(no subject)
dear sweet jesus.
yall are together in a city that i love. and i am alone here being jilted by siuations with friends and boys before they even start.
I am here finding out the guy i was kinda seeing has a girlfriend. through facebook.
I am here watching people i want, be dazzled by girls whom cannot offer as much as me.
I am here being treated shitty by girls who dont know what it means to be loyal or a real fucking friend
I am here giving much more to these inconsiderate people than they deserve
I am here recieving nothing in return
I am here grasping at straws of people i know as they all filter and trickle out of town
I am here waiting every moment, praying, hoping, dreaming that my phone will buzz. just with an update text. but it doesnt
I am here wishing you guys had the urge to contact me. just to tell me about your day.
I am here being baffled by news and gossip that i am WAY behind in and not aware of
I am here going to school from 9am to 7pm tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, and saturday this week
I am here having not yet seen my brothers or heard happy birthday from then since we are all dispersed
I am here without my Evan who is so crucial to my new york life. and my life.
I am here having people judge me constantly. I am here being harrassed constantly.
I am here not being able to interest anyone in me in a romantic sense, or an intimate way. which i am starting to desperately need.
I am here being sexually frustrated
I am here working out daddy issues with degrading sexual acts. I am here being used by men that i know are lying to me.
I am here avoiding those obvious things with a flimsy denial
I am here working my ass off in something that can never perfect and never be good enough
I am here withholding feelings for those i can't have. but have to be with always.
I am here staring in the beautiful blue eyes of someone i could love so well
I am here hearing that boy say he loves me loves me loves me-- in a scene. not for real
I am here being rejected by things i wanted to stake my happiness on
I am here alone
I am here sleeping alone
I am here wearing my winter coat some mornings and evenings
I am here and broke
I am here missing you all desperately
and you are there
yall are together in a city that i love. and i am alone here being jilted by siuations with friends and boys before they even start.
I am here finding out the guy i was kinda seeing has a girlfriend. through facebook.
I am here watching people i want, be dazzled by girls whom cannot offer as much as me.
I am here being treated shitty by girls who dont know what it means to be loyal or a real fucking friend
I am here giving much more to these inconsiderate people than they deserve
I am here recieving nothing in return
I am here grasping at straws of people i know as they all filter and trickle out of town
I am here waiting every moment, praying, hoping, dreaming that my phone will buzz. just with an update text. but it doesnt
I am here wishing you guys had the urge to contact me. just to tell me about your day.
I am here being baffled by news and gossip that i am WAY behind in and not aware of
I am here going to school from 9am to 7pm tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, and saturday this week
I am here having not yet seen my brothers or heard happy birthday from then since we are all dispersed
I am here without my Evan who is so crucial to my new york life. and my life.
I am here having people judge me constantly. I am here being harrassed constantly.
I am here not being able to interest anyone in me in a romantic sense, or an intimate way. which i am starting to desperately need.
I am here being sexually frustrated
I am here working out daddy issues with degrading sexual acts. I am here being used by men that i know are lying to me.
I am here avoiding those obvious things with a flimsy denial
I am here working my ass off in something that can never perfect and never be good enough
I am here withholding feelings for those i can't have. but have to be with always.
I am here staring in the beautiful blue eyes of someone i could love so well
I am here hearing that boy say he loves me loves me loves me-- in a scene. not for real
I am here being rejected by things i wanted to stake my happiness on
I am here alone
I am here sleeping alone
I am here wearing my winter coat some mornings and evenings
I am here and broke
I am here missing you all desperately
and you are there