The Unsuitable Slave. (NC-17) Part 28/34
Jensen sat back, wiped his forearm over his face and pushed his hair back. He repeated the gesture with Jared as he smoothed stray strands onto the pillow. Jared was frantic with concern but he waited, he could see an explanation formed, then pushed back and then different words summoned and rejected. Worry chased away the need for Jared’s own sexual fulfilment, it left him limp, with a cold sweat and uncomfortably tied limbs.
Jared bit back his fear, “You said you would talk to me Jen. So talk, about this lie, about your father, your brother, anything, just talk to me.”
“How can you do that Jared? I screw you up, mess you around, tie you up and leave you hanging and STILL you ask me what is wrong? Fuck! Just fuck!” Jensen formed a fist, raised it high and brought it slamming down toward Jared’s face with uncompromising speed. Breath caught in the slave’s throat and his eyes widened in terror as he pulled against his ties to escape the impending blow. Air whistled past his ear as solid knuckles landed a hairsbreadth from his chin and buried themselves in soft pillow. Jared took a moment to compose himself before glancing up at Jensen, who was flushed pink, with an indefinable glint of something else, a spark of excitement or danger. Jensen saw Jared’s stare, blinked and turned his back on him.
Jared recalled all the other times when Jensen had turned his back, walked away from him, left him chained, alone and anxious. Anxiety turned to anger and he strained at his ties. “No! Fuck you Jensen! You don’t get to do this again. You don’t get to pretend that you can cope with it alone. I won’t be left here, I won’t let you walk away and leave me again. I will shout and scream and fuss and then I will show Steve your scars, tell him how screwed in the head you really are.”
Jensen didn’t answer, he pulled the belt from his pants and rounded on him again. Jared flinched as the leather squeaked its release and Jensen folded it in his hand. He was sure he had pushed too far and Jensen was going to break. Jared fought to find a calm place in his head, somewhere which would shelter him from the impending pain.
“You won’t,” Jensen spoke, as he jammed the belt between his slave's teeth and looped it until it was secure.
A tear gathered at the edge of the Jared's eye and Jensen gathered it on the pad of his finger, burst it between thumb and finger and rubbed the wetness away. “I have to think.” Jensen said, as he adjusted his pants, tucked in his shirt and left the room with the heavy slam of solid wood.
Jared wasn’t sure when the nervous trembling and raised goose-bumps lessened to give way to cold despair and confusion. His limbs were pulled taut and they ached. He didn’t understand what he had done wrong. Everything had seemed perfect until the moment it all changed. He closed his eyes and let himself drift to warm days and childhood but there was no longer any safety there, he saw the memories differently, tinged them with blood, portents and bad omens.
He didn’t open his eyes when the door squeaked and scuffed shut. His eyelids acted as shutters as footfall approached and a chair scraped over the floor beside the bed. A warm hand wiggled its way beneath Jared's head, lifted it gently and encouraged his mouth to meet a cup of mulled spice wine. “C’mon. I know you’re awake Child.” Jared took a sip but his eyelashes continued to rest on his cheeks in an act of defiance to his Master.
There was a faint swish as satin-soft fabric fell over his face and tickled at his cheek. Jared could smell Jensen as he leaned over him, it was a sweet spicy musk, with fur and leather and it stirred everything that wanted within him, and how crazy and wrong was that in the circumstances? “Ssh, Child.” A cool silk scarf wound around his head and over his eyes. The soft pads of Jensen’s fingers adjusted the width and Jared sought out the touch and revelled in it. When the fingers drew back, their task over, the quietest whine escaped his throat.
The chair creaked as Jensen settled in it. His Master blew out a breath before telling his story.
“As a child I didn’t think it was wrong to keep slaves. I didn’t think about it. I loved the attention they lavished on me. I liked the way they looked and to touch them. Ethan was sometimes uncomfortable in the beginning, but he grew out of it. Slaves deserved to be slaves because we were better than them. They weren’t real people, I was sure of that, why else would they allow themselves to be used in the way that they were? They were a symbol of the Kingdom’s wealth and power. The Court slaves denoted virulence and dominance and I didn’t understand the sexual allure of that until puberty.”
Jared felt a delicate touch of fingers tracing about his nipples and he suppressed a shiver.
