Full Circle: Ch. 7
Title: Full Circle: All Comes Down to This
Author: annethundr05
Fandom: SM
Pairing: None for now
Rating: T (language)
Summary: No one said telling the truth was easy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing; I am just playing with SM & its character’s. They don’t belong to me. It’s all the property of the rich people, am taking out their sandbox and playing with them in mine.
A/N: Rating may go up at a later date. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews they keep me inspired to write so for that here’s a new chapter after such a long time. Wish it was more than filler once again but yeah this time I don’t want to cooperate with my muses (RL has me way too tired), don’t be too mad kay. Bits and pieces come from my other story The Letter. So without further ado XD
I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.”
Pietro Aretino
I left that park listless and tired. Life had somehow made me tired. I was completely bone-weary. And for the first time in a long time I was scared and uncertain. Like Minako, maybe not as much, but I had always felt better knowing that my future was slightly pre-ordained. I could live it knowing that the future in many ways was set. I didn’t have to be scared like those around me. I didn’t have to try so hard or worry about grades, marriage, or what kind of job I would pursue. It was easy, life was easy. I could be as dedicated to the pursuit of my happiness as I wished. And now suddenly I’ve let that safety net go and I find myself shaking. And even more than the uncertain future facing me, was the ever daunting phone call that I needed to make.
I couldn’t not make it. Minako had the courage to track me down and go against Usagi to find me. She’s in many ways given up her safety in their accepted friendship to pursue mine. I can at least do that for Mamoru.
For once I’m not sure if I’m as strong as the others assume me to be. They see what I want them too see, they’ve only looked as deep as I let them. And only three people have ever attempted to look deeper than that: Shinozaki, Minako, and Mamoru. At one time Usagi would have been counted among that number. And yet I guess like me, she too, was quite capable at hiding her own true face.
Jove save me, Juno give me the strength to do that which I find impossible.
I pick up the phone.
It rings, once. Twice. Three times.
“Hello.” A soft strong, voice calls from the other end.
“Koto-chan? Are you there?” Concern ringing across water, and miles.
“If you are answer me. What’s wrong? You’re scaring me.” Voice rising, panic, rising, fear and concern induced.
“I’m here.” Voice sounding far weaker than I wish it too be; scared, cautious ready to run at a moment’s notice. I guess I am all these things. I hate it.
“We need to talk.” Better, stronger, more like me. I don’t want to scare him anymore than I have already.
“What’s up? You okay?” Once again his concern radiates. That just makes me so mad at Usagi for everything she’s done. I could choke her, the violence calling to me like a siren’s song.
My mind wanders once again what to say right as my lips utter “I’m fine. How are you?” Small talk, idle chatter, inconsequential and meaningless.
“I’m good, but that’s not what you called me for. So spit it out.” His voice, calm, steady, the very definition of Earth. I guess that’s what drew me to him my own temperament bipolar is like a lighting storm. It strikes fast, hard, and scorches all the while at the same soothes like rain. At least that’s what Mamoru says. I just hope this doesn’t cause and earthquake.
“Koto-chan, Makoto-chan, MAKOTO!!!”
“Huh! What.” Startled I look at the phone in my hand and realieze once again what I was trying to do.
“I’m sorry I drifted off for a second.” I try to sound placating. I said I wasn’t going to cause him and duress and yet that seems to be all I’m doing. Shoring my strength the words rush out.
“Look just listen, don’t say anything just hear me out. I don’t think I can do this twice ok.” I take one long deep breath and …
“Everything has gone crazy. The situation has totally spiraled out of control. I don’t know what to do. I ready to cut my losses and say fuck it. Fuck her, fuck them, and fuck the whole damn thing. I’m a bitch; because I called it quits and I’m still friends with you. Usagi is mad at that, at me because I chose not to stand on the wayside while she hurt you and me. Did you know that after you left to go back to school she hooked up with Seiya. Did you know he and I were still together. He fed me a cock-and-bull story: she needed him, let him help her. She was hurt and sad and I didn’t need him enough. So I guess that made it ok. Know I don’t blame you I blame Usagi for being selfish and Seiya for being a coward. They didn’t tell me I found out the hard way which is why I’m telling you and instead of…
Anyway I thought he was off the Usaig train but they were screwing around behind both our backs. It wasn’t till I saw them doing everything short of fucking by an oak tree in the park one late night, did I see it. He couldn’t end it, wasn’t man enough to say it was over, either way it was over. I saw it, knew it, acknowledged it. And as much as I wanted to go over there and kick both their asses to hell and back, for you sake and mine; my body wouldn’t move. I just stood there watching and crying. Then I finally left the park and never once looked back. They gave me lame excuses well Seiya did Usagi... I don’t know who she is anymore but she’s not the girl who befriended me in Junior High. I could never hurt you like that, and thus telling you this sucks for me. Know I would never lie to you. Especially when you’re happiness is on the line. If I thought for a second that you would be better off not knowing I wouldn’t say a thing. But I can’t and I don’t, so I am. Just know that I love you okay.”
With mirthful laughter, “I guess misery does love company. But they also say payback is a bitch. But I’ve learned, for real, it’s the interest that’s a motherfucker. So with that bad news said, please don’t take this too hard. Please take care of yourself; I would hate to lose you.”
I don’t think I breathed once. And silence permeated the other end.
“Feel better?” He asked.
I was floored here I was telling him his girlfriend of many years had cheated on him and he’s comforting Me. This was so backwards.
“Glad you got that off your chest. But I’m aware of Usagi and Seiya.”
He went quiet like he was trying to decide how to explain it all. “Strange thing is Usagi called me not to long ago. She was raving mad mind you. But was quite adamant about not letting that green-eyed bitch threaten her, and she’d tell me herself. I was wondering what you had done to make her so angry. Needless to say I knew part of it as she went around the world about you leaving your duty and eventually told on herself when she said you had no right to be mad he picked the better woman and I should speak to you. So it corroborated with what my mind was telling me as she was never home. Never could answer a call or email.”
I was speechless he wasn’t mad, or angry. I beat myself up trying to figure out a way to tell him and he already knew. I wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or pissed at him.
I settled for both. “Say What?!!! I’ve been killing myself over this and you knew…”
“Like you I was trying to think of the best way to tell you I knew. But then I knew you’d eventually tell me if you knew and then I wasn’t sure if you knew. So I like you wasn’t sure what to do. I thought about calling you and then I thought it would be better face to face. And I’ve got vacation next week so I figured I’d do it when I came home for the summer.”
I was too lit, so I did the only thing I knew how to do when I’m that angry I hung up.
“Beep…”
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