The Unsuitable Slave. (NC-17) Part 12/34
Jared had to admit, Mackenzie’s timing was impeccable, it could not have looked worse. He struggled to his knees as she looked him over. She swung into the study and Jared waited. He wondered if he would ever get used to the waiting, to the not knowing, the lack of control that had him free-falling and anxious at every turn.
There was the, now familiar, sound of raised voices and then a hush and the Princess held the door open and tapped her foot as they re-entered the room. Jensen followed her meekly and Jared almost laughed at the peculiar notion, but it forced a comparison to his relationship with Meghan and he was, all of a sudden, homesick and missing his little sister with all his heart.
“Josh sent you because he knew I’d beat his ass.” Jensen crossed his arms and glared at her.
“Well you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, darling. This is ridiculous and if you were thinking even half straight you would know it too.”
“We’re giving these people hope when there will only be death.”
“We are giving them respect Jensen, and I for one, refuse to give up. There has to be a way. We will find one. Do you remember the child’s tale about the three pigs and the wolf? Well our forts are made of stone and I am boiling the water as we speak.”
Jensen smirked but there was little light in his eyes “You just called yourself a little pig.”
“I believe I included you and Josh.” Mackenzie imitated his smirk, then frowned, “Jensen. Why is your slave in chains, again? If it cannot be trusted get rid of it.”
Jensen’s brows knotted and for a moment he appeared surprised to see him there, as if he had forgotten about him.”
“Oh, yes. No. I mean, I just got annoyed because it was winning at chess.” It was an obvious lie but she did not call him out on it.
“So unlock it.”
Jared’s heart pounded and a small bead of sweat formed on his upper lip. The keys lay carelessly abandoned, on the floor, where he had thrown them. Jensen’s eyes followed his slave’s guilty gaze. “I was planning something, with him, in chains.” he said raising his eyebrows suggestively at her.
“Oh stars! I did not need to know that Jensen Ross.” She moved toward the exit but spoke directly to Jared. “Your Master will be attending a ceremony at noon tomorrow. You will ensure he is bathed and dressed in a timely fashion. You will be at his heel. Ensure you do not disgrace him.” She looked to her brother once more. “In the event that you do not attend, Joshua will assume that your slave is at fault and it will be punished accordingly.” She switched her gaze once more, “Do not disappoint us, Child.”
Jared’s lips parted, as if to speak, but no words would form. The command was not reasonable. If Jensen wished not to do something, he would simply keep Jared chained.
Jensen was woken from his daze, fists clenched and furious, “What the moons sort of threat was that Mack? Am I to be a child with a whipping boy again? I thought I had proven I do not care for this one.”
“Indeed,” She purred as she stooped to retrieve the clinking loop of metal “and that will be why you did not wish me to notice these?” she threw them in the air as she slammed the door and Jensen caught them easily, in the fingers of one hand.
Jared’s heart was jack-rabbiting through his ribs. He miserably folded his body into itself and could not bring himself to look into the face of his Master.
It was too quiet and his Master too still. He could hear Jensen breathing, feel his intense stare,then there was the sound of retreating steps and the swing of the study door. Jared rested his head on his knees and closed his eyes. He wouldn’t cry, he had no reason to cry, it was degrading and he had no way to wipe the tears or catch his sniffs. The resolve did not prevent the tears from silently falling and his chest heaving with the effort of restraining his gulped breath.
He wasn’t aware of falling asleep but the embers of a fire were dying in the hearth when he awoke and Jensen was thrashing restlessly in his slumber, his eiderdown tangling into an impossible twist. He stared into the hynotizing glow of flickering ash and his eyelids became heavy again. He considered how quickly his body had adjusted to the unforgiving cold floor and confines of shackles that anchored him to his new life, he let himself drift.
He woke again in the thick dark and stillness of pre-dawn. There was a rustling and a golden flickering of candlelight. Jared did not make a sound.