“Of course Joshua was older and reached maturity first. Papa’s behavior changed with the note of Josh’s voice. The things that had been private with Papa’s slave became overt and deliberately exhibitionist. He worried at Josh to touch and join in. His girl at the time was small and timid, Papa liked them that way. He would smile at me as he squeezed her nipples hard enough to make her gasp, or terrorize her as she served. She was always correct but Papa would find fault because it pleased him to see her fear and he enjoyed the sounds of her pleading and crying when he disciplined her.”
The long fingers stopped their pattern on his chest and reached to pat at the blindfold. “You wonder why I did this,” Jensen whispered to his slave, “You’ll understand.”
Jared didn’t move, he didn’t want to break the moment, and besides, what could he do in his current predicament?”
“Josh was appalled at Papa’s behavior. He railed against it and rebelled. He refused to take a slave of his own and was noisy in his abhorrence of our father’s treatment of his girl. All teenagers rebel right?” There was a soft snort but Jared didn’t smile around the belt gag.
“You expect me to tell you how I supported my brother, how repulsive I found the King’s actions, but it wasn’t how it was. You see it fascinated me, what my father did to that girl. The noises she made, the way her muscles strained against her restraints, the sheen of perspiration that covered her as she fought and mewled, even the red stripes the belt left on her, but especially, most especially, the moment between the calm façade that she was trained to project and her breakdown into pleas and desperation. You have no idea how potent and raw that single moment is, how alive and honest and vital a person is in that fleeting instant. You can’t comprehend the intense power and passion it aroused in me. Papa always rode her hard after discipline, he didn’t bother to hide it and I watched him fuck her with such dominance and lust. I looked on as he shared her for her sins and she cried as men plowed all of her holes together. It was the most incredible sight and it was captivating. There was so much expression and truth in it. When I grew up and reached the Hell of my own puberty, Gods help me, I yearned to have the same . By the time I was fourteen Papa trusted me with my own Command and I tried to find the perfect slave. I looked, I met with every trader, searched each market, I won’t pretend that I did not and Joshua was furious with me. None was ever quite right. I never saw what I needed in their eyes. ”
Jensen tugged at Jared’s collar. “You understand now that I do not want to see how you look at me. I don’t need to see the revulsion at my true nature. I never want to see that.” He smoothed at the silk blindfold.
Jared wasn’t sure how he felt about the revelation. There was disgust at Jensen’s father but little surprise. He wondered how he would have viewed such a public spectacle but he couldn’t imagine it. It occurred to him how he had felt just days before, with the tear of flesh and snap of bones in his hands. He had enjoyed it. He had been zinging with sensation, overwhelmingly alive, and he knew he would not hesitate to repeat it. Jensen had been there, he had watched Jared. How much had he seen? Had his slave’s verve been obvious?
He stayed silent and listened as Jensen continued, “Josh and I are normal brothers. Both of us wanted our father’s attention and neither of us got it. Our rivalry became the stuff of legends and Papa despaired with each of us. With every slave that Joshua and I passed over, our father became more frustrated with us. I’m not sure when it occurred to Joshua that taking a slave before me would win him favor, but when he took Genevieve he took Papa’s favor and Supreme Command of our armies, and I took to a bitch fit. It didn’t matter to me that I was altogether too young and too headstrong for the command, just that my brother was given it and that he did so with an underhand and two-faced manoeuvre.”
Jensen gave a wry chuckle. “It’s a fact that youth will adopt a cause to protest, for all the wrong reasons. In public I flamed his choice to take a slave and vowed I never would. In turn he teased me with stories of his dominance, described the power and sexual prowess in every, minute, excruciating, detail. I was devastated and jealous when Ethan saw the benefit of pleasing the King by buying Alona, and slowly I managed to convince myself that I meant the condemnation I spoke to them.”
Fingers resumed toying with the hard nub of his nipples, pulling, rubbing and squeezing at them.
“Time passed and I was given tasks that took me into the Realm. I saw life and I grew up. I found out that I had no interest in female slaves because women in general do not sexually attract me. Men on the other hand, mmm, I love their rough edges and hard lines, I get hot and hard with the promise of rough sex and harsh kisses. I prize stubble burn in all the wrong places. Men turn me on in a way that a perfect curved women can never hope to.”
