Full Circle: Ch. 5
Title: Full Circle: I'm Doin' Me
Author: annethundr05
Fandom: SM
Pairing: None for now
Rating: T
Summary: No one said telling the truth was easy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing; I am just playing with SM & its character’s. Nor do I own the song “I’m Doin’ Me” by Fantasia. They don’t belong to me. It’s all the property of the rich people, am taking out their sandbox and playing with them in mine.
A/N: Rating may go up at a later date.Thanks for all the wonderful reviews they keep me inspired to write so for that here’s a new chapter. Consider it my X-mas gift to all of you. And those who don’t celebrate well it’ a present then.
"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."
~ Hermann Hesse
So once again I left you hanging on my words and the edge of your seat huh? Well I guess in that case since I did stop so abruptly I’ll skip the prologue and jump right in…
~~~~~Flashback~~~~
Turning to look Rei straight in the eye, Makoto adjusted her posture once more so she was sitting straight up; all the while taking in the resigned, distressed, confused, and ambivalent expressions of each fellow inner senshi.
“You all wonder why I keep saying that and why Usagi won't say anything. Why Seiya changes the subject. Why the outers send you back to her. Why when all is said and done no one will give a straight answer.”
Gaining renewed confidence with each word she moved forward. Eyes growing as cold as the words she spoke.
“I’ll tell you why. It’s because your leader, our Princess is a flawed individual wrapped in a veneer of perfection. She is someone who can have so much heart for the enemy and yet as stands, cares very little for those who have stood by her side.
“Mako-chan how can you say that!” Gasps ran the gamut of the room except, for Minako who merely hazard a glance in Usagi’s direction.
She was rewarded with a embarrassed and yet thoughtful expression. It seemed Makoto finally made an impact on their very passive and ambivalent leader.
“I can because it’s true. I’ve never lied to any of you and I don’t intend to start now.” Looking from Rei to Usagi, and back again she began directly.
“You want to know what happened, here it is, Usagi and Seiya are together. I could say she stole him but that implies he’s property. And he’s not. I wish I could blame it on gravitation but that implies there’s no alternative, and there was. So we’ll say they were selfish individuals lacking morality. They got close, according to Seiya, as Usagi-san needed a friend, and Seiya was more than happy to oblige. We all remember the weeks following Mamo-kuns return to school. I guess misery loves company because it wasn’t till I saw them doing everything short of fucking in the park that it hit me. All the times Seiya had to leave because a good friend was in trouble. It was important that he be there, he wasn't sure what they would fo if left alone made sense. So I don’t know what’s worse his lying and pretending or her being my friend and sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back. Either way it’s over. I know it, acknowledge it, and accept it.
Despite her honesty Mako-chan was awarded with what she expected, various outcries of rage.
“That’s no reason to leave! You being very immature. She’s still you’re princess.”
“Maybe if Mamoru would have stayed then she wouldn’t have glanced at Seiya.”
Surprisingly Ami was as up in arms as Rei. Face flushed and aggravation painting her delicate features. Rei was no less upset. Minako had yet to say a word.
Makoto merely ignored they’re cries of rage and turned to Usagi, who it seemed was okay with letting her senshi fight her battles.
“Why? You have everything. You have a family who may sometimes push you too hard, but they love you. You had a boyfriend who would take on the world for you. You have friends who would fight till the end for you. You have a bright well-known future ahead of you. So tell me why?” Her calm visage, cracking minutely with the slightest quiver of her voice.
“You who can seem to do no wrong, did me wrong. You offered Seiya something that I could never do. You offered him you. And you knew he loved you. I could deal with not being the first in his heart. I was more than content to just have a place there. And yet rather than stay true to the one, who above all others, loves you. You went after Seiya. So tell me why Usagi, why should I stay when I can’t stand you. When I can’t trust you. When I don’t believe in you. Tell me why should I follow you? Answer me!”
If there was ever a time when Usgai, who was not known for her courage, but her great heart, should have answered it was then. And yet Makoto was met with silence. Turning back to the inners, who faces showed various levels of anger and concern could only stare.
“And now you all know. Sp therefore I’m moving on. I’m doing me now. I’ve given more that I should to people who didn’t treat me well. I gave my heart, my time, did all that I could in every way to help. But my eyes are open now and I’ve come to realize that I don’t need any other. And I know exactly what I deserve. So I’m doin me, this time around. I don’t need you now. I’d rather be by myself. This entire situation has made me realize that. So I won’t let your drama hold me down. I’ve finally found I’d rather be by myself, I’m doin’ me. I won’t spend another minute wasting my time here. So I’m being selfish and putting myself in first place. If you wish to see me you know where I am. If you have a problem with anything I’ve said tonight then go a ahead a speak. It won’t change anything though.
