Shattering Silence (Part 2 of 2)
Title: Shattering Silence (or, How Chad Knows Best)
Description: AU. NC-17. Alpha!Jensen and Omega!Jared. This is a timestamp for Christmas Tree, set in the au world of the Wolf Pass Pack.
Several months after Jensen brings his mate home to his pack, Jared is pregnant and he’s getting stronger every day. Everything should be just perfect, but Jared isn’t talking about his past and Jensen isn’t talking about the real reason he won’t have sex with his mate.They’re happy though, Jensen is content and looking forward to their first pup and Jared feels loved and happy, he keeps telling himself so. The rest of the pack think that their Alpha needs a reality check and Chad isn’t too shy to tell him.
Status: Complete.
Warnings: Explicit sexual content, a/b/o dynamics, mpreg, aftermath of past sexual and emotional abuse, schmoop
Pairings: Jensen/Jared, Chad/Milo, Katie/Steve
Beta: Thankyou to the marvellous sylsdarkplace for making this better. All mistakes remain my own.
Length: ~11,500 words
Disclaimer: This is fiction, pure fantasy folks. Nobody here belongs to me and they’re not likely to get in my van for candy a side of beef any time soon
***
“Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.”
***
<-- part one
It was late and Jensen hadn’t called. He usually made sure to talk to Jared as soon as he got back to his hotel room. He hadn’t said much about his trip during his calls. Instead, Jensen had wanted to know every detail of Jared’s day, how far he’d run as wolf, when he’d shifted, what he’d eaten. He sighed and tossed his phone onto the bed covers. Perhaps Jensen had found a suitable beta, was with them right now and that’s why he couldn’t call. He was about to go the bathroom to brush his teeth when the cell buzzed.
“Hey.” The voice was slurred, “I miss you, Baby.”
Jared felt his heart race. It was like this every time for him. The pain of separation was physical, like a leaden ache in his veins, but the moment he heard his mate’s voice, he felt a connection and there was a rush of sweet relief that infused his entire body.
“I miss you too.” He thought it sounded lame but it was the truth.
“I’ve been drinking and thinking. Do me a favor.”
“Anything.”
“I want you to sleep outside tonight. Under the stars. ”
“Uh. Now?”
“Now. Don’t worry about a coat or anything. Just … are you walking?”
“Yeah I got it.” Jared tucked the cell phone under his chin and unlatched the door.
“Is it cold?”
“A little, it’s fine though. Do I shut the door?”
“Yeah. Shut it and walk some, toward the trees. Is it wet?”
“There’s some mist. I’m fine. Where do you want me to lie down?”
There was a long silence with only the sound of breathing, and he sensed misery. Jared wondered what he’d done wrong.
“I want you to go back inside, get dry and go to bed Jared.”
“Jensen?”
“You would have done it wouldn’t you?”
“Of course,” Jared was confused but he continued as he was asked.
“I’m going to be late returning. I have something I need to do. Don’t shift, don’t do anything. We’ll talk and I promise I’ll try to get things right.”
“I know you will.” Jared spoke softly. He knew that Jensen was doing what he thought best for them all. The pressure of worrying had obviously driven him to drink. “You’re a maudlin drunk, you should sleep.”
“You too, warm and cosy. Not outside. Will you talk to me, until you sleep?”
“Hang on. I’ll put you on speaker.” Jared slipped off his damp pajamas. “Getting undressed now.”
There was a groan. “I like when you get naked.”
“I love to get naked for you. I like it when your skin touches mine in the night. It’s cool and smooth and firm.”
Jensen sounded surprised, “You’re just saying that.”
There was something instinctive welling up inside Jared. He could feel it bubbling up until it spilled the truth and passion. Jensen was his mate. Possession made him bold and he would stake his claim. “Is that what you want it to be? Why would I lie about it? You are like a wet dream for me. I never thought I would feel that way. All those years with him, I never imagined how much I could crave another. It makes me want to try things with you.” He took a deep breath, “Dirty, bad, wrong things.”
“Jesus Jared!” Jensen moaned. “Are you in bed now?”
“The sheets are cool against my bare butt. I’m lying on my back without a comforter or sheet, and I can smell your scent all around me on the bedding and the pillows. How about you?”