Jared hissed in surprise as a nipple was sucked hard into a warm insistent mouth and a tongue worried at it. He squirmed and tried to pull back as Jensen bit a painful round about it, before moving away to speak again. “I discovered that all people are equal but some are unfairly judged or poorly treated. I still took slaves for the Kingdom but it became harder with every occasion and Captain Beaver and I developed rules for the capture and treatment of slaves and a network of slavers who we trusted to sell to fair owners. I felt so justified and even moral.”
A large, warm, hand moved to cup Jared’s exposed balls and he jumped as frayed nerves created a flutter in his stomach and the chains that held him clinked his surprise. The hand closed around his most sensitive flesh and squeezed, just to one side of painful, but Jared couldn’t ascertain which side. His breath hitched and his body reacted with eager enthusiasm.
Jensen groaned with lusty growl and faster breath, before he started talking once more, “Then, there you were, all hard muscle and handsome face, sword in hand, full of courage, defiance and the surety of youth, until the very moment you accepted your defeat under my weight and my dominance. I knew you, knew the prize that you represented and I understood your worth, but you showed me something else that I had hidden for so long.”
There was a harsh tug on the length of Jared's cock and it was filling once more, hardening under rough pressure.
“I tell everyone that I let you take the choice to maintain my reputation and that I took you as my own to keep you safe but it isn’t true. All of it is a lie. I let you choose because I enjoyed seeing you squirm, it felt good to watch your growing despair and while my sensible ego admired your care and courage there was so much more to it. The moment you knew you’d lost it all, the light in your eyes dimmed and you had been my enemy for so long, it turned me on.”
Jared was starting to feel nauseous but his body refused the memo. He felt the bed dip and hot breath ghosted across his face. He sensed Jensen kneeling between his splayed legs just before he felt the heat of them and the pressure to push his thighs impossibly wider.
”Even then, I didn’t truly understand my own lie until you were branded. You were breathtaking on your knees before me, determined and brave, until the first devastating agony of scorched flesh and there it was, the raw and uncontained moment when you broke, and I saw the very core of you, truly alive, unprotected, open and helpless.” Jensen’s voice cracked, heavy with lust, “I almost came in my pants and I knew I had to have you. I wanted to enjoy your despair. I never wanted you broken but I needed another chance to see you break. Does that even make sense? It is a narcotic, an addiction to me and I crave it so much I instigate it. The moment, earlier, when you thought I would punch you; Oh Child! That moment was raw and undisguised and your fright was pure pornography to me. Why do you think I am reluctant to discipline you? The truth is not that I don’t want to strike you, I ache to see those stripes, to hear your cries and make you beg, but I do not know if I can maintain control. I cannot be sure I will stop.”
Oiled fingers circled the rim of his puckered hole and two broke in with eager haste and a pained squeal from Jared. Jensen slowed for a moment but continued the steady jacking of his slave’s cock. Jared’s body reacted with perplexing enthusiasm, snapped up into the grasp and joined the rhythm.
“Mine!” his Master reminded him, “You don’t get an orgasm until I say you can.”
The thrum of his desire almost deafened Jared to Jensen’s words, his whole body drummed to the beat of want, want, want. His mind listened to the harsh, stinging words but his body heard desire and touch. His heart still beat out a steady L-O-V-E, none of it made sense and little of it mattered in the heat of the moment.
“I treated you badly and I didn’t enjoy it entirely the way I anticipated, but the power is intoxicating. Seeing you in chains, that first night,” Jared felt the shudder that wracked Jensen’s body at the mere memory, “I would have ravaged you then if I thought my men would forgive me, but I knew they would not so I made you submit on a leash and put you in crippling chains and enjoyed the show from a distance.”
A third finger probed and scissored as nails dug painfully into the base of his swollen member and Jared drew a shocked breath.
“What a show! Everything you did, every move that you made was perfect to me. Oh! The way you wore your status and your collar, so gracious and unbowed. I never imagined there could be courage in submission, that the soul can be left unchained, but it is so with you. I’m not even sure of the true source of my anger when I returned to find you Presented. I tell myself it is because I love you but I wonder if I am only jealous that others got to see your true nature and deepest pain. I no longer trust my own reactions, Child.”
The truth was more cruel than the chains, and Jared hated the way his hips rolled up to meet Jensen’s fourth finger. His greedy hole sucked it in and tightened around it demanding its attention and thrust.