Finally after much quiet non-verbal deliberation, 0ut of nowhere Usagi’s voice rang out for the first time in ages.
“You’re doing you? Hah! You can’t do you, you are my senshi. Your job is to protect me. You can’t leave if I tell you to stay.” Unhappiness and spite lacing each word, and painting her features much the same way.
“No one wants to deal with you. You’re clingy. You’re pushy. You’re existence is quiet pathetic. Seiya always mentioned how he couldn’t wait to get away from you. Was all too happy to run into my arms. Because he didn’t have to feel sorry for being happy when he’s with me. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try you’ll always be a super strong tom-boy, karate maniac, that no-one would want to date. I mean who would, you’re always the first to barge into battle with no thought and then you die. It’s just too much pressure to be friends with you much less fall in love.”
Each word was laced with malice and meant to cut. And yet for some odd reason they didn’t. Makoto's eyes blazed with fighting spirit, and like many times before she rose to the verbal challenge.
“Better to be a super-strong tom-boy with a death wish, than a whiny little bitch that needs to be saved all the time. When it comes down to levels of pathetic you beat me by a mile. I may get hurt, but at least I can defend myself. I may even die but at least I know I fought back. It doesn’t take seeing all of my friends fall before me to get up the nerve to act. No you tell me who’s pathetic. Without the ginzuishou you’re less than nothing, you’re harmless and you know it.”
“How dare you! I can strip you, you know! I can take everything! Your title, your powers! Don’t test me. I’m in charge here.” With a backbone tempered by rage Usagi stands up.
Once more meeting her head on Makoto does the same.
“I’d like to see you try. You may be the princess of the Silver Millennium, but you’re no Queen of Earth. Need I remind you that you need Mamoru for that. And who’s to say he even still wants you. Do you honestly think I’d let my best friend honor a whore that way. As for my title, I am a princess just like you. I was a princess long before you and I will be a princess long after you. My powers are my own, as is my rank, so your threats mean nothing to me.”
~~~~Flashback end~~~~
And with that I gave a slight bow, that she did not deserve, and I left it all behind.
Read & Review
Author: annethundr05
Fandom: SM
Pairing: None for now
Rating: T
Summary: No one said telling the truth was easy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing; I am just playing with SM & its character’s. Nor do I own the song “I’m Doin’ Me” by Fantasia. They don’t belong to me. It’s all the property of the rich people, am taking out their sandbox and playing with them in mine.
A/N: Rating may go up at a later date.Thanks for all the wonderful reviews they keep me inspired to write so for that here’s a new chapter. Consider it my X-mas gift to all of you. And those who don’t celebrate well it’ a present then.
"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."
~ Hermann Hesse
So once again I left you hanging on my words and the edge of your seat huh? Well I guess in that case since I did stop so abruptly I’ll skip the prologue and jump right in…
~~~~~Flashback~~~~
Turning to look Rei straight in the eye, Makoto adjusted her posture once more so she was sitting straight up; all the while taking in the resigned, distressed, confused, and ambivalent expressions of each fellow inner senshi.
“You all wonder why I keep saying that and why Usagi won't say anything. Why Seiya changes the subject. Why the outers send you back to her. Why when all is said and done no one will give a straight answer.”
Gaining renewed confidence with each word she moved forward. Eyes growing as cold as the words she spoke.
“I’ll tell you why. It’s because your leader, our Princess is a flawed individual wrapped in a veneer of perfection. She is someone who can have so much heart for the enemy and yet as stands, cares very little for those who have stood by her side.
“Mako-chan how can you say that!” Gasps ran the gamut of the room except, for Minako who merely hazard a glance in Usagi’s direction.
She was rewarded with a embarrassed and yet thoughtful expression. It seemed Makoto finally made an impact on their very passive and ambivalent leader.
“I can because it’s true. I’ve never lied to any of you and I don’t intend to start now.” Looking from Rei to Usagi, and back again she began directly.
“You want to know what happened, here it is, Usagi and Seiya are together. I could say she stole him but that implies he’s property. And he’s not. I wish I could blame it on gravitation but that implies there’s no alternative, and there was. So we’ll say they were selfish individuals lacking morality. They got close, according to Seiya, as Usagi-san needed a friend, and Seiya was more than happy to oblige. We all remember the weeks following Mamo-kuns return to school. I guess misery loves company because it wasn’t till I saw them doing everything short of fucking in the park that it hit me. All the times Seiya had to leave because a good friend was in trouble. It was important that he be there, he wasn't sure what they would fo if left alone made sense. So I don’t know what’s worse his lying and pretending or her being my friend and sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back. Either way it’s over. I know it, acknowledge it, and accept it.
