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More String Theory: An AU Series
Dr. Samantha Carter joins the SGC and discovers a life she never expected.
Action/Adventure, Drama, Angst, Romance, S/J
Teen: minor language and violence
Ficlet 24: Say It Right
He’s been off world for almost eleven days, an extended diplomatic stay because some important chief had insisted on dealing only with Daniel. Something about the honesty of the man’s face.
Sometimes Jack wishes Daniel weren’t quite so good at his job.
Jack’s feet hit the grate with a weary clang, welcomed back to the dim interior by Hammond’s traditional greeting.
Unexpectedly, Sam isn’t there to greet them. She’s never in the actual gate room, nothing so obvious, but she makes a habit of being somewhere between the gate and the locker room when he’s scheduled to return. He didn’t realize how much he appreciated it until she suddenly isn’t there.
The briefing seems indeterminably long, though he can’t be sure if that is because of Daniel’s moment by moment retelling of the diplomatic process or because of the weird looks he keeps getting from Hammond.
Having finally fallen into a briefing coma, Jack almost jerks out of his chair when Hammond stands. “SG-1 you are on downtime until Thursday.”
The team scatters with impressive efficiency, proving that Jack is not the only one to have exhausted his need for team togetherness. Eleven days is a long time to be cloistered with anyone, close friends or not. Even Teal’c’s serenity had worn a little thin by the end.
But luckily that is now all of the past and Jack has way more important things on his mind, such as the still absent Sam. Like he said, eleven days is a long time. He heads straight for her office, assuming she is still knee deep in reactor schematics trying to pick out exactly how many different ways the Goa’uld spy sabotaged them. As he recalls, she had been too pissed at the gall of the spy to even be relieved that the flaws were not been of her making. He hopes that at the very least this means her obsession with karma may have faded.
Pencils everywhere must be giving thanks.
As expected, he does find Sam in her office, just up to her elbows in a huge gray crate rather than reports. She’s so completely absorbed that she doesn’t even hear him enter.
“Rack up another success for SG-1,” Jack says by way of greeting.
Sam jerks upright, a hand flying to her chest. “Jack. You frightened me.”
He shrugs apologetically. “I thought you’d want to know that thanks to Daniel, you now have more than enough naquadah to run a lifetime of experiments.”
“Good to hear,” she says distractedly, her eyes already back on the objects at her feet.
Jack raises an eyebrow at the blasé answer, not to mention his rather lukewarm reception. Eleven days! Stepping around yet another crate in the dangerously crowded room, Jack moves over to lean against her desk. “Any word on when construction on your lab might finish up?”
Sam shakes her head. “It’s been decided that the naquadah reactor project is too dangerous to continue working on here. That and some other things we’ve been developing.”
Jack’s not too surprised. They’ve recently implemented mandatory MRI scans to rule out future infiltrations, but the threat is still very real and Earth seems very fragile these days.
“They’re being moved to the Beta Site,” Sam continues. “Hammond offered me Head of Research and Development there. A new lab and I get to choose my own team.”
It’s only then that Jack’s sluggish brain registers the fact that she is packing.
“I told Hammond I would take it,” she says, her back still to him.
Jack nods despite the fact that she can’t see him. Beyond the rather overwhelming sensation of having been blindsided, he also dimly registers that moving to another planet is the sort of life altering thing couples usually discuss together. You know, before the packing starts.
“Not that I could really say no,” Sam continues, the words tumbling together as if she’s trying to get them out in a rush. Or as if she’s practiced them. “We all know it’s only a matter of time until Apophis makes a serious run against Earth. This research is vital if we want to survive.”
She’s right; it’s just weird to hear those words coming from her, like she’s been spending too much time reading tactical reports. “Did you want to say no?” Jack finally says, finding his voice.
“It’s a huge step up for my career,” she says. He’s not sure that actually answers his question.
She looks haggard, Jack realizes. Far too skinny, more like the pale ghost she had been when she first arrived years ago. He tries not to think too hard about what might have done this to her again, too scared that it might be him.
He remembers her being so full of life.