“You say I’m screwed in the head and you have no idea how right you are and how wrong I am. I can’t resolve the way that I love you with the way that I want to love you, and I do love you, so very, very, much, Jared.”
Bright bursts of sensation lit his body and flung it up for more, chasing fingers that Jensen removed in haste and pressed roughly over the tied belt and onto Jared’s tongue with earthy, gagging taste. “Want to hear you cry and beg and plead for it, Child.” Nimble fingers unbuckled the belt and eased it from his mouth. As the leather hit the floor Jensen’s mouth descended on the parted lips. Teeth knocked as he pressed a hard, possessive kiss on his mouth and Jared whined and responded, pressing his own mouth into it with bruising pressure. He hated Jensen, hated him for his dominance, hated him for enjoying his pain, hated the early neglect of his chains and lonely existence. He hated the lies and deceit. His tongue twisted and fucked brutally into Jensen’s mouth, he loved him with an inexplicable chemical attraction, he loved him for his dominance, he loved him for his soft touches and firm instruction, he loved his stupid flaws and he loved him for the way his pain took everything away but Jared's raw, needy humanity, to let him live in the moment for a fleeting, glorious time."
“Please,” Jared moaned.
Sharp teeth bit into the soft fold of his neck and sucked a stinging purple bruise. “Not going to stop. Going to take you and fuck you hard, need to see you squirm, hear you cry. I need you Jared but if I don’t come back you’ll know its better for you. You can be free to find a gentle love without pain or submission. I lied when I said I’d let you go. As long as I’m alive I won’t let you leave me. I’ll track you down, drag you back and chain you to the floor. I’ll brick the windows and seal the door. I’ll secure your leash to a cuff on my wrist and drag you wherever I go. I will have you kneel at my feet and spread for my pleasure. I can’t be without you and I can’t pretend to be something else any more.”
Something cold and blunt and pressed into him, spread him wide and caught against his rim as it fucked huge and hard into his ass.Dildo thought Jared and pushed down onto it, chasing his sweet spot. He sensed Jensen’s stare as the substantial toy stretched and skewered him. He knew Jensen was watching his ass take it deep and open up again as he pulled it out with rough abandon. Jared gibbered and begged, but the toy was plunged forcefully back with careful avoidance of his prostate. His chains scraped and cut his flesh as he fought for completion.
“Not good enough, Child!” growled Jensen.
A fierce bite to his hip had Jared throwing his head back and keening. A tear rolled from under his blindfold. “Please, Jen, Jensen please, Oh Gods, Jensen, Jen, Jen, Jen. Need. Need it. Need you Jensen, Jen.” Jared was bucking upward and chasing air with his mouth looking for full lips to kiss but all he found was the top of his Master’s head. His teeth clashed with its crown and Jensen cursed and slapped the inside of Jared’s thigh with a sharp, erotic sting. The heat of it coursed through him and as the blow was repeated on the opposite leg and suddenly he felt pre-come drip from his over-sensitive, swollen cock. Jensen's fingers squeezed his shaft painfully, and dipped in to gather the bitter, clear fluid, collect it and press into his mouth with silent demand. He sucked on them, licked every drop and swallowed. He gasped in a shuddering breath as the dildo rammed against his prostate with purpose and his whole body arched against the restraints that held him. Then it was withdrawn, his hole empty and fluttering for something to fill it. He moaned then screamed Jensen’s name and the reply was rasped and barely controlled, “Can’t stop this, Child.”
“Want it. Need you to use me, hurt me, show me I’m yours Jen. Please.”
The reply was in hurried, frantic action. The locks on his ankles were released and hands pawed and pushed at him until he was kneeling with his cuffed hands chained in front of him, his ass in the air and his face pushed into the mattress. A strong grip parted his smooth, muscular globes and Jared felt the blunt head of Jensen’s pulsing cock as it breeched and penetrated him. Jensen’s arms gripped him tight about his chest, held on with pincer grip, fingers gripping sensitive nipples and pulling him back onto Jensen's pistoning erection, to fuck him with careless, bruising thrusts. Jared met each plunge, pushing down and chasing the sensation. His face ran wet under the silk and Jensen muffled his screams with a shove of the dildo between his lips.
