Inheritance, Chapter 12 (Jensen/Danneel/Jared, NC-17, WIP)
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Title: Inheritance (Chapter 12/?)
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Jensen/Danneel, Danneel/Jared, Jensen/Jared, Jensen/Danneel/Jared, Jared/OMCs, Jensen/OMCs, Osric Chau/Genevieve Cortese
Description: In a world where environmental disaster had created genetic abnormalities and mass infertility, Jensen and Danneel lived a modest life with no desire to have children by the only means available to them - a government allotted fertile breeder. When playboy millionaire Miles Padalecki died, Jensen and his wife Danneel were shocked to discover that they were named as heirs to the Padalecki mansion and most of his fortune. Nothing comes without a price though and they must decide whether it was worth harboring the dangerous secrets that were Miles's legacy.
Warnings: kid!fic, dystopia, het, slash, polyamory, self harm, past incest, graphic violence, dub- con, non-con, MPreg
Beta: Thanks go to fufaraw for making this better and being incredibly patient with my slow, slow progress. All mistakes are my own. This chapter's edits have been lost and redone too many times, so I am sure there will be typos lurking.
Disclaimer:This is fiction, pure fantasy folks. Nobody here belongs to me and they’re not likely to get in my van for candy any time soon.
***
If the mountain wouldn’t come to Muhammad, then Muhammad would have to go to the mountain. On Wednesday morning Jensen and Danneel knocked at the white door of Jared’s apartment at eight in the morning with an offering of fresh ground coffee and pastries.
Jared opened his door a fraction and peered around it with sleep mussed hair and a wary expression. He looked rumpled in an old tee shirt and his bare feet peeked from well-worn jeans. “Hi,” he said with a frown.
Jensen lifted the bags for him to see. “We thought we could have breakfast together and the other night you said you felt safer here, sooo...”
“Here we are,” finished Danneel.
Jared didn’t open the door any further, he ran a hand through his hair nervously, “We can’t do anything sexy, y’know. I have to look after Milly, we have activities, she needs structure.”
Jensen held his hand up, “Woah, that’s why we thought breakfast. A family breakfast, because we should spend some time doing ordinary stuff together.”
“If that’s okay with you,” added Danneel, “The coffee is the new blend at our shop. We thought you might like to try it.”
“Oh, right.” Jared reluctantly opened the door wide and stepped aside for them to enter. He blushed and looked at the floor, “We don’t do anything special. Um, we like to eat it watching TV. It’s kind of common but Milly likes it.”
Jensen grinned, “Oh my god, bring it on. Breakfast and cartoons is the best.”
“Sounds good,” reassured Danneel.
Jared relaxed and there was the hint of a smile.
The clunk of a toaster popping was closely followed by the sound of Milly clapping and yelling, “They’re done, Daddy! Daddee!”
They followed him into his modest kitchenette where Milly perched on a stool drinking orange juice and watching over a toaster. Beside it stood a catering size carton of Pop Tarts while a sweet-sickly smell gave away the presence of the ones in the toaster slots.
“Holy shit! You have Pop Tarts!” Jensen exclaimed, grabbing the large carton and holding it above his head, dodging Jared.
Jared giggled, and wrestled it from him, “Uh-no! Ssh! No, no. Sshh!”
“How come you get Pop Tarts?” complained Danni, “I could kill for one, but Chris would do his nut.”
Jared hid them behind his back, urging Milly to grab them and run away with them.“No Pop Tarts here,” he declared. Milly jumped up and down, squealed and giggled.
“Then you won’t mind me taking what’s in the toaster,” teased Jensen. They all rushed toward it with a laugh, but Jared got there first and juggled two in his hand, blowing on his fingers with the burn. “Milly’s,” he said seriously, through the laughter. He grabbed an apple from a fruit bowl, sliced it onto the plate with them and gave it to his daughter, “See, I’m not a terrible daddy, she gets fruit too.”
“Does Christian know?” wondered Jensen.
“Travis brings them,” grinned Jared.
“If you don’t toast us some, we’ll tell on you,” threatened Danneel.
“You low down dirty blackmailer,” joked Jared, but he grabbed a handful and set to cooking them.
They eventually settled on the floor of the small living room, leaning against the sofa where Jared and Milly sat, their plates balanced on their knees, and cups of coffee by their side. The television played some toddler show with bright costumes and loud tunes. It somehow felt more like home than anything had since the day they moved into Helix House.