Jensen was laying a fire. His bare chest was pale, muscular and smooth with a smattering of tan dots and glint of fine hair. Eyes that were fixed in concentration reflected the warm glow of light. His impossibly long lashes curled upwards from red-rimmed, emerald eyes. His freckles seemed to dance over the handsome profile of his face and his lips were parted a fraction, revealing his tongue, caught between his teeth. The faintest sliver of yellow flame licked through the tinder, Jensen leaned to it and his plush lips formed an O as he blew gently. The glow spread and evolved with rich oranges and red eating at the kindling and reaching upwards about thick logs, toward the flue, bathing his Master with its light. Jared could not tear his gaze away. He bit back a whimper on the inside of his cheek. If this were the only beauty he was allowed to look upon, for the rest of his life, he thought it might not be a curse.
His Master finished and sat back in the honey illumination of his endeavor and watched it with a blank-eyed stare. “It was never supposed to be like this. I don’t know if I can and if I’m wrong, we’re all damned. ” He spoke the words into the flare, let the sparks burn into them and carry them up the chimney on shimmering air. “Show us hope, give me strength.” It was a private prayer to an unknown deity. He sighed, uncurled and padded back to his bed.
Jared heard the covers being ruffled, then a sharp intake of breath. The bed rattled and the mattress puffed air as Jensen bounced and shuffled to the end and peered at his slave over the edge. “Jared! Oh No! Wait. Hang on. Keys, keys” He vaulted to the floor and in a few long strides had retrieved what he needed and sat back, on the floor, beside him. “You should have said something. Why didn’t you say anything? How could I forget? How could I forget you? Why did you let me?” The cuffs fell to the floor and Jared remained frozen in his confusion. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been left in this precise manner, for days on end. Jensen had called him by his name. Why would he do that? He had forgotten him? His brain couldn’t formulate an answer and his tongue wouldn’t loosen.
Hands cupped his jaw and stroked the hair from his face. “You’ve been crying. C’mon, let’s get you over by the fire.” His muscles were stiff and his legs were bent and creaky, he stumbled as he tried to stand and Jensen steadied him with a hand around his waist. “Take it easy. Just a moment,” Jensen grabbed at his plump pillows and threw them to the floor by the hearth. “all right, now sit on those and stretch your legs out. Circle your hands to get them moving.” There was a swish and a drag as the bedding was tugged to the floor and wrapped around him.
Jared finally got his mouth working, his voice rasping “It’s not too bad. You don’t have to Jensen.”
“We have to get you something permanent. A mat and some blankets. When did you last take a drink? Wait here.” He fetched a pitcher of water and waited as Jared drank thirstily. “There’s something I used to do, let me see.” He lifted the lid of a trunk and there was clattering. “He returned, triumphant, with a bronze pot and a sealed cloth bag. “ Coffee.” he announced as he filled the pot and hung it over the fire.
Jared snuggled into the soft cover, even if he was hallucinating, he was going to enjoy it. Strong hands reached to his leg and then stopped “You should probably massage them. May I?” Jensen looked directly to his face.
Jared’s face scrunched in total confusion. “Why ask?”
“I don’t want to scare you. Whenever I touch you, it may as well be a scorpion creeping on your flesh.” He looked sad and a little frustrated “I’m not going to hurt you. I know I don’t deserve your trust but I won’t do anything like that again. I will not force you. It didn’t, Hell! It didn’t feel good for me either.”
“I know.” Jared was soft and reassuring in his reply. Jensen’s fingers rubbed firmly over his calves, stroking circles to his ankles and flexing his feet. Jared moaned. “Uh mmm, that is, oh!”
“See you are not the only one with skills.” The edges of his mouth were upturned and the tension in his jaw was released. Jared relaxed into the touch until the jangle of a vibrating pot disturbed them. The rich scent of coffee filled the air. “Ha! A ‘Jensen special’ coming up. He poured thick black liquid into rough camp mugs and handed one to the brunette “Don’t burn yourself.” He blew across the top of his own cup and tendrils of steam rose and curled, capturing colors from the fire.