“Yeah, just boxers. Sheets smell of soap, wish it smelled of you. I bet your nipples are standing up all firm and pink. I love when they do that.”
Jared settled on the mattress. If Jensen couldn’t bring himself to touch his damaged, pregnant mate then at least they could have this. He had been on the internet. He could guess how phone sex went, and with Jensen, it seemed a hot concept. All gain without pain.
“I’m going to touch them, with my fingertips.” Jared put his fingers in his mouth and sucked, obscenely loud. “Gonna make them wet and pretend it’s your tongue licking at them. I want to have a hand on your head, sliding through your hair and you can feel me against your stomach. I’m so hard, need to rub against you, make a trail of wet precum on you.”
“Damn. You make me want to touch myself. Where are your hands now? Lick your palms, make them wet. I want you to get off at the same time.” Jensen’s breath was starting to quicken as Jared made sure to lick and slurp close to the phone.
“I’m gonna lick your cock like a lollipop, Jen. Bet it tastes good. My tongue can get you wet all over and then my mouth will open up to take you in and close with wet hot suction around you. Gonna rub my lips on you, take you all in and suck hard.” His own hand was grasped around his erection, stroking firmly from tip to balls and back, repeating firmer and faster. He dipped his thumb in to his slit to collect the oozing fluid and add it to the slick of saliva that he was circling the purpling head with.
“I can hear you Jared. I can almost reach out and touch you. Put my hands around you and caress you, stroke your balls and lick your neck, suck your nipples into my mouth. You’ll be hot and sweaty and needy for my fingers on your dick. Feels amazing. Want it to be amazing for you too, Baby.”
“It is.” Jared was panting, his hand was picking up pace.
“Stroke your cock for me, squeeze it. Would love to see it. Want it to be my hand wrapped around you when you come.”
Jared’s balls were pulling up and he was letting go, giving in to sensation. His mouth gaped open, drooling and his human was losing control. It had been so long, he was heady with a dizzy slip slide of raw emotion. His lips moved and his brain no longer controlled the throaty whimpers and groans and the words that burst forth. “Want you to fuck me, want you to make me come, Jensen”
“Oh God. Jare. Want that. Want you all around me. Deep in you.” Jensen’s words were becoming stilted and ragged until it was only the sound of panting and a drawn out grunt and moan that Jared could hear, then a single, broken word, “Ja-r-ed.”
Jared’s world stopped for a moment. Technicolor image, the erotic sounds of his mate and a memory of sparkling green eyes mixed with liquid heat through his veins and the wet splash of come on his fingers and belly. “Aah,ah, hnng, m, Jen.”
“Mmm.” Jensen sounded content and sleepy, “You still there?”
“Mmhmm.” He reached to the nightstand and grabbed some tissues. He wiped the stickiness from his fingers and his stomach and fell back into the luxury of the pillows. His hand reached to automatically pull the comforter up to his shoulders.
“That was. Wow. Pfft. Thanks.” Jensen was happy again, Jared could tell.
“Mmnm.” The omega snuggled into the soft mattress and curled his fingers around the phone. It was the closest he could get to Jensen.
“Switch off the phone and go to sleep Jared. I love you.”
“M’luvu too. G’nigh.” Jared didn’t press the off switch until the line went dead. Then he gave in to exhaustion and slept.
***
Jensen sipped coffee and looked over the rim of his cup at the dishevelled teacher who sat opposite him in the bustling canteen of a city school.
“ … it must be, oh, five years since Jared attended this school and he was what? Fourteen or fifteen years old?”
“Fifteen, “clarified Jensen.
“Can I ask what your interest is, Mr. Ackles?”
“Alpha Ackles.” The Were corrected the teacher.
“Oh, Alpha Morgan didn’t tell me that. Now, I am curious. What would the wolf community want with Jared?”
“He is Were. He has recently become a member of my pack.”
Mr. Williams placed his cup on the table and looked at Jensen with a frown. “You have the wrong Jared. Jared Padalecki is human.”