It turned out that there was a routine; breakfast, walk Mumps in the garden, then lessons; kindergarten stuff with numbers and letters. After lunch was messy play. It was easy to lose themselves with Milly in pots of bright finger paints. Jared hovered behind them, biting back sarcastic advice and giving the occasional rolled eyes or pointed sigh. After a time Milly couldn’t help her yawns and she started to lose interest. It was then that Danneel suggested that she get cleaned up while the adults put the paints away and Jared couldn’t help his annoyance. He elbowed Danneel out of the way to contradict her.
“How will Milly learn like that?”
Milly started to walk away and he pulled her back by her hand, “Milly it’s tidy-up-time,” he said firmly.
“But she said…” Milly stamped her foot.
“She was wrong, and she has a name, Milly.”
“I wan’ go,” Milly wailed.
Jared glared at Danneel and Jensen tried to step in, “It was just this once, maybe we could…”
“See!” challenged Milly.
“We have a system, Princess. We can show Danneel and Jensen how fast we can clean up,” Jared tried to convince her.
Milly’s shoulders heaved and she started to cry in loud wails punctuated by long shuddering breaths, “I like them better!”
Jared’s cheeks colored. He pointed a finger to the door and spoke, quiet but tense, to Jensen and Danneel. “We’ve been managing perfectly well together until now. Get out!”
Milly threw herself to the floor dramatically, “I hate you, Daddy!”
“Milly, go and sit on the naughty seat until you’re ready to apologize and help me.”
“You don’t have to…” Jensen declared, looking down at the crying mess who was their daughter, “She’s…”
“Having a tantrum, and you’re not helping.” Jared picked Milly up and carried her to a small plastic seat. Milly fought him, but eventually sat, with her head bowed, refusing to look at her daddy.
Jensen spread his hands in surrender, “Jared…”
“It’s not the time. Go!” He was immovable.
“Danneel pressed her hand to the small of Jensen’s back. “He’s right. C’mon.”
***
Jared’s cheeks were flushed again when he came to find them in the kitchen later. His shoulders were hunched and his eyes were downcast, unable to meet theirs.
“We're going to take Mumps out to play, thought maybe you’d like to come.”
Jensen looked behind Jared but couldn’t see either Mumps or Milly.
“She’s putting her wellies on.” Jared chewed a fingernail in his mouth and mumbled through it, “M’sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. It was hard to step back. She’s my daughter.”
Jensen wanted to contradict him, she's our daughter, and his internal dialogue shocked him, because he was sure he wasn't the kind of person who believed the government rhetoric. He was grateful that Danneel didn't hesitate to reassure their husband.
“God, no, Jared! We should have listened to you straight away. We took over and we didn’t ask. We’re new to this, and you’re right, we shouldn’t have interfered. I’m sure Milly needs us to be consistent.”
Jared finally raised his face but didn’t hold their gaze. Jensen couldn’t help noticing that his bitten fingernails scratched viciously into the gauze of his wrist bandages.
“Are you okay, man?”
Jared shrugged it off, “Yeah.” He didn’t sound convincing.
The stomp of Milly’s boots and click of Mumps’s claws on the floor prevented any further query.
Milly stopped by the breakfast bar. She wrapped her arms around her body, glanced up at Jared, then stuck her thumb in her mouth.
He nodded at her and raised his eyebrows.
“M'sorry for having a tant’um,” she mumbled, without looking at them. Jensen couldn’t help making the comparison to Jared’s own body language.
Danneel knelt with her arms out, “Well, we’re sorry too, because we didn’t think about the way that you usually do things, but you must listen to your daddy. Having a tantrum is ugly and upsetting for everyone. Isn’t it Daddy?” She looked at Jared for confirmation.
Jared nodded sternly. Milly burst into tears again, and Danneel hugged her. Little fingers curled into the fabric of her sweater and a soft face buried into her neck.
“I don’t hate Daddy,” Milly confessed in a whisper.
Danneel whispered back, “Why don’t you tell him that?”
She sniffed and untangled herself to throw herself into Jared’s waiting arms. “I love you, Daddy,” she announced, “Do you still love me?”
“Of course I do, Princess. Not ever going to stop.”
She hung onto him like a monkey, and it looked so natural. “Now! We have something to show Danni and Jensen, don’t we, Milly?”