Despite her honesty Mako-chan was awarded with what she expected, various outcries of rage.
“That’s no reason to leave! You being very immature. She’s still you’re princess.”
“Maybe if Mamoru would have stayed then she wouldn’t have glanced at Seiya.”
Surprisingly Ami was as up in arms as Rei. Face flushed and aggravation painting her delicate features. Rei was no less upset. Minako had yet to say a word.
Makoto merely ignored they’re cries of rage and turned to Usagi, who it seemed was okay with letting her senshi fight her battles.
“Why? You have everything. You have a family who may sometimes push you too hard, but they love you. You had a boyfriend who would take on the world for you. You have friends who would fight till the end for you. You have a bright well-known future ahead of you. So tell me why?” Her calm visage, cracking minutely with the slightest quiver of her voice.
“You who can seem to do no wrong, did me wrong. You offered Seiya something that I could never do. You offered him you. And you knew he loved you. I could deal with not being the first in his heart. I was more than content to just have a place there. And yet rather than stay true to the one, who above all others, loves you. You went after Seiya. So tell me why Usagi, why should I stay when I can’t stand you. When I can’t trust you. When I don’t believe in you. Tell me why should I follow you? Answer me!”
If there was ever a time when Usgai, who was not known for her courage, but her great heart, should have answered it was then. And yet Makoto was met with silence. Turning back to the inners, who faces showed various levels of anger and concern could only stare.
“And now you all know. Sp therefore I’m moving on. I’m doing me now. I’ve given more that I should to people who didn’t treat me well. I gave my heart, my time, did all that I could in every way to help. But my eyes are open now and I’ve come to realize that I don’t need any other. And I know exactly what I deserve. So I’m doin me, this time around. I don’t need you now. I’d rather be by myself. This entire situation has made me realize that. So I won’t let your drama hold me down. I’ve finally found I’d rather be by myself, I’m doin’ me. I won’t spend another minute wasting my time here. So I’m being selfish and putting myself in first place. If you wish to see me you know where I am. If you have a problem with anything I’ve said tonight then go a ahead a speak. It won’t change anything though.
Finally after much quiet non-verbal deliberation, 0ut of nowhere Usagi’s voice rang out for the first time in ages.
“You’re doing you? Hah! You can’t do you, you are my senshi. Your job is to protect me. You can’t leave if I tell you to stay.” Unhappiness and spite lacing each word, and painting her features much the same way.
“No one wants to deal with you. You’re clingy. You’re pushy. You’re existence is quiet pathetic. Seiya always mentioned how he couldn’t wait to get away from you. Was all too happy to run into my arms. Because he didn’t have to feel sorry for being happy when he’s with me. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try you’ll always be a super strong tom-boy, karate maniac, that no-one would want to date. I mean who would, you’re always the first to barge into battle with no thought and then you die. It’s just too much pressure to be friends with you much less fall in love.”
Each word was laced with malice and meant to cut. And yet for some odd reason they didn’t. Makoto's eyes blazed with fighting spirit, and like many times before she rose to the verbal challenge.
“Better to be a super-strong tom-boy with a death wish, than a whiny little bitch that needs to be saved all the time. When it comes down to levels of pathetic you beat me by a mile. I may get hurt, but at least I can defend myself. I may even die but at least I know I fought back. It doesn’t take seeing all of my friends fall before me to get up the nerve to act. No you tell me who’s pathetic. Without the ginzuishou you’re less than nothing, you’re harmless and you know it.”
“How dare you! I can strip you, you know! I can take everything! Your title, your powers! Don’t test me. I’m in charge here.” With a backbone tempered by rage Usagi stands up.
Once more meeting her head on Makoto does the same.
“I’d like to see you try. You may be the princess of the Silver Millennium, but you’re no Queen of Earth. Need I remind you that you need Mamoru for that. And who’s to say he even still wants you. Do you honestly think I’d let my best friend honor a whore that way. As for my title, I am a princess just like you. I was a princess long before you and I will be a princess long after you. My powers are my own, as is my rank, so your threats mean nothing to me.”
~~~~Flashback end~~~~
And with that I gave a slight bow, that she did not deserve, and I left it all behind.
Read & Review