“He would have appeared human. There were reasons for it, not all good.” The teacher was still looking doubtful but Jensen continued without pause, “When he left here his life didn’t go well. I won’t get into details. He’s become an important part of me, of our community.” Jensen’s gaze softened and his voice faltered. “He needs help to get past what has happened to him. I think I need to know the real Jared before I can give that. What he was, here at this school, is an important part of what he is now but his history makes him reluctant to speak about it.”
The teacher cleared his throat before he spoke, “His parents died in a car crash, I remember that. If he is a wolf, then surely he returned to his Pack?”
“His parents were his pack. He was orphaned.”
Mr. Williams tutted. “That is so very wrong. Jared should have been able to come to me. A wolf shouldn’t be alone, especially not at such a time. I can see why Jeff wanted me to talk with you.”
Jensen was surprised at the heartfelt comment.
The man smiled at his reaction. “Jeff didn’t tell you that I’m the coordinator for the Human-Wolf Alliance in this area? I wish I’d known about Jared. We would have encouraged him to join our activities.” It was spoken with genuine regret.
Two hours later, Jensen had seen the school where his mate had been a popular goofball student with a brilliant future. He knew that Jared was a bit of a nerd with science fair wins and debating awards, and he had been able to talk anyone’s ear off about old sci-fi shows. Mr. Williams drove him around the block and showed him the prim apartment complex where Jared had grown up and the parks where he had played as a child.
***
Jensen called at lunch time to tell the pack that he was on his way home and asked if somebody could clear out the junk from the small spare room, to make it habitable. Chad and Chris looked horrified and automatically found an assortment of increasingly unbelievable excuses. Gen slapped Chris and called him lazy and Katie agreed but then declared that they would make a terrible mess of the task anyway. “Who needs to have bright lime cushions with orange curtains anyway?” she declared, glaring at her mate, Steve, who shrugged and said, “I liked it.”
If Jared felt as though his soul was shattering, he knew he couldn’t show it. He spoke up, through their discussion, “I’m the only one who doesn’t have to work today. I can do it. I promise not to use clashing colors.”
Chad and Steve were quick to protest that Jared was pregnant and couldn’t move any boxes or furniture. In the end everyone except Jared worked to clear the room, and Jared promised to clean and brighten it.
Genevieve stared at him for a few moments, as if she could sense something awry in his mood. “Do you feel well enough? You look pale,” she said, eventually.
“I need something to take my mind off things. I’m used to this.” Jared didn’t need to lie.
Genevieve continued to study him with soft brown eyes, “I could help. We could have some omega time.”
“You have to be at the library. I’m fine. I like to make places cosy. You know that.”
“You are always nesting, I’m not sure if it’s because you’re pregnant or if it’s just you.” agreed Katie.
Chad groaned, “It’s just him. He was at it in the cabins before he and Jensen ever got together. Between Milo’s cookies and Jared’s home comforts we are doomed to be the most domesticated pack ever. Beware the Wolf Pass Pack! Their enemies are captured, forced onto ‘the comfy chair’ and subjected to the slow torture of tooth rot.”
Steve kicked him. “Speak for yourself. We’re badass, dude.”
Soon enough it was just Gen and Jared left in the house. The petite brunette slipped a coat around her shoulders and rearranged her hair over her collar. “You know where to find everything, don’t you?” she asked. She seemed reluctant to leave him alone.
“I’ve got it. I’ll call if I need anything.” Jared pasted a fake smile on his face.
Gen raised her eyebrows and tilted her head, “He’ll be home before you know it,” she said kindly and reached a dainty hand to rub at his arm. “If you want to talk about anything, you can call and I’ll come back. Milo will be here soon. He’s a great listener.”
“How hard can it be to clean a room?”
“Anything, Jared.” Genevieve repeated as she waved goodbye.
***
Jared looked Jensen’s bedroom over once more. There were spring flowers cascading prettily from a glass vase and he had used silver voile over the window and pastel bedding to give a less masculine feel to the room.
He placed vanilla scented candles on the dressing table and looked about satisfied with his creation as he closed his door on the way out.
According to ‘Brody’s Pack Life’, a beta should be brought into a mated alpha/omega relationship before or early into the omega’s first pregnancy, to take on pack duties and allow the omega to nest. During pregnancy they can feel vulnerable and are easily intimidated by the omega. Many feel victimized or are jealous of the mated partner. Jared had read through the chapter on the interactions of a three way relationship and the importance of the omega’s acceptance. He loved Jensen, he could do this.