Milly’s tears dried. “My garden! My garden!” She bounced excitedly in his arms.
“You coming?” Jared led the way.
***
There was a riot of exotic color and heavy-hot air was infused with the scent of blossom. Somewhere in the corners of the vast glasshouse a bird trilled. Jensen and Jared sat with their shoulders pressed together on smooth, flat rocks around a trickling fountain which splashed into a lily pond creating circles on the water which expanded then faded, to be replaced by others. Jensen had seen something like it once before, as a child, at the botanic gardens. Of course that hadn't included a tire-swing or the climbing frame which Danni was currently exploring with Milly.
“Why haven’t we noticed this? I mean, it’s huge. It's a slice of paradise.”
Jared's fingers curled into Mumps's collar. “It's a prison yard, only Milly doesn't know it yet.”
Jensen protested, “Get real. It's nothing like it!”
Jared scowled at him. “Yeah, I’ve only lived here my whole life. How would I know?” He shifted slightly and there was distance and cool air between them. He changed the subject and pointed, “The only entrance from the house is down stairs from my apartment. It’s wide but not deep and it blends in with the rest of the house. It’s to do with light and shade, an optical illusion, like a false wall. There’s a door to the garden but it’s quite well hidden.”
Jensen nodded, he thought he could remember seeing it, “Where the trees form a canopy? It's clever. It looks like a staff door to the estate offices.”
“Sam maintains it on her own. Sometimes Milly and I will plant seeds or tidy up some of the flowerbeds. It’s still fun for her.”
“This is awesome, though. Where does the water come from? Do you filter it to stop contaminants getting concentrated in the pond.
Jared's answer was pissy and judgmental, “I can’t believe that you are so gullible that you haven’t wondered about our water. It comes from our spring which was never contaminated. It's filtered through hundreds of meters of volcanic rock, and protected from groundwater." Jared gave a cynical chuckle, “The glasshouse wasn’t built for me. Our water comes in through pipes under the soil in here. Dear Grandpa couldn’t risk common people finding out and wanting to share.”
Jensen took a moment to process the new information. Most of the population spent their lives drinking water with at least a low level of contamination. It was a reality that Jensen had stopped questioning as a child. It’s just the way things were. Of course, he should have realized that the Padaleckis were both rich and powerful enough to have a different reality. He looked again at the fountain, reached his hand into it so that it splashed clear and cool over his fingers. It was awesome.
“That’s even better. You were so lucky to grow up with this,” he enthused as he examined fat, round drops of water which trembled on his skin. “It's like a tropical island.”
“What if I wanted to climb mountains?” Jared replied quietly. He looked sad and awkward and Jensen wanted to hold his hand, or hug him, but Jared broke the moment with a loud whistle, and unfolded his long legs to stand up. Mumps whined and got up with him, “C'mon Milly! The dog needs a walk.” Jared hurried ahead of Jensen to catch up with Danneel and Milly and the glasshouse door swung shut in Jensen’s face as they exited. They didn’t seem to notice what had happened and Jared took Danneel's hand, and laughed loudly as they both played hide go seek with Milly under the trees.
Jensen lagged behind them. His pants were damp from sitting by the fountain and his hair flattened and stuck to his head. It was cold in the garden and he shivered. He threw a ball for Mumps and kept a distance from Jared and Danneel, feeling somehow further from them than the physical distance between them.
They ate supper together and Jensen ran a glass of water from the tap to drink with his. He marveled at it, still fascinated by this new privilege of clean water they had acquired. The evening news played as they ate. A B*Right demonstration in Washington had ended with five protesters dead, the price of maize had climbed to an all time high and a three-faced sheep had been born near the banks of the Ohio River. Jensen studied the stories intensely, as an excuse to avoid conversation.
Jared scraped his soup spoon obnoxiously loudly on his bowl. “Are you mad at me?” he asked Jensen.
“What? No!” denied Jensen, without looking up from his own soup.
Jared looked at Danneel, and she raised her eyebrows. He was damned if he was going to put up with Jensen's silent sulk when he hadn't done anything. In fact it was Jensen who had acted as if Jared should be grateful for a few meters of exotic gardens. How could he know anything about it? “Well, you're pissed about something, and I thought we were supposed to talk it out.”