Jensen’s breath came in short bursts and Jared felt the tension as Jensen’s balls pulled up against his ass-cheeks. “Come for me,” his Master snarled as his own ejaculation sprayed hot and wet, into Jared’s tight passage, marking him as Jensen’s, owning him. Jared had never been so strung out and alive as in this moment, never before felt so much. His orgasm rolled over him with blinding intensity and he came with unprecedented force, untouched, over the sweat soaked sheets, with his hands still chained and his eyes still blind. He collapsed into unconsciousness with exhausted tears, and nothing more to give.
Jared panicked, couched in all-encompassing darkness when he woke, but he felt Jensen’s steady hand on his chest. He had been moved, the bedding was dry under him and an eiderdown lay soft atop him. He raised his arm and it was free to pull at the silk blindfold that still blocked his sight but he winced with the pain of movement. Jensen’s hand knocked his hand away, “Leave it on.” he ordered.
Jared was weary, every muscle ached, he was battered and sore and he didn’t think he would walk properly for days, but there was a buzz of pure pleasant satisfaction and the familiar instinct to obey. “How do you want me, Master?”
“I want you to rest beside me Jared. I want you to let me hold you and allow me to pretend for this night.”
“Pretend what?”
“Pretend that you love me. I won’t look, I cannot bear to see the hate in your eyes.” Gentle kisses rained on Jared's face, over his nose and across his cheek while fingers carded through his hair. “I’m sorry Jared. I’m so very sorry for everything that I am, I’m sorry for the things that I’ve done and the things I still want to do.” Jensen repeated “I’m sorry.” Over and over until Jared lifted his fingers and placed them on his lips.
“I know you are.”
Jensen sighed and rested his head on Jared’s chest, over his steady beating heart and atop of his brand, His hands tangled with the tag on his collar. He startled as Jared bent to kiss him gently on the top of his head.
“Sorry I bumped your head Jen.”
There was a hitched laugh and salt-wet drops slid over Jared’s breast. “You’re saying sorry for accidentally bumping my head. You are priceless, Child.”
“Jen.”
“Yeah.”
“Some of those things that you want to do to me. I think I encourage them, I want you to do them.” Jared licked his lips and gave a nervous laugh before continuing, “I like when you hurt me that way. I like when you peel away the layers to find me raw and I really love it when you put me back together afterwards. What don’t you get about the phrase, I trust you? I keep telling you and you don’t seem to comprehend it.” He patted his hands carefully until he found Jensen’s face and he cradled it carefully then wriggled from under his Master and searched out his lips. He pressed a finger softly to them, parting them for his mouth to latch on and kissed Jensen warm and sensuously. Jensen stilled with surprise and then responded with slick, gentle movements and a hint of tongue.
Jared spoke again when they stopped for air, “Take the blindfold off Jen. I don’t hate you, I don’t think I ever could. I love you the way you are and I’ll take you that way. I’ll lock you in a room, brick over the window and chain you to the floor if that’s what it takes to keep you.” He ran a hand over his Master’s shoulder, smoothing it and reassuring him.
When the silk was removed Jared wasn’t sure if it was the lamplight or Jensen’s bright smile that dazzled him more.
Unchained, Jared propped himself on one elbow, he let his hand smooth lightly over the pale, dappled flesh. “If that is talking then I’ve suddenly become a big advocate of it.”
Jensen let out a disjointed and relieved laugh. “Yeah. I’m useless, I bust my own rules on the first day.”
“Oh I don’t know. It’s a fairly big discussion to me Jen. It pretty much checks off family issues, kinks and relationship boundaries in one clean sweep. Why did you? Today, I mean, why now?”
Jensen lifted an arm over his eyes and Jared nudged it away “Don’t hide!”
“I couldn’t fight it. You were laid out for me, willing and vulnerable and all I could think about was how you would look, the face you would make with the shock of pain. I wanted it so bad and you trusted me. You let me manipulate and dominate you, you welcome it! You are so beautiful and I want to make you submit and hurt.This thing I feel, that I crave, is wrong and I don’t know where it comes from or how to make it go away. I am scared of how far I might take it. I know what I am capable of, I raped you once, I almost killed you.”
For the first time in the discussion Jared looked worried, he picked at a nail and his brows dipped and met. ”You said you didn’t enjoy it. Was that a lie too?”