It was only when he shut the door on his new room with its single bed and his belongings ready to be moved into the wardrobe, that Jared felt the finality of it. Alone in the house and lonelier than he’d been since leaving the city, he sank onto the smooth wooden floor and broke down. Once the floodgates were opened there was no stopping, the sobs came heavy with his chest heaving and salt water puffing his eyes and reddening his nose. He thumped the mattress of the bed and stamped on the floor. “It’s not fair,” he yelled, until his voice was hoarse. Finally he sank to the floor, hiccupped and rubbed a hand over his belly, “Sorry,” he whispered to his unborn pup.
***
“Jared. Jared. Hey.” Someone was shaking Jared and he startled as he woke. His mouth was dry and his eyes were puffy and sore. His head was pounding with the beat of a thousand drums and a sharp pain behind his eyes. He remembered breaking down. He must have slept on the small, practical bed, cried out and alone.
“Jared. What happened? Shall I call for the vet?” Milo’s voice was high with a touch of panic.
“No,” he groaned, “It’s just a headache.”
“Jared, you look like shit. It can’t just be a headache. You should get your blood pressure checked.”
He sat up slowly, wincing at the light. “Really, I just got tired.” Jared tried to avoid the tremble in his voice but it wavered anyway and he felt a fresh tear from the humiliation of being found like this.
“Hey.” Milo was beside him in a flash, “You’ve been crying.”
Jared sniffed back fresh tears. “Just hormones,” he protested.
Milo pulled the larger man in for a hug and there was no protest from Jared. It was reassuring and secure, “There’s a lot more than hormones here. It’s been a long time coming but you need to get some of this out of your system. Real Weres do cry y’know,” he gave a thin smile and rubbed Jared’s back. “Now, do you want to explain why all of your clothes are missing from your bedroom and are piled ready to go in this wardrobe?”
“I wanted Jensen to know I understand but I don’t, not really. I wanted to be enough. Just me.”
“What are you talking about? You are enough. You guys are perfect together.”
“I know.” Jared wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “That’s what makes it so stupid. I’m a good home-maker, and he’ll be a great father. It will work out. It does for thousands of Were families. I’m just selfish. Jensen deserves a strong intelligent beta by his side.”
Milo was lost. “What beta, Jared?”
“You don’t all have to pretend, I know I’m not good enough to be Pack Beta and I’m sure there are lots of betas who want to be his. He asked us to make the room ready. I shouldn’t have presumed I belonged in his bedroom all this time. I should have taken a hint, and I shouldn’t be crying over it.”
Milo rolled his eyes and smoothed his shoulder. “You have got a bad dose of the hormones, haven’t you? It’s the only explanation why your instincts have turned to mush.”
Jared sniffed and stared at his hands dolefully.
“Your bedroom looks wonderful Jared, you outdid yourself, and I’m hoping that you like it, because we’ve got about an hour to switch your belongings back and cheer this space up. We’ll do it.”
“That’s not fair to Jensen.”
“Did Jensen say he wanted you to move out? No, he didn’t. He should have explained why he didn’t take you, and he certainly isn’t looking for a beta. He loves you. Anyone can tell that he hasn’t eyes for anyone else.”
Jared’s gaze cast downwards and he gulped a breath, “I know he cares and he loves our pup, but you don’t need to pretend he finds me attractive or that I’m clever enough to be Pack Beta. I know I’m damaged. Nobody would want second hand goods. You’re all kind to me and I’m happy, really I am, so there’s no need to lie.”
Milo narrowed his eyes and sighed, “Oh I have some choice words to say to our Alpha when he gets home.” He put his hands on Jared’s shoulders and looked him in the face, “You are not second hand goods, you are not less than anyone here, and Jensen looks at you like the sun rises with you. Now, grab these clothes and put them back in your closet in your room with Jensen.”
Within an hour Milo and Jared had dusted and vacuumed and hung colourful curtains in the small room. It took Jared by surprise when he heard the squeal of brakes but his feet moved without conscious thought and, in a moment he was running to greet Jensen. Jensen had barely clambered out of the car when Jared flung himself at him, and his Alpha opened his arms wide to catch him and squeeze him into a tight hug. Jared buried his face into Jensen’s shoulder and inhaled him as a strong hand rubbed at his back and another smoothed his shoulder. “Missed you,” he murmured as his arms wrapped around Jensen’s waist and gripped him close, unwilling to let him go.