Jared tapped on the side of his mug and picked at his thumbnail. He glanced at the enigma who was settled on the floor by him and averted his eyes as the look was returned.
“Jared.”
That alone had his attention back on the freckled face.
“I want to start over.”
“You want to give me my freedom?” he looked ruefully at the brand on his wrist.
“I cannot do that. Regardless, it may not be long until you have it.”
“Then it isn’t starting over. You truly think I can even start over, with everything that I have done, everything I have become?”
“I said I want to start over.”
Jared shook his head and scrunched his nose “In what way?”
“I know how it looks. I treat you badly, then, the moment it looks as if the wolf is at the door, I’m apologetic. I’m not after your mercy. If I wanted that I would grant your freedom right now. I am too selfish to do that.”
“Am I allowed to tell you that you are making no sense to me?”
Jensen made a noise that strongly resembled a growl “That is precisely my point. You shouldn’t have to ask, you should tell me. In no uncertain terms you should let me know I’m an incoherent idiot.”
Jared blinked and shook his head.
“If this is to be the end, if there is little time before we are overrun and Morgan does with us what he will, I want to dispense with the formality between us. I spent half my life wanting you Jared and now that I have you here, everything about it feels wrong. It was never supposed to be like this. You should not fear me.” He hunched his shoulders over and his face twisted into a frown. “I cannot remove the collar. I cannot even dispense with the formal requirements of public behavior, but damn, if Joshua wants me to ‘man-up’ and use the rebel in me, then I will be that man in my own home.”
“What do you mean there is little time until we are overrun?”
Jensen was open-mouthed. “You really don’t know?”
“I would not ask if I did?” he huffed.
“We threw everything we had at De’ith. We have no more left. Our men are on retreat across the whole border. Our forts are falling. You will be home in no time.”
Jared paled in horror. “What are you talking about? I cannot go home.” He grabbed at Jensen’s arm. “Have you any idea what they will do? To me? To the deviants? All your slaves? I cannot go back. I do not want to go back.”
“But you are their future King.”
“No. Their future King is dead and Morgan will not have him resurrected. Perhaps my Queen, or even Jeffrey could have granted clemency but it will not happen now.”
“The Queen?” Jensen couldn’t hide his sarcasm.
Jared pushed him angrily. “She is still Monarch, if it weren’t for her sickness, yes. It was always her will to have reform and reduce the power of the Elders.”
Jensen reeled and raised his hands, palm out in defense. “Woah.”
Jared remembered his place and sank back a few inches, curling his legs to be on his knees. “M’sorry.” He lowered his eyes.
“Do not! Just do not apologize! It is a difference in political opinion. Damn, if an inability to communicate isn’t why we’re all where we are in the first place.”
“But you have allies who would supply weapons and support.” It was a statement of fact. There were countries who would not defend or supply the Queen’s Realm. They did not display outright aggression but it was well known that they supplied the Kingdom They were honest and mildly apologetic about it in talks they had with Kane, Jared and Morgan.
“It is men we need. Jared. Why do you think we take slaves? Why do you think children are encouraged as free citizens and we offer their parents citizenship after their tenure? People are the one vital resource the Kingdom has always been scarce of. We have no riches to entice them with paid employment. Meals and a roof is all we can supply. To watch your executions, the scant regard your people have for life, it is sickening.”
“You think it is a good excuse to barter people as property? You think you are any better?” Jared spoke with passion.
“No. I don’t. I never did and I vowed I never would, I never wanted a slave and then you came along and pulled my world to pieces. I could not return you to the Realm, you would not have survived another moon. I wouldn't have you exposed and made an example by my father, nor could I let you go and lose track of where you went.” Jensen looked shattered. “Not even Joshua thinks slavery is just, but what would you have us do in the midst of losing a war?”
Jared drew the eiderdown tighter around himself. “You must not lose.”
Jensen’s eyes widened as he looked at the boy huddled beside him. “You cannot mean that.”
