Gossip Guys
Title: Gossip Guys
Author: salmiaggi
Rating: PG-13 (if even that)
Paring: Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso, a few others mentioned
Genre: A bit of fluff, a bit of angst, a bit of fun.
Summary: "You are fast and tough enough to beat Usain Bolt, baby, will you please, please tell me the juicy gossip now."
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Author’s Notes: Silly S/X dialogues continue... These keep getting sillier and sillier. ;P
Feedback: keeps me alive and writing.
"Baby, what's the matter?"
"I... I have some... news. I had to... run... here because... this... is... huge."
"Well, take a breather, lad, you sound a bit... Yeah, just calm down first."
"..."
"Xabs, aren't you supposed to be a professional footie player? Should I make you run some extra laps before and after training from now on? How can you be this out of breath?"
"Ha bloody ha, I'm no sprinter, and you know it."
"I do now. OUCH!" (Yelping.)
"You need to behave yourself or else I will not share this juicy bit of gossip with you after all."
"Okay, I am very sorry. Lo... siento? You are fast and tough enough to beat Usain Bolt, baby, will you please, please tell me the juicy gossip now."
"Well, you know Daniel?"
"Agger? Our centreback Daniel? The one with lots of tattoos and freckles? The one that flies to Germany every other day to get some Finnish cock shoved up his arse?"
"Subtle, Stevie, real subtle. But yes, that Daniel."
"I do happen to know him. But what's the news then? Oh, why do you always tease me so, Xabier?"
"It's too much fun." (Chuckling.)
"Xabi! Tell me already, will you? Is he leaving Liverpool? Or popping the question to Sami? (Gasping) NO! He's pregnant, isn't he?"
"Sometimes I wonder what on earth I am doing with a guy like you."
"I wonder that same thing too, but let's not get into that right now, okay? I need the gossip."
"He hooked up with Fernando."
"What?! What do you mean hooked up? And Fernando? As in our Fernando?"
"Yes! Our striker Nando! The nananananananana Fernando! The one with lots of tattoos and freckles! The one that flies to Spain every other day to get some Spanish cock shoved up his bum!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"And by hooked up you mean had sex, right?"
"Yes, Steven, what else could I possibly mean?"
"I don't know, sometimes you mess up your English a bit."
"Which I believe is not the point here."
"Oh. Right. You really are sure about this?"
"Yes. I got it straight from the donkey's mouth."
"Horse's mouth, love."
"Oh. Anyway, I can't believe he would do that to Sami. I just... it's just unbelievable. It's the same as... you sleeping with Nando."
"Which I still, by the way, cannot be accused of doing, no matter what your assumptions are."
"I know, but hypothetically speaking Daniel sleeping with Nando would be the same as you sleeping with Nando."
"So... Bad?"
"Steven!"
"Sorry. No need to get your knickers in a twist."
"..." (Grumping.)
"..." (Giggling.)
"Sami is too good a man to be treated this way."
"Too good a man? I think the only people who say things like that are you and the Queen."
"Hey don't you make fun of the Queen!"
"I was actually making fun of you."
"I know." (Laughing.)
"So, what do you intend to do about it? Tell Sami? The poor lad is going to be heartbroken."
"I know. But I'm not sure if I want to be the... Angel of Death here. Maybe Daniel confesses and then I can offer a shoulder to cry on."
"Maybe."
"..." (Thinking.)
"..." (Thinking.)
"You really haven't slept with Nando?"
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I-"
"Just checking." (Kissing.)
Author: salmiaggi
Rating: PG-13 (if even that)
Paring: Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso, a few others mentioned
Genre: A bit of fluff, a bit of angst, a bit of fun.
Summary: "You are fast and tough enough to beat Usain Bolt, baby, will you please, please tell me the juicy gossip now."
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Author’s Notes: Silly S/X dialogues continue... These keep getting sillier and sillier. ;P
Feedback: keeps me alive and writing.
"Baby, what's the matter?"
"I... I have some... news. I had to... run... here because... this... is... huge."
"Well, take a breather, lad, you sound a bit... Yeah, just calm down first."
"..."
"Xabs, aren't you supposed to be a professional footie player? Should I make you run some extra laps before and after training from now on? How can you be this out of breath?"
"Ha bloody ha, I'm no sprinter, and you know it."
"I do now. OUCH!" (Yelping.)
"You need to behave yourself or else I will not share this juicy bit of gossip with you after all."
"Okay, I am very sorry. Lo... siento? You are fast and tough enough to beat Usain Bolt, baby, will you please, please tell me the juicy gossip now."
"Well, you know Daniel?"
"Agger? Our centreback Daniel? The one with lots of tattoos and freckles? The one that flies to Germany every other day to get some Finnish cock shoved up his arse?"
"Subtle, Stevie, real subtle. But yes, that Daniel."
"I do happen to know him. But what's the news then? Oh, why do you always tease me so, Xabier?"
"It's too much fun." (Chuckling.)
"Xabi! Tell me already, will you? Is he leaving Liverpool? Or popping the question to Sami? (Gasping) NO! He's pregnant, isn't he?"
"Sometimes I wonder what on earth I am doing with a guy like you."
"I wonder that same thing too, but let's not get into that right now, okay? I need the gossip."
"He hooked up with Fernando."
"What?! What do you mean hooked up? And Fernando? As in our Fernando?"
"Yes! Our striker Nando! The nananananananana Fernando! The one with lots of tattoos and freckles! The one that flies to Spain every other day to get some Spanish cock shoved up his bum!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"And by hooked up you mean had sex, right?"
"Yes, Steven, what else could I possibly mean?"
"I don't know, sometimes you mess up your English a bit."
"Which I believe is not the point here."
"Oh. Right. You really are sure about this?"
"Yes. I got it straight from the donkey's mouth."
"Horse's mouth, love."
"Oh. Anyway, I can't believe he would do that to Sami. I just... it's just unbelievable. It's the same as... you sleeping with Nando."
"Which I still, by the way, cannot be accused of doing, no matter what your assumptions are."
"I know, but hypothetically speaking Daniel sleeping with Nando would be the same as you sleeping with Nando."
"So... Bad?"
"Steven!"
"Sorry. No need to get your knickers in a twist."
"..." (Grumping.)
"..." (Giggling.)
"Sami is too good a man to be treated this way."
"Too good a man? I think the only people who say things like that are you and the Queen."
"Hey don't you make fun of the Queen!"
"I was actually making fun of you."
"I know." (Laughing.)
"So, what do you intend to do about it? Tell Sami? The poor lad is going to be heartbroken."
"I know. But I'm not sure if I want to be the... Angel of Death here. Maybe Daniel confesses and then I can offer a shoulder to cry on."
"Maybe."
"..." (Thinking.)
"..." (Thinking.)
"You really haven't slept with Nando?"
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I-"
"Just checking." (Kissing.)