“We should be able to work something out,” Jack offers, still a little dazed but trying to be supportive. “Hammond will let me take my downtime off world.”
Sam sets down a book with an audible thump and leans heavily on the table, both hands spread wide across the surface. “I just…I really need some space right now.”
She turns around then to stare at him and Jack’s beginning to feel inexplicably stupid for his offer. She’s having a hard time holding his gaze and that’s what finally slides the last puzzle piece into place. She’s not just leaving Earth.
She’s leaving him.
“I see,” Jack finally says, taking a step back. “This isn’t just a change of location then.”
He watches her fingers curl into determined fists. “The Goa’uld are coming. Everything has to center around that. My work-.”
“Don’t,” Jack says, raising his hand. He can’t stand to hear her blame their jobs for this. They deserve so much more than that suffocating patina of altruism.
Sam turns away again; flitting around the room making piles of objects whose logic is way beyond him. Against his better judgment, Jack reaches out and grabs her arm, pulling her close, forcing her into stillness. Her eyes dart nervously towards the nearest surveillance camera and he realizes with growing anger that she’s handpicked her office for this particular scene to avoid too much drama. He wonders how many times she’s run through this conversation to work out all the variables.
A thousand biting responses rise on his tongue and the instinct to lash out is almost irresistible. Is that what she expected? But he shoves that all away in a desperate bid to understand what exactly has just happened.
“Why are you doing this?”
The earnestness of his tone seems to throw Sam for a moment and her face betrays mounting panic before it wipes clean like a curtain falling. It’s chilling to see and so unlike the Sam he thought he knew.
“We both knew what this was,” she says then, her voice light and cavalier and it makes Jack’s gut burn. She’s already talking about them in the past tense.
“And what’s that?”
Something dangerous must have leaked into Jack’s voice unintentionally because she stills abruptly. But then she straightens her shoulders, squarely meets his eyes and unapologetically announces, “A pleasant way to pass the time.”
Coldness doesn’t suit her, Jack thinks as her words impact him almost physically. “That’s all, huh?” he says, fury turning his words calm and excruciatingly even.
“Yes,” she replies, not even blinking.
For one second he feels pole-axed, but then he recovers, nodding once in understanding. It’s not like they ever promised each other anything. Right?
“Okay then,” he says, his voice tight. He forces himself to drop her arm and step away. If she wants space, he can give that to her. He imagines half a galaxy should be enough.
He’s almost out the door when she speaks.
“I was never going to be what you needed anyway,” she says so softly he’s not sure he was supposed to hear it. He’s almost convinced there’s a twinge of guilt in her voice, but by the time he turns around again she is glacial, all hard edges and unapologetic honesty.
“I don’t even know what that means,” he says, frustration giving way to complete exhaustion.
It’s possible he only imagines that her smile is sad. “I know,” is all she says before returning to her packing.
Jack recognizes a dismissal when he sees one. For a moment he considers grabbing her again, wrenching her around and demanding to know just what the hell this is all about, but standing there watching her, he remembers the feel of Kellar’s blood on his hands and the sting of smoke in his eyes as he ran through endless hallways.
He turns and walks out.
* * *
A week later Jack watches Sam step up the event horizon, her fingers dancing carefully over the surface and all he can think is that it should be him. He should be the one to take her through the gate for the first time. He should be the one to stand by her side and watch her expression as it filled with awe and she babbled about the feel of physics. He should be there to give in to the perverse desire to push her through. He can almost hear her indignant squeal as he did so.
It should be him.
But then she steps through without him and disappears.
next
Dr. Samantha Carter joins the SGC and discovers a life she never expected.
Action/Adventure, Drama, Angst, Romance, S/J
Teen: minor language and violence
Ficlet 24: Say It Right
He’s been off world for almost eleven days, an extended diplomatic stay because some important chief had insisted on dealing only with Daniel. Something about the honesty of the man’s face.
Sometimes Jack wishes Daniel weren’t quite so good at his job.
Jack’s feet hit the grate with a weary clang, welcomed back to the dim interior by Hammond’s traditional greeting.