Jensen gripped him tight in a one armed hug, ran his fingers into his hair and caressed the back of his neck. “Missed you so bad, Jared.” His other hand gripped a case and he placed it carefully on the floor by his feet, to put his other arm around Jared’s waist and pull him close. “I have some things for you. Bedroom, now!” he whispered playfully in Jared’s ear. He untangled his arm to pick up the case and guided Jared to the stairs. Behind them, Katie cleared her throat and asked, “Anything we can do, Boss?”
“You can bring in the boxes that are in the truck and, oh, there’s a pack meeting, eight o’clock. Everybody to be there. No excuses.”
Jared was overwhelmed by the scent and presence of Jensen, every part of him sparked and thrummed. As soon as Jensen dropped his case by the bedroom door his fingers gripped his alpha’s waistband and he tugged him to the bed. There was no resistance to his rebellious act and Jensen bounced down into the soft mattress with him.
“You really missed me, huh?” teased Jensen, but he wasn’t speaking for long. Wide pink lips pressed hard against his own begging access for Jared’s insistent tongue. Jensen gave a deep throaty whine and submitted to it. Jared’s hands gripped his hips and pulled him close. Jensen loosely wrapped his arm around Jared’s neck and they fitted together perfectly, no air between them. They kissed until they were dizzy and Jared was moaning and flushed. There were no thoughts other than ‘Jensen’ and ‘Alpha’.
“I want …” Jared couldn’t articulate all the words but his body was clear. His hips pushed forward and his hard-on was tenting his trousers. He rubbed himself, hard and needy, against Jensen.
Jensen’s green eyes snapped open and a hand pushed at Jared’s chest. “The pup,” he said as he rolled away.
Jared stilled before scrambling to put distance between them. He looked up at Jensen, with shame and fear obvious in his eyes, “S s sorry, Alpha.”
Jensen was sickened by his own action, he rubbed a hand through his hair and reached out to grab Jared, but Jared shied away. “It’s not what I meant, Jared. C’mere, please.”
Jared tipped his head, baring his neck, “I shouldn’t have.”
“Of course you should. It’s me. It’s just me.” Jensen admitted in a whisper. “I’m getting it wrong, messing up. I do want to check with our vet before we knot again, but the rest I want with you, I really do. I’m finding it difficult, and it isn’t anything you’ve done. We should have talked about it long before now. I’ve been a coward because it’s easier not to think about it.” He patted the bed next to him and Jared sat.
Jared looked at his alpha with concern and put a hand on Jensen’s knee reassuringly.
“Then what? I know I’m damaged, but I can please you. Last night, on the phone, you seemed to want it too.” His eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“You overheard me? It was you in the hallway before I went away, wasn’t it?” Jensen looked at him and shook his head, he didn’t need an answer. “I didn’t mean damaged like that, and it isn’t about you pleasing me. We’re in this relationship together. It’s about enjoying this together. You’re perfect for me! Do you understand me?” Jensen sighed. “I want you. Only you, and just as you are, Jared.”
“You could have a beta. I wouldn’t mind.” Jared spoke confidently but he swallowed hard after speaking. Inside he was quaking.
Jensen looked searchingly at his mate, “Do you want that? Because I don’t.”
Jared shook his head and gave a small grin with his relief, “No, I don’t.”
Jensen took a moment to compose his thoughts before he spoke again. “When we’re together, I can’t imagine why you would want to be intimate with me. I see you and in my mind I see him, how I imagine him to be, and I see the things he did to you.” Jensen couldn’t bring himself to refer to Jared’s abuser as his alpha. The bastard hadn’t earned the title. “I can’t get him out of my head and I worry about what you feel when I touch you. I don’t want to violate you. I can’t be the one who makes you remember things you should never have been forced to do.”
