(no subject)
I was thinking tonight that I know too many survivors of sexual abuse. I think lots of people know them and don't know it. I know...six survivors of rape and sexual abuse. It's shocking how fucking common it is and no one knows or talks about it. No one talks about how much of that abuse is incest. Half of the people I know who were sexually abused were abused by family members. It's almost easy to forget about as someone who wasn't sexually abused-the problem is so absent public discourse it's like it doesn't happen.
Dan lost his job last week. It's not surprising at all. We've known that Eva would want a new aid for a while now but it was still surprising. They love him so at least it's not about any work performance issues or anything like that but it's still kinda stressful for him not to have a job. I'm really trying not to worry and obsess but it's on my mind a lot. He seems to have his sights set on his ideal job and my gut is all, "what?! Apply for anything!" It's totally fine that he be picky right now but I'm still nervous. Finding new work has also promped hella conversation around the future. I've been giving a lot of thought again to school, marriage, moving. While him finding new work should be unsettling ("should" be as in I expected it to be) I'm feeling pretty calm while also nervous. All the talking and sorting things out has made me feel more settled in our relationship and lives and is forcing us to look at the future differently-and all that has felt really good.
Work is back to being mostly good while also being a little overwhelming. I continue to ignore my boundaries and work more than I want to. I also mildly obsess over having money and am very willing to work overtime when I would really rather go home. I'm learning a lot and it somehow makes the stressful stuff more bearable. It's nice to feel challenged in a place that is pretty repetitive. Part of me sees myself at the Buck for a while (though not in a store...I can't handle this kind of customer service for much longer) and the other part of me wants to get out of there ASAP. I don't know yet and with Dan going back to school the decision is kind of made up for me.
A customer came in the store tonight who said he hadn't watched TV in six years. He said he read the news on the computer/read papers occasionally. WTF? I understand not getting sucked into TV watching and the internet but to just NOT know what's going on is not okay.
I saw Little Miss Sunshine twice. It's awesome and I highly recommend it.
I'm going to get in bed and play Dr. Mario on an old ass Gameboy. It's as awesome as I remembered it being!
Dan lost his job last week. It's not surprising at all. We've known that Eva would want a new aid for a while now but it was still surprising. They love him so at least it's not about any work performance issues or anything like that but it's still kinda stressful for him not to have a job. I'm really trying not to worry and obsess but it's on my mind a lot. He seems to have his sights set on his ideal job and my gut is all, "what?! Apply for anything!" It's totally fine that he be picky right now but I'm still nervous. Finding new work has also promped hella conversation around the future. I've been giving a lot of thought again to school, marriage, moving. While him finding new work should be unsettling ("should" be as in I expected it to be) I'm feeling pretty calm while also nervous. All the talking and sorting things out has made me feel more settled in our relationship and lives and is forcing us to look at the future differently-and all that has felt really good.
Work is back to being mostly good while also being a little overwhelming. I continue to ignore my boundaries and work more than I want to. I also mildly obsess over having money and am very willing to work overtime when I would really rather go home. I'm learning a lot and it somehow makes the stressful stuff more bearable. It's nice to feel challenged in a place that is pretty repetitive. Part of me sees myself at the Buck for a while (though not in a store...I can't handle this kind of customer service for much longer) and the other part of me wants to get out of there ASAP. I don't know yet and with Dan going back to school the decision is kind of made up for me.
A customer came in the store tonight who said he hadn't watched TV in six years. He said he read the news on the computer/read papers occasionally. WTF? I understand not getting sucked into TV watching and the internet but to just NOT know what's going on is not okay.
I saw Little Miss Sunshine twice. It's awesome and I highly recommend it.
I'm going to get in bed and play Dr. Mario on an old ass Gameboy. It's as awesome as I remembered it being!