“I don’t know. I was furious and hurt and I wanted revenge. There was no lust and yet I got hard. The only passion I had was anger and yet I came. I wasn’t thinking about about how you would be. I barely saw you. It went too far and there was no spark left in you. All I saw when you looked at me was pity and despair. It was soul numbing and shameful. I knew there was evil in me then and I tried to release it. I opened myself up to bleed it out, I needed to feel it run from my veins, but I don't think it did. It curls in a dark corner of me and waits."
Jared took Jensen's hand in his own and kissed at each of the slashed scars, then took the other and repeated the action.
Jensen shook his head in wonder. "I have never understood why you would forgive me for such a thing.”
“So there was regret and self-knowledge. That’s a good thing isn’t it? That is normal. I’m a little puzzled at what it is you’ve done since that which should have me scurrying for safety because I have never felt threatened. Uncomfortable, nervous and turned on but never unreasonably afraid. You used the tawse precisely as you described and you stopped. We mended. We’re good together aren’t we?”
“I almost broke your jaw tonight, Jared. How is that a good thing? I keep telling you to be honest with me. It was time for me to be honest with you.”
“You didn’t try to connect that punch, it was deliberately way-off. You got the result you needed without the hit. You have more control than you credit yourself with. I’m glad you told me, I’m not a china doll, I’m a big boy and there are things I like, rough things. We can work it out safely, can’t we?”
He tipped Jensen’s face so he was looking directly at him. “I do want to include it when we’re intimate, Jen. When you go all caveman on me it makes me hot as hell and twice as horny.”
Jensen gave an exaggerated shudder “That is not an expression which should ever pass your lips Child. Who on this fine earth taught you it? Wait. I can guess…”
“Chad,” giggled Jared.
“Chad,” finished Jensen.
“Did you..”
“It’s not all about ..” they spoke simultaneously and Jared indicated that Jensen should finish.
“Most of the time it’s not about making you raw, it can be when you laugh so freely or the way that you care for others. It can be your teases or the fierceness that you lose yourself in when you fight. All of it turns me on. It’s about having all of you.”
Jared reassured him “You do have all of me Jen. Always.” He flattened his palm over Jensen’s heart. “Did you tell me now, because of Venne? Did you hope to push me away?”
His hand rose and fell with the sigh from Jensen’s chest. “No. I didn’t hope for this to finish us, even if I thought it would. I suppose I had to know whether tomorrow could realistically be the first day of the rest of our life together, or if I should cut my losses and accept all this for an anomaly of war, one of those short, crazy romances born from strange circumstances. The chances are that I will have to explain our relationship to Meghan and that would be hard even if I understood it myself.”
“Woah, hang on! My baby sister doesn’t get details of our sex life. Not ever.”
“Moons, no! Never! But she will want to understand what defines us. She is your blood and she is going to want to know why you refuse your place in the Monarchy and how you accept this collar.”
“Right. Of course.” Jared chewed on his lip. “So, Meghan is at Venne and you intend to be the dashing hero?”
“Something like that, but I am the distraction. There will be three events in addition to the public unrest. There is to be a strike on the prison, infiltration of the Palace and an attack on the base to the North of Venne. We hope it will tax the defences to break. The information is good but the City is in chaos, with riots and flame. Technically, this is precisely my job, a deep covert operation against a key enemy target. Josh has too much on his plate to worry about refusing it. He would do anything right now. You know I will still refuse your company. Venne is one of the few cities you would be recognized and we cannot risk the jeopardy it would place everyone in, especially Meghan.”
Jared didn’t have to like it but he was a strategist and he reluctantly agreed with the logic. “If you tell me not to follow you I won’t, Jensen.”
Jensen reached up and ruffled his hair. “Good boy.”
“Steve’s gonna be pissed that you told me your plans. Why have you?”
“You told Steve something today, Jared. You said we were a team. You have trusted me far more than I deserve. It's time I woke up and did the same for you, because you are right, we jumped in this together and we’re the only ones that see the vision as we do. All we have is each other and we make an awesome team.”
“So, I get to accompany you?”
“Nope. Absolutely not! I will need a team mate to rescue me if it all goes to Hell.”
Jared huffed and settled back into the soft bedding with his hands under his head.
Part Twenty Nine
Masterpost
Back to Part Twenty Seven