LOL MY MOM'S A GAY COMEDIENNE

[anniebree]

MY MOM'S ALL CONFLICTED WHEN IT COMES TO ELLEN DEGENERES.  SHE LOVES THE ELLEN, SHE LOVES THE FUNNY, BUT LIKE HALF THE SOCCER MOMS IN AMERICA WHO LOVE THE ELLEN AND DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND WHY THEY LOVE THE DANCING ELLEN AS WELL, SHE DOESN'T LOVE THE GAY.  SHE IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE GAY.  SHE IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ENJOYING A PERSON WHO IS OF THE GAYS.  SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE EQUATED WITH SUCH A LADY.  BUT SHE ADORES THIS LADY.  SO CONFLICTED IS MY MOTHER.

ELLEN WAS ON LETTERMAN TONIGHT

DAVE:  WHAT'D YOU DO THIS SUMMER?
ELLEN:  I HAD A MAMMOGRAM AND I WENT TO A WEDDING.

ME:  HEYYYY!!!  THAT'S WHAT YOU DID THIS SUMMER TOOOOOOOOO!!
MOM:  ~ ~ U N C O M F O R T A B L E ~ ~
ME:  LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL YOU'RE ELLEN
MOM:  STOOOOOP.  NOOOOOO.