“I did not say I wanted you to win. I did not even say I would help. I just wish there was a way to force negotiation.”
“Jared, in the past seven years we have offered negotiation seven times, and the Realm would not consider it.”
“Which is why I said it has to be forced.” Jared shrugged, “I did not say I knew how to force it without Morgan at the end of your blade.”
“Hey!” Jensen nudged Jared lightly. “Look!” He pointed to the bay window. A faint glow of distant light painted the horizon in purples, green and blue. “A new day. Come sit with me. Please.”
Jared shrugged the eiderdown off his shoulders and Jensen pulled it back up. “Keep it. It is cold by the window.”
He shuffled behind Jensen and folded to the floor by his knees. “Sit on the seat, Jared.”
“Oh Right.” He leaned in close to Jensen. All around them stone and tiles interlaced and formed a complication of towers, halls and defenses. Directly below was an open street or market area. It was already busy with traders, maids with milk churns and travelers. The fortress stood at the peak of an impressive hill with a ravine to the side. It did not surprise him. He had studied its defenses from books and intelligence. The ensign fluttered at half mast over a red tiled roof. In the distance a flock of crows wheeled up as one, blackening the horizon and breaking the silence with raucous chatter. Jared could feel the raised bumps on Jensen’s arms and lifted the eiderdown from his own shoulder to share it. His hot thigh pressed against the cool fabric of Jensen’s night pants. His bare chest shared warmth with the cool flesh of Jensen’s. “It’s the first time I’ve sat close to stare,” he remarked.
“You never looked?”
“A little, from afar. I did not think I was allowed here.”
“Honestly, you’re not an unsuitable slave at all. You just have a hopeless Master.”
“Am I your first slave?”
“That was all my own? Yes, and I think it best I never take another.”
Jared was looking into his Master's eyes, enchanted by them. His face was close and he could feel the warm exhale of the older man’s breath ghosting over the fine hair on his cheek. “Does that mean you are going to keep me? I want you to keep me.” Jared's voice was husky and his lips brushed tentatively against the full pink bow of Jensen’s mouth, “Can I kiss you?”
Jensen didn’t reply. He reached a hand onto the back of his neck and pulled him into his lips. He tangled his fingers in the soft brunette hair and moaned as Jared crushed his lips with bruising force and his tongue slid into his mouth, searching and thrusting. Then Jared was sucking on his tongue with a hunger, and his hands, with those fine long fingers, were finally exploring the hard planes of his chest, pulling on his nipples and caressing his neck. Their tongues continued to twist and push, their lips slid slick against each other and Jared pulled away with a nip to Jensen’s chin, enough to be felt, not enough to mark. He could see the dazed surprise in the green eyes and he smiled at Jensen as he spoke, “Thank you, that was incredible.”
The pleasure died in Jensen’s face. “You don’t have to thank me any more, Jared.”
“I wanted to.” Jared pulled him close and leaned in for a chaste kiss on his lips. “I do not dislike you Jensen. Please smile again.”
Jensen pulled him in and kissed him, deep, slow and passionate. “Thank you Jared,” he said with a smile. They both turned to the window as a swallow dipped and dived on air currents before them.
“Umm” Jared was tangling his hands together and taking short glances at Jensen from under the hair that fell silken over his face. Hidden beneath the eiderdown his eager erection started to fade.
“What is it? Do you need something?” Jensen looked at him with concern.
“I think I may have lied, I did not know, not really, not had much of a chance what with everything and of course I would have to choose it, but I did not, I promise I did not, I have no idea how, I just know I do. I think I am, at least with you and perhaps there was a little with the gardener and Jake and the stable lad but it could have been normal right? It’s just, I shouldn’t be that. I shouldn't be wrong. I didn't ask for it, somehow, I really think I just am.” The words came quickly and stumbled over each other, and he sounded like the seven year old child Jensen had played with, all those years ago.