Fingers caressed Jensen’s thigh and Jared leaned over to kiss the side of his alpha’s mouth gently, “You make me forget him. Each time you speak to me, his growl becomes quieter. Every time you look at me, his image fades a bit more. Every time you touch me it erases another of his fingerprints.” Jared’s whole body trembled as he spoke, “I want you to touch me everywhere, to make it all fade away.”
Jensen reached a hand to cup Jared’s chin. He smoothed his fingers over the strong jaw-line and up to his cheek, over the crease where his dimple showed when he smiled. “I love you, Jared.” His other hand trailed fingers over Jared’s shirt, unbuttoning it slowly and slipping his hand between the cotton fabric and the smooth skin. “Like this?” he asked, as his fingers rubbed an erect nipple.
Jared gasped, and arched into his touch.
Jensen slid Jared’s shirt off his shoulders and dipped in to lick a trail with his tongue, over the nipple and down, to the cut of Jared’s hipbones, where he nipped a bruise and worried at it. “And this?”
“Ohh. Oh yeah.” Jared groaned and reached hands to touch Jensen. Jensen caught them in his own, held and squeezed them affectionately.
“ No, Ssh. This time, let me do this for you.”
Jared’s cock strained at his pants, tenting them and spotting them with wet stain. Jensen grinned and hooked a finger into his belt, tugging his omega forward to sit at the edge of the bed. Jared’s eyes became as wide as saucers when Jensen slid to kneel on the floor between his legs. Soft, firm fingers caressed the fabric of his pants between his thighs before splaying his legs wide with firm pressure. Suddenly, his alpha was kneeling between his legs, looking up into his face with his green eyes blown black with lust and plump lips, pink and bitten, “How about this baby boy?” Jensen growled sexily as he leaned to take Jared’s zipper between his teeth and pull it down slowly, metal tooth by metal tooth.
“Shit! Jen. He never did this. Only you. Yes. Please. I can’t. Oh fuck. Hurry up.” Jared whimpered, he bit his lip and dug his fingers into the bed covers, pulling uselessly at them.
Jensen chuckled and loosened Jared’s belt. He was going to make his first blow job good for him. He was determined not to let anything come between them any more, Jared deserved more than that. He unbuttoned his fly and pulled the zipper the rest of the way down, releasing Jared’s cock to curl proudly up to his belly. “Going commando, baby? I could get used to that,” he commented. He reached a hand to cup Jared’s balls and roll them in his hand and Jared ground his hips into the movement.
“Jeez. Hnng. Please.”
“Something like this, then?” His tongue poked from between his lips and he licked a stripe from the base of Jared’s cock, to the rounded red tip.
“Uhm, huh, yeah. Stop …” Jared panted as he snapped his hips up.
Jensen pulled back onto his heels in an instant and dropped his hands to his side, his panic obvious. “Too much? It’s okay …”
Jared managed a breathy laugh, before grasping Jensen’s hair and pulling him back into the vee of his legs, “Ssstop teasing me.”
Jensen gave a filthy grin and winked up at Jared before opening his lips wide and engulfing the head of his cock in the wet warmth of his mouth. He licked a circle around it and tongued at the pearl of precum on the tip before hollowing his cheeks and suckling noisily and enthusiastically. Jared squirmed and babbled and pushed eagerly into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen grasped one hand around the base of Jared’s dick to prevent choking and slid his lips up and down and around the girth of it in a deliciously tormenting slow rhythm. His other hand reached inside his pants to palm at his own keen erection but he hid that from view. This wasn’t about him. It was about his omega, and Jared was beautiful like this, coming apart for him, his body arched into Jensen’s touch, his eyes lust-glazed and his cheeks flushed red. Hair clung to his face and neck, sweat-damp and mussed, and his fingers kneaded into the bedding in time with the snap of his hips. Filthy, dirty words and noises streamed from slightly parted lips. Beads of sweat gathered and ran trails from his neck and over his chest.
He was Jensen’s, this was only for him and the pride made his heart want to burst with passion. Fuck, but Jared was the hottest omega, ever. Jensen hadn’t cum so quick in his own hand since he was a teenager but he didn’t care. He sucked Jared down one more time with the softest trail of slick lips and a resonant hum, and his omega was laughing and screaming, noisy and sexy and coming with a warm rush of salty fluid down Jensen’s throat, and he was swallowing it all, savoring it and licking the last drops from him.