Jensen shrugged, “I'm not,” he denied, mashing a piece of carrot with his spoon.
Jared licked his spoon clean and pointed it at Jensen, “It should be me who is upset. Our first night married you two crept off to fuck without me.” It was a suspicion he had harbored since Monday morning, when he had woken alone in his bed with old ghosts and poisonous thoughts crowding his mind.
Jensen and Danneel looked at each other and reddened. Jensen cleared his throat.
Jared's heart sank. He should have known he would never be good enough. “I knew it!” He wiped his lips with his napkin and pushed his chair back, ready to leave the room.
“It wasn't like that,” Danni protested.
“I get it. I do. I should stay in my place, be grateful for your help. I'm your breeder, a fuck on the side and you didn't choose me. I shouldn't make you feel guilty for my past or my present situation. I wasn't poor or beaten, I had money and clean water, I was privileged, and it's not like you're ugly or mean. You're always going to like each other more. Just don't pretend, okay? Don't pretend it's more.”
“You went back to your own bed,” Jensen pointed out.
“You didn't ask me not to.” Jared knew he was being petty but he was feeling oddly argumentative, and a little hurt. He wanted Jensen to hurt too. Circumstances meant Jensen had invaded his life, taken over his home, and stirred up his routines. He was there, looking over his shoulder, scrutinizing the way he led his life, able to dictate changes. He could get up and leave Jared at any time and, realistically, Jared couldn't follow.
“Would it have made a difference?” Jensen wanted to know.
“I don't want Milly waking up on her own,” admitted Jared before changing the subject, “And you are definitely in a mood about something.”
“I'm not, but you are. You can come to our bed any time. Milly's in the same house. There's a monitor. There are staff, for goodness sake.”
“Woah! Put it away, boys! ” Danni smacked her spoon noisily on the table in emphasis. “What is the matter with you?”
Jared pouted, he refrained from saying, “You two!” despite it being on the tip of his tongue.
Jensen startled and looked at Danneel. There was a steely look in her eyes that dared him to continue.
“Jensen, our bed is not nearly big enough for all of us and you have definitely been avoiding Jared this afternoon.” She next fixed Jared with her gaze and continued, “And you have seemed down all day. The question isn't so much why are you both unhappy, but what we can do to fix it? Because I am not playing pig in the middle forever.” She arched an eyebrow.
Jared and Jensen spoke together,
“I don't even know if Jared likes me. He snubs me constantly and makes it damn clear he wants you.”
“Jensen doesn't like me. He had a crush on Miles and I look like him. I’m good for sex, and don’t get me wrong, it’s good sex, I like it, but he never wanted to be stuck with someone like me.”
They looked at each other in surprise.
Jensen was quick to reply. He reached across the space between them and placed his hand over Jared's, and his words were heartfelt, “Yes, I had a crush on Miles but I like you so much, Jared. There's a physical similarity, and he was hot, but you are hotter. I didn’t ever want to speak badly of him in front of you, because we both loved him, but you are a better person. I would choose you. You're kinder and steadier than him, and well...somehow less cynical… and you do this thing where you flick your hair behind your ear...”
Jared unconsciously fingered his hair, brushing it behind his ear.
“See!” Jensen said, growling slightly.
Jared squirmed in his seat and shot a glance at Danneel before looking back at Jensen. There was some truth in Jensen's original statement, and after Jensen's latest reassurances, he couldn't help feeling guilty about it. Words tumbled from his lips,
“I don’t know, man. I want to make this work, I really do but I want to sabotage us too. It makes no sense. I make no sense. Every room, every inch of this place has memories. Sometimes it feels like the walls are closing in on me, and I can't get away. There are things about me you don’t know, things that make me unlovable and I remember you from before, Jensen; the parties, the way you treated people, and you don't seem the same now, but it's hard to see you differently. Danni has been sweet to me from the start, she is fresh and new and beautiful, and I have no reason to distrust her. I like you, Jensen. I want to trust you, but I can relax with Danni. I do want to be with her, alone sometimes, and we’re married, so if you can, then why is it wrong for me?” He chewed his ragged nails. “I would always ask your consent though. I know I can stop. I did stop .”
Danneel blushed and looked down at the table, studying the grain of the wood. The memory of what she had asked Jared to do, and his refusal, was uncomfortable for her.
Jensen listened but when he heard the last sentence, saw his wife's reaction, the rest of it was swept away on a tide of jealousy.