Jensen took a moment to interpret the jumbled selection of words that his slave had spoken and then replied with a sad shake of his head, “Jared, nobody chooses to be deviant! You just are what you are. Moons, you have me saying that word, it is an awful word. You do not choose your sexuality. It is it what it is, and it is amazing. You aren't wrong, you are amazing. I don’t know how I will ever convince you, but I am telling the truth. Wait! Is that why you wish to stay with me? Do you think you it makes you less, that you deserve to be a slave, to be treated badly?” Hurt flashed across Jensen's features.
“No. Yes. Maybe.” Jared was picking at his fingernails again, and Jensen slapped his hand to stop him. Jared stared at his fingers and continued, “The collar, your collar, makes it alright to be what I am because everyone knows you want me that way. I mean, you chose me, without knowing, or asking what I was. You didn’t care and you’ve kept me. It offers me a life, the protection of these walls and a meal every day. I know how many do not get that. I’m not saying I want to be hurt, it’s just easier this way and some of it feels good. It is nice to be embraced. I like to be touched, by you, not badly, not like the one time, but the others, and I know sometimes, when it is unexpected, I jump. It's just that I never had that, nobody ever touched me or held me. It surprises me, and my body just does that stuff, I don’t want you to stop if I’m startled.”
“You mean nobody has hugged you since you grew up?”
“Never, not a touch, not since Mother sickened,” his voice was barely a whisper, “and you see me, when you look at me. I mean, when you don’t forget about me, you see me. Everybody here sees me and wants to look at me. Sometimes it's uncomfortable but mostly it's as if no-one notices that I am nude, just that I am here. Even the Princess Mackenzie, she actually looks at me. Does that sound vain? I like being seen. I don’t think anyone except Christian knew what I looked like. I was just the spare wheel, the stand-in but I was judged the Queen’s spoiled favorite, and nobody dared stare or know me.”
“Jared you don’t have to be a slave to want all that, to get that.”
“I’m not sure that is true, but it’s not all.” Jared bit down hard on the inside of his cheek and stared down at the floor. “I like it. The way it feels, not being left alone, not the cold floor, or being it, or the cuffs, well, sometimes I like the cuffs; when they let me do the things I want. I like that I only have one responsibility and the rest is taken from me. I want that one responsibility because when I get it right, it feels, I don’t know, it just gives me something warm, like I never had before. It’s the only responsibility I ever craved.”
Jensen reached his hand out to stroke the hair from his slave's eyes. “When you get what right?”
“Making you happy.”
Jensen pulled back and scrutinized him carefully. “You’re not lying.”
“No. Why would I do that? I cannot explain it. I know it makes no sense, it just,” Jared wrinkled his brow and fought for an explanation “It is what it is.” He felt a strong, warm arm around his waist and felt the pull to lean against Jensen’s shoulder and he melted into it.
“I don’t deserve you Jared. I do not know if I am capable of keeping anybody safe any more. I should send you away. There are nations who would shelter you at my request.” His voice was low and gravelly.
“You would not come with me. I have seen you, you think you have given up, but you will not. Mackenzie is right. You should not be considering me. It is my place to care for you, so you can find a way. That way we can all be safe. They can be safe,” Jared gestured to the scene below the window, where crowds were starting to gather.
Jensen rubbed circles on Jared’s back and watched the bustle below. “I try hard to be like Joshua and Mackenzie. I can do it for a while, pretend I fit in. Play the polite Prince at Court. In the end I always blow it. I never was cut out for this life. Maybe I never grew up, but I dislike formality and propriety, I keep it bottled until it explodes and spills over. Not generally violently, but dramatic words and gestures with Joshua and not a few with Ethan. I fall into myself and forget others. Ethan would make a far better Prince than me. It is a lot for a slave to put up with, especially one with more wisdom than I.”
Jared didn’t speak. He simply placed his hand on Jensen’s chest, feeling the rhythm of his heart. They sat in silence, watching the intricacies of everyday life unfold beyond the window.
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