Jared collapsed back onto the bed with a bounce and Jensen crawled up beside him, flushed pink and happy. “That, just like that,” panted Jared. Jensen captured his lips with his own and Jared let him kiss deep, sharing the taste of his orgasm. “Mm. I should return the favour,” he muttered against Jensen’s lips.
“Too late,” murmured Jensen, painting a wet trail over Jared’s chest with cum covered fingers, “You’re so damned sexy.” He lay beside Jared and pulled him in to curl his head against his chest. He petted Jared’s hair and his other hand held him close, stroking his bare skin.
They closed their eyes and lay content for a few minutes and then there was a sudden, “Oh, oh,” from Jared, who sat up in a hurry. “I felt something,” he declared excitedly.
“Wow, I should hope so,” Jensen replied sleepily, but he opened one eye in confusion.
Jared grabbed his hand and placed it on his belly.
“There, feel it, feel it.” He beamed as he spoke. Jensen sat up now too, suddenly wide awake and understanding, sharing Jared’s thrill.
There was the hot sting of emotional tears at the edge of his eyes, “It’s a flutter. I felt it. I felt our pup too, Jared.”
When the pup’s movement settled, so did Jared. His eyelids grew heavy and he gave in to sleep.
Jensen lay beside him and watched Jared as he slept. His hand rested on Jared’s belly, over their pup and he couldn’t close his eyes. He wanted to drink in every detail, each flutter of his eyelashes, every snuffle, and the rise and fall of his chest. He didn’t know what he had done to deserve such treasures but it was his responsibility to make sure his family was happy and healthy. It overwhelmed him in a way that leading a whole pack never had.
***
Jensen woke Jared with a cup of coffee, before sharing a warm shower with plenty of lather and soft kisses. He wrapped Jared in the hugest and fluffiest towel he could find.
“What did I do?” asked Jared in curious amusement, once he was dressed.
“You put up with me. You look after me and you make me happy, even when I’m being an idiot.”
Jared frowned, “You’re not an idiot, and you look after me. You’ve done everything for me, and I didn’t deserve any of it. I don’t contribute anything to the pack.”
“Well, here’s the thing. You do. You do too much and everyone has got lazy depending on you, and it’s not fair. You’re not our housekeeper. There are things I got to think about when I was away and the way we’re treating you is all wrong. You and I need to talk to each other, and I mean really talk about what happened to you, maybe with someone to help us.”
Jared’s hair dripped as he shook his head. “I’ve been getting better.”
“No. Just listen to me Jared. We’ve been treating you like a pup, and we’ve only been seeing your wolf. We’ve been working so hard on therapy for your wolf that I’d almost forgotten that underneath it all you’re mostly human and that human got badly hurt. It’s time we acknowledged that.”
“But I’m Were, and I haven’t any other way to contribute to the pack. It’s working, isn’t it?” Jared looked upset.
“It’s been good,” reassured Jensen, “but it’s time we did better. I talked to some folks when I was in the city, and I brought some things back with me. I want you to know about them before the Pack meeting, is that okay?”
***
Jared looked at the laptop and the boxes of books which were unpacked in the room he had cleaned. “All this is for me?”
“This is your den. You can do schoolwork here, bring friends here, play music and generally hang out.”
“I’m pregnant. I don’t have schoolwork or friends.” Jared spoke with a slight catch in his voice.
“You were top of your class in school, and you would have had a whole list of qualifications by now. I think you should go back to school. Alpha Morgan put me in touch with the local community college, and you can go once or twice a week and do the rest on-line. When the pup arrives you can rearrange your study to suit the circumstances. It’s very flexible. If you still want to be a home-maker after all that, then that would be fine, but I want you to try other things. I think you need more. Will you give it a go?”
“I’m not safe, what if I shift in school?” Jared’s hands balled up as he tensed.
“You won’t, and if you do, well, that’s why we’ve worked so hard. You will cope. You can’t hide away for the rest of your life.” Jensen stroked the soft bangs from Jared’s eyes to look at him fondly.
“How will I repay you?”