“What the hell? When?” he demanded to know. He could see Jared shrinking back from him and noticed the way his nails scraped the scars on his wrists, but he couldn't help his anger. “So, you only married us for Danneel?”
“No! I did it for Milly. It sounds worse than it is.”
Danneel stood and rounded the table to place her hand on Jensen's shoulder. “Jen, stop. It wasn't him, it was me, it was a silly moment before we got to know Jared properly.”
Jensen shook her hand from his shoulder, “So you decided to jump into bed with a stranger? I mean have you done that often? Why? When, Danni?” His anger was rapidly being replaced by a sickening sense of betrayal.
“No, of course not! Nothing happened.That's the point. You and I argued, and then you ran off. Remember- the night Mumps knocked you over? Jared and I … well, he was kind to me. We baked together. I was annoyed, unsettled by all the change, and he was there. I remembered all the times you cheated on me in the early days, and I wanted more. I was feeling lonely and bitter. But Jared wouldn't take it.” She rubbed Jensen’s shoulder, and he let her. “Even then, he decided that you had to consent - we had to be together on it. I'm glad, I would have regretted it. But I was so angry with you.”
Jensen looked at Jared for confirmation. His anger was cooling, but jealousy remained.
Jared was shaking. He felt as if he could fly apart at any moment, “Nothing happened,” he repeated Danneel’s words to Jensen. “If I had a choice, I wouldn't be a freak, and I wouldn't need you. I don't know if I would choose you, or Danneel, or both of you. Right now you're all I've got, and I want to make the most of it. Sex is easy, I don’t need love, or even trust for that. I simply don't know how to cope with how you feel.” He paused then, and pointed at Danneel, “How she feels.” He dropped his finger and moved toward the door. “And how that makes me feel. I don't want to split you up. I should go. Don't follow me, I don't feel like discussing it right now.”
“But we will talk about it - when we've cooled off. We will fix it, yeah?” Danneel called after him, desperate to hold on to the hope that they could still live up to the promises they had made to each other.
There was the faintest nod of Jared's head as he turned away and out of the room. She took it as a positive sign.
Jensen buried his head in his hands and groaned. “This is too difficult. I don't understand how my parents did it. I've never felt like this about you before. I don’t want to lose you, and sharing you with him - it feels like losing part of you. I never knew how it felt to be this jealous. I want to believe that you still love me, but after everything you said, I don't know how I'm going to trust you. Did I ever have all of you? I don't know how to get past this.”
If Danneel had been inclined to feel sorry for Jensen and continue to comfort him, his words tore her from complacency, and she was suddenly angry with him. “I’m not a dessert to eat whole or share! I can't believe you! Nothing happened! I have never been unfaithful because I know how it feels. ” She pounded her hand over her heart, “And nothing happened between me and the man who is our husband, but Jared is right, we should have included him, or at least asked him when we were intimate. He is justified in feeling betrayed about his own wedding night.”
“I can't help how I feel.” The retort was muffled against Jensen's arms.
She clenched her fists and her jaw clenched with them. “Well boohoo, Princess. Maybe now you know how it felt for me, back in the beginning - the lies about drugs and drink and whores.” She tipped her head to the side thoughtfully, “You know what? Back then, you would have fucked him in a moment, without a worry for me.”
Jensen lifted his head up and gave her a sour expression. “We promised that we had a blank slate - that you wouldn't use those times against me.”
She yelled then, a single tear tracking down her cheek, “But you would have fucked him, wouldn’t you?”
He huffed and looked at the floor, “This isn’t about me,” he replied with rancour.
She grabbed his chin in one hand and forced him to look at her, her voice dropped a notch but she was still shouting, “No. It’s about all of us, and if you could stop thinking of me as your property, if you could stop throwing your own guilt back at me, for just one minute, then maybe you could listen to what Jared said and to what I am saying. Maybe you could feel better, maybe we all could.”
Danneel sat down beside him and took his hand. She laughed nervously and it continued a little too long. Jensen looked thoroughly dejected and she felt her anger fading. She breathed deep and let it out slowly, then spoke, quiet but determined,
“I'm not using your past against you. I'm using it as an example for us. If we all decide that what we have is worth keeping, then we will do what we have done before. We will work at our relationship, and we will keep communicating, and keep reminding ourselves why we are doing it. This time it will include Jared, and we will make it good. Better, even.”
