another letter to god
Dear God:
I know the last time we corresponded, I got in some trouble for it (hi, Agent K, if you're still reading this! *g*), but I think this request will go over a little better.
Please, please, please kill Hurricane Rita.
I mean, come on. Come on. Have you seen the latest forecast track? That's just Not On. This storm is a monster, and even if it weakens to a Category 3 like the good people at the Weather Bureau say it might, then New Orleans is still Fucked. And God, dude, my man, it was already fucked to begin with. The northwest quadrant of that storm would send a storm surge right up into the Mississippi, and we all know that the city's entire levee system is seriously compromised from the breaches from Katrina. If this thing continues on its path, then we can expect to see that bowl that was only drained fucking yesterday fill up with water all over again.
I mean, what's your deal with New Orleans? It's a really great city, God. I mean, yeah, the government's all corrupt and shit, and if the fundamentalists are right, then you're probably not a big fan of all the girls flashing their titties on Bourbon Street, and there's, like, a WHOLE bunch of crime and stuff, but dude. DUDE. Seriously. It's more than that. It's an American treasure. It's full of old houses and history and a bawdy attitude and great, unique people. Frankly, New Orleans? ROCKS. So stop fucking it up, God!
I mean, first of all, according to George Bush, you personally appointed him to be president (well, you and the Supreme Court). And he fucked up the already fucked-up FEMA by putting it under Homeland Security and letting a guy who got fired from a pony job run it. And we all know how things went down from there. So why send another hurricane to them? Why???
And on the selfish side, dude, God, I was just getting over what happened in the Gulf Coast a couple of weeks ago. I was coping. I was cleaning and decorating and reading and dealing with my grief, and had JUST come back from a total nervous breakdown and NOW you want to send ANOTHER hurricane to Louisiana? Damn, dude. That's cold.
So please, God. Please kill Hurricane Rita. I don't care how you do it. Have a giant dragon rise up from the Gulf of Mexico and swallow it whole (and actually, that would look REALLY cool on CNN). I don't know. Just ... please, man. Don't do this AGAIN.
Love + Kisses,
anniesj
P.S. Also, I really, really hope that hurricanes don't have Secret Service agents protecting them. :)
I know the last time we corresponded, I got in some trouble for it (hi, Agent K, if you're still reading this! *g*), but I think this request will go over a little better.
Please, please, please kill Hurricane Rita.
I mean, come on. Come on. Have you seen the latest forecast track? That's just Not On. This storm is a monster, and even if it weakens to a Category 3 like the good people at the Weather Bureau say it might, then New Orleans is still Fucked. And God, dude, my man, it was already fucked to begin with. The northwest quadrant of that storm would send a storm surge right up into the Mississippi, and we all know that the city's entire levee system is seriously compromised from the breaches from Katrina. If this thing continues on its path, then we can expect to see that bowl that was only drained fucking yesterday fill up with water all over again.
I mean, what's your deal with New Orleans? It's a really great city, God. I mean, yeah, the government's all corrupt and shit, and if the fundamentalists are right, then you're probably not a big fan of all the girls flashing their titties on Bourbon Street, and there's, like, a WHOLE bunch of crime and stuff, but dude. DUDE. Seriously. It's more than that. It's an American treasure. It's full of old houses and history and a bawdy attitude and great, unique people. Frankly, New Orleans? ROCKS. So stop fucking it up, God!
I mean, first of all, according to George Bush, you personally appointed him to be president (well, you and the Supreme Court). And he fucked up the already fucked-up FEMA by putting it under Homeland Security and letting a guy who got fired from a pony job run it. And we all know how things went down from there. So why send another hurricane to them? Why???
And on the selfish side, dude, God, I was just getting over what happened in the Gulf Coast a couple of weeks ago. I was coping. I was cleaning and decorating and reading and dealing with my grief, and had JUST come back from a total nervous breakdown and NOW you want to send ANOTHER hurricane to Louisiana? Damn, dude. That's cold.
So please, God. Please kill Hurricane Rita. I don't care how you do it. Have a giant dragon rise up from the Gulf of Mexico and swallow it whole (and actually, that would look REALLY cool on CNN). I don't know. Just ... please, man. Don't do this AGAIN.
Love + Kisses,
anniesj
P.S. Also, I really, really hope that hurricanes don't have Secret Service agents protecting them. :)