“First, you are my mate and the father of my pup. You don’t owe anything.” He squeezed Jared’s hand, “but …” he paused and smiled, “Alpha Morgan did have an ulterior motive in sponsoring a place for you at school. They need somebody to help out with the Human-Wolf Alliance, and a genuine Were student, who properly understands human customs, would be ideal.”
Jared looked blank, and Jensen spelled it out for him, “The alpha council want you to be on the committee of the Human-Wolf Alliance. They’ll get you all the help and tuition you need.”
“Me?”
“You don’t have to decide right away, but, so you know, I think you’d be great at it.”
Jared nodded his head, as he reached a decision and his eyes shone with enthusiasm, “Yes, I want to. I’ll do it.” He wrapped his arms around Jensen in a bear hug. “Thank you.”
Jensen kissed the upturn of his nose, “I’m glad that’s settled. Time to make an announcement to the pack, are you ready?”
***
Misha pinged a piece of popcorn at Christian, and Katie whacked his arm. Milo nudged Chad for a proper response to Jensen’s announcement and Steve held on to the Pack paperwork as he neatly signed his name. Genevieve hugged Jared.
“I thought you’d all want to say something,” Jensen said lamely.
“Well it was like a dog with four legs,” mused Misha, “A very randy one, who keeps humping your leg.” The entire pack turned to look him, “Obvious,” he clarified with an exaggerated sigh. “It was obvious.”
“How about you, Christian?” Jensen asked, concerned about his second-in-command’s silence.
Chris spoke carefully, with small glances at Jared, “He’s your mate, and I don’t see you wanting anyone else. In those circumstances, he is the only choice for Pack Beta. It can’t be any other way.”
“But it offends you, to step aside for him?” Jensen was blunt.
Christian shifted in his seat and sucked in breath, “Offended isn’t the right word. Worried, maybe. Jared is young and pregnant, with little knowledge of pack politics, and he has physical weaknesses. We are a small, barely established pack, and it could make us vulnerable.”
Steve and Katie looked furious at his words, and Genevieve stroked Jared’s shoulder reassuringly.
Christian spoke again and this time he looked straight at Jared, “The fact remains that I trust my Pack Alpha’s judgement and Jared continues to prove that he is willing to learn and be a valuable member of our community. I won’t contest Pack leadership over his appointment as Pack Beta.” He looked back to Jensen and gave a belligerent smile, “After all, I am still an awesome General for your troops.” His next move surprised everybody in the room, Christian dropped to one knee in front of Jared and bared his neck to him, “I promise allegiance and protection to my Pack Beta.”
Jensen’s mouth gaped open at the old-fashioned gesture, but Jared was quick to acknowledge it in the proper fashion. He placed an open palm on Christian’s head and replied, “I accept your allegiance and swear my loyalty and care for you.” He flashed a confident smile at his alpha. Apparently, ‘Brody’s Pack Life’ had come in useful for something after all. Milo nodded his wholehearted approval and one by one each member of the pack followed Christian’s example.
Jared wasn’t expecting Jensen’s participation but his alpha was there too, on one knee, bare-necked and submissive. “I swear my loyalty, allegiance and protection to my only love, and declare you as my Pack Beta.” Jared didn’t know what say, he smiled shyly and the awkwardness subsided as Chad and Katie whooped and clapped and the entire pack joined in noisily.
“That was so traditional, like Christmas,” enthused Genevieve.
Jensen gathered Jared in his arms to hug him close and whisper in his ear, “Don’t ever think you aren’t good enough. You’re a worthy Pack Beta, and you’re ours.”
“Music!” declared Steve.
“Beer,” added Misha.
The impromptu party spilled into the garden with laughter, karaoke and endless bad jokes from Chad. When the moon shone high the pack shifted to run on the mountainside, but Jared and Jensen remained. They danced together, a perfect fit, with Jensen’s hands resting lightly on Jared’s waist and Jared’s head tucked into Jensen’s shoulder. They were lit by moonlight and stars, and the only music was the sound of pine trees shifting in the wind and Jensen singing a serenade.
When he finished his song, he leaned in to nibble at Jared’s ear, “We have the house to ourselves. We could go in and watch some classic Star Trek.”
“I’d prefer Firefly,” contested Jared.
Jensen grinned like a maniac, at the small contradiction. “Firefly it is,” he agreed.
~~end~~