“That is some serious optimism,” Jensen muttered sarcastically.
She patted Jensen's hand and got up. “Decide if we're worth it, Jensen. I am going for a swim.”
She left him sitting alone, with his head still buried in his hands and his fingers tugging at his hair.
Much later, when the house was still and dark and Danneel pretended to sleep in their bed, Jensen crept into their room. “I'm sorry,” he said. “You're right, Jared and Milly are worth fighting for, you're worth fighting for, and I'm an idiot. I never thought about how much my actions hurt you. I never knew that the pain is almost physical. My father used to go on about proper marriage with my mom - he used to say there is no ownership, only partnership .”
Danneel stirred and turned on a lamp so she could see his expression. It was full of remorse.
“I don't think I understood it before, but I’m prepared to work on it.” Jensen continued.
“Good,” nodded Danneel, “Now come to bed.” She patted the space beside her.
“Just to sleep,” qualified Jensen. “Until we settle things with Jared.”
“There's a massive bed in one of the guest suites,” mumbled Danneel. “We should agree on a different room, closer to Jared and Milly, and use the big bed.”
“Yeah, we will,” Jensen agreed, “But what he said - about sex without trust - do you think he meant us? Do we need to fix that first?”
He stripped to his boxer briefs and climbed into bed with Danneel.
She cuddled into his side. “Probably,” she mumbled through a soft kiss to his shoulder, “It will take time rather than words.”
“And actions,” Jensen concurred, “But if we don’t know why he’s like he is, how can we know what to do?”
Danneel yawned, their argument had left her exhausted.“Listen and try, I guess.
Not for the first time, Jensen decided that he was an asshole, and he was beyond grateful that Danneel was prepared to fight for what they had. He felt her smooth skin against his and luxuriated in the sensation and the memories it sparked. He never wanted to lose her.
Jensen woke in the night, soaked in the cold sweat of a nightmare; of drowning in an orgy of bodies and drugs, of the gaze of a dozen pregnant whores whispering, “It’s yours.” He went to the bathroom to freshen up without looking up from the sink because he couldn’t bear to look at his reflection in the mirror. He studied the water instead -cold, clear, pure, safe.
Danneel was awake, propped on one elbow when he slipped back into bed, “You, okay?”
“Yeah,” Jensen reassured her, “Hey. Didn't Jared's dad die from a heart attack. I mean, it was the blight, right?"
"What? Why?" Danneel was adorably sleepy and confused by his question.
"Just. I don't know. It's weird, because they had safe water."
"S'pose it rains on everyone," yawned Danneel.
"S'pose it does," echoed Jensen. It wasn't something he needed to think too hard about. He remembered his nightmare, flung an arm around Danneel and spooned her close,
"Honey, do me a favor. Make sure any bed that we use has a new mattress. You don’t want to know…”
“Ssh. Of course. Go back to sleep.”
***
Jared’s sheets twisted around him as he tossed and turned. He fluffed up his pillows and flopped his head back onto them, sighed, reached for his clock to look at the time and sighed again, before getting out of bed and going to tuck Milly’s covers around her, and smooth her soft hair spilling over her pillow. She slept on, innocent and beautiful. He wandered into the bathroom and emptied the cabinet, selected a safety razor and took it back to his room, watched the green plastic twirl as he spun it around in his fingers. It was mesmerizing, irresistible.
He looked up before he unclipped its cover, a guilty check that Milly hadn’t woken and come looking for him, but he was alone. Beside the bed, his guitar shined in the lamplight and Jared stalled. He put the razor down and picked the guitar up, strummed a ‘D’ and it was rich and tuneful. He settled comfortably on his bed and strummed again, stuck his tongue between his teeth to deliver an imperfect verse of ‘Hey Jude’, and he could because Jensen had restrung Jared’s guitar, just as he had promised he would. Jensen, who had no reason to do anything but curse Jared, had done it anyway, without any motive or promise of reward. He had said he wanted to see Jared happy, maybe jam along with him. Imperfect, infuriating, gorgeous Jensen fucking Ackles had done that for him.
Jared threw the razor in the trash and concentrated on his fingering. He played ‘Hey Jude’ over and over, until the pads of his fingers developed a satisfying sting and he could no longer stay awake.
Chapter 13