(no subject)
I realized the other day that I'm feeling really overwhelmed by everything on my mind lately. I'm feeling stuck in all the processing I've been doing about my current life, my future life, my relationship with Dan, my relationship my mother. I feel like I'm having one conversation and moving on to the next before really taking in the first. Realizing that I want to have kids by the age of 32 (5 years) is throwing off everything I've been focusing on for my near future. Everytime Dan and I talk about this we flesh is out more and having children feels more feasible but rethinking plans and refocusing energies is hard. I feel like I need to tackle one thing at a time instead of just piling on shit to deal with. What's frustrating is that feeling like this makes it really hard for me to be receptive to Dan. We really struggle to communicate consistently and he's really making an effort to stay connected right now but I feel too distracted and stuck right now to have those conversations. We keep not talking about all this too-it's never the right time. My district manager gave me a small wooden token yesterday that says "tuit" on the front and something about how we never have the time to do shit we have to make the time. The "tuit" referred to saying "I'll get around to it." The token is round, it says "tuit," "I'll get aroundtuit." That's pretty bad, huh?