they'd just wiped the counter at the drug store.
Then I notice it smells kinda like vanilla hand sanitizer.
Then I pull out the clipboard with the printout of the story I'm beta-ing, and OH DEAR GOD I have just found out what happened to the pot of yogurt I thought I'd forgotten to pack that morning. Dinner goes cold while I try to get it off my hands and the ms and rescue my books.
I can no longer use my backpack, which is kind of a big deal in a town where public transport shuts down at 6:30.
I explain to a staff person that I need to leave my stuff there while I go up the block and get a 99-cent eco-bag from the drug store.
The drug store no longer has 99-cent eco-bags. "We gave them to charity last week."
"Do you have any tote bags at all?"
"They'd be right here if we did." There is nothing there.
"Well, balls." I am pretty sure I don't say this out loud.
I end up with a hideous Hallmark giant gift bag and hustle back down the hill.
I shift my stuff into the bag, finish my food, and walk to the grocery store. The staff keep subtly glancing into the giant gift bag (now in my cart) to make sure I'm not shoplifting hams. I am not, in fact, shoplifting hams. I don't get home until 9:00.
There are probably things more unpleasant that scooping lukewarm yogurt and detritus out of a backpack with your bare hand, but I don't really want to experience them.
I shove the backpack into the washing machine. I don't think that the leather straps or brass findings or the cardboard that shapes the bottom panel really enjoyed it much. But now it smells like Arm and Hammer Free instead of rancid vanilla dairy.
I really hope I get through the manuscript quickly. It's kinda stiff.
ETA:
Excerpt from a Google chat.
me: I had a tub of vanilla yogurt come open in my bag.
cybertardis: Ew ew ew. That's like having...OH GOD NO
me: Yes. Yes, it is. Yes.
cybertardis: *holds you*
First I get my prescription refill. Then I walk to the burger place and order dinner. I put my backpack down on a table, and notice that the bottom is damp. So is the back of my shirt, where the pack rested against it. I must've put it in something wet, I think. Maybe they'd just wiped the counter at the drug store.
Then I notice it smells kinda like vanilla hand sanitizer.
Then I pull out the clipboard with the printout of the story I'm beta-ing, and OH DEAR GOD I have just found out what happened to the pot of yogurt I thought I'd forgotten to pack that morning. Dinner goes cold while I try to get it off my hands and the ms and rescue my books.
I can no longer use my backpack, which is kind of a big deal in a town where public transport shuts down at 6:30.
I explain to a staff person that I need to leave my stuff there while I go up the block and get a 99-cent eco-bag from the drug store.
The drug store no longer has 99-cent eco-bags. "We gave them to charity last week."
"Do you have any tote bags at all?"
"They'd be right here if we did." There is nothing there.
"Well, balls." I am pretty sure I don't say this out loud.
I end up with a hideous Hallmark giant gift bag and hustle back down the hill.
I shift my stuff into the bag, finish my food, and walk to the grocery store. The staff keep subtly glancing into the giant gift bag (now in my cart) to make sure I'm not shoplifting hams. I am not, in fact, shoplifting hams. I don't get home until 9:00.
There are probably things more unpleasant that scooping lukewarm yogurt and detritus out of a backpack with your bare hand, but I don't really want to experience them.
I shove the backpack into the washing machine. I don't think that the leather straps or brass findings or the cardboard that shapes the bottom panel really enjoyed it much. But now it smells like Arm and Hammer Free instead of rancid vanilla dairy.
I really hope I get through the manuscript quickly. It's kinda stiff.
ETA:
Excerpt from a Google chat.
me: I had a tub of vanilla yogurt come open in my bag.
cybertardis: Ew ew ew. That's like having...OH GOD NO
me: Yes. Yes, it is. Yes.
cybertardis: *holds you*