(no subject)
People are not logical at all. Relationships I mean. They just aren't. I'd give specific examples but I don't feel like it. So yeah. But like...there's not a tangible reason why certain people annoy me and certain people don't, even when they do the same things. And there's no reason that I can grasp as to why I crave the attention of some people and my energy and happiness thrives on like...one look from them or just them saying "hi" or something. Oy. Then I realize how empty those "hi's" and smiles are and how fake they really are. It's comforting, huh? Yeah. Same thing year after year. I search and strive to make new friends. Not just friends but FRIENDS. Good, trustworthy, can-talk-about-anything-to friends. Then I realize that they're not true friends. There's always some kind of...twist or something. Something happens....something gets in the way....we grow apart....etc. It's just strange how it all works out. Never do I really make NEW friends. I always come to the conclusion that: hey--the ones I have are the freaking awesome ones and they're the ones that I can actually trust. Hey, how about that! Yeah I guess the reason I yearn for more friendships is that...well to be honest probably like convenience factor lol. Most of the people that read this: aka Alyse, Emily, Hannah, Joanna, Sarah Min maybe.....I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! But you freaking live far away and/or are busy a lot lol. And I barely have any like really really good friends at school. Well of course there's Colby and I heart him SOO much. But people in my classes I guess I mean. And JANE! I love Jane lol I see her probably like half the day annnd she's one of my bestest friends at school. As soon as I got a chance to maybe do something with her outside of school lol she has a job so it's like oy she's always busy. Either that or she's at Young Life (religious like youth group thingy). And I don't want to do that I'm sorry I just don't because well >_> I'm not religious, all I know I believe in is God(s) of some sort. And I know they'd accept me there but I don't want to hear about the Bible and Jesus because I hear enough about it already. And Wyatt is cool too! He might read this I don't know. But yeah I get the feeling that he doesn't care for me too much either but oh well I guess. Riley and Mary are in my Spanish class. :) They're really cool and I love hanging out with them but like I said before relationships are not logical and for some reason I feel like......I'm not wanted or something when I'm around them. ACTUALLY it's not that I'm not wanted it's that like....I want to be around them more than they want to be around me so I feel like I'm troubling them lol. Oy I know I'm retarded and I'm sorry for that but maybe I just think a lot. There's nothing effing wrong with thinking a lot because there just effing isn't. I'm tired of Annie. Yes I'm talking in flipping third person. But I'm tired of how annoying and talkative and over-thinking I am--and at the same time how shy I am. Always at the wrong times. T_T WHAT A FLIPPING IDIOT!!! Yeah. Okay need to study. Bye.
I'M TIRED OF FEELIN SICK AND USELESS
THEN SPEAKIN EVERY OTHER WAY
GLUIN MY EYES TOGETHER
JUST MIGHT BE THE RIGHT MISTAKE.......
I'M TIRED OF FEELIN SICK AND USELESS
THEN SPEAKIN EVERY OTHER WAY
GLUIN MY EYES TOGETHER
JUST MIGHT BE THE RIGHT MISTAKE.......