Unexpectedly, Sam isn’t there to greet them. She’s never in the actual gate room, nothing so obvious, but she makes a habit of being somewhere between the gate and the locker room when he’s scheduled to return. He didn’t realize how much he appreciated it until she suddenly isn’t there.
The briefing seems indeterminably long, though he can’t be sure if that is because of Daniel’s moment by moment retelling of the diplomatic process or because of the weird looks he keeps getting from Hammond.
Having finally fallen into a briefing coma, Jack almost jerks out of his chair when Hammond stands. “SG-1 you are on downtime until Thursday.”
The team scatters with impressive efficiency, proving that Jack is not the only one to have exhausted his need for team togetherness. Eleven days is a long time to be cloistered with anyone, close friends or not. Even Teal’c’s serenity had worn a little thin by the end.
But luckily that is now all of the past and Jack has way more important things on his mind, such as the still absent Sam. Like he said, eleven days is a long time. He heads straight for her office, assuming she is still knee deep in reactor schematics trying to pick out exactly how many different ways the Goa’uld spy sabotaged them. As he recalls, she had been too pissed at the gall of the spy to even be relieved that the flaws were not been of her making. He hopes that at the very least this means her obsession with karma may have faded.
Pencils everywhere must be giving thanks.
As expected, he does find Sam in her office, just up to her elbows in a huge gray crate rather than reports. She’s so completely absorbed that she doesn’t even hear him enter.
“Rack up another success for SG-1,” Jack says by way of greeting.
Sam jerks upright, a hand flying to her chest. “Jack. You frightened me.”
He shrugs apologetically. “I thought you’d want to know that thanks to Daniel, you now have more than enough naquadah to run a lifetime of experiments.”
“Good to hear,” she says distractedly, her eyes already back on the objects at her feet.
Jack raises an eyebrow at the blasé answer, not to mention his rather lukewarm reception. Eleven days! Stepping around yet another crate in the dangerously crowded room, Jack moves over to lean against her desk. “Any word on when construction on your lab might finish up?”
Sam shakes her head. “It’s been decided that the naquadah reactor project is too dangerous to continue working on here. That and some other things we’ve been developing.”
Jack’s not too surprised. They’ve recently implemented mandatory MRI scans to rule out future infiltrations, but the threat is still very real and Earth seems very fragile these days.
“They’re being moved to the Beta Site,” Sam continues. “Hammond offered me Head of Research and Development there. A new lab and I get to choose my own team.”
It’s only then that Jack’s sluggish brain registers the fact that she is packing.
“I told Hammond I would take it,” she says, her back still to him.
Jack nods despite the fact that she can’t see him. Beyond the rather overwhelming sensation of having been blindsided, he also dimly registers that moving to another planet is the sort of life altering thing couples usually discuss together. You know, before the packing starts.
“Not that I could really say no,” Sam continues, the words tumbling together as if she’s trying to get them out in a rush. Or as if she’s practiced them. “We all know it’s only a matter of time until Apophis makes a serious run against Earth. This research is vital if we want to survive.”
She’s right; it’s just weird to hear those words coming from her, like she’s been spending too much time reading tactical reports. “Did you want to say no?” Jack finally says, finding his voice.
“It’s a huge step up for my career,” she says. He’s not sure that actually answers his question.
She looks haggard, Jack realizes. Far too skinny, more like the pale ghost she had been when she first arrived years ago. He tries not to think too hard about what might have done this to her again, too scared that it might be him.
He remembers her being so full of life.
“We should be able to work something out,” Jack offers, still a little dazed but trying to be supportive. “Hammond will let me take my downtime off world.”
Sam sets down a book with an audible thump and leans heavily on the table, both hands spread wide across the surface. “I just…I really need some space right now.”
She turns around then to stare at him and Jack’s beginning to feel inexplicably stupid for his offer. She’s having a hard time holding his gaze and that’s what finally slides the last puzzle piece into place. She’s not just leaving Earth.
She’s leaving him.
“I see,” Jack finally says, taking a step back. “This isn’t just a change of location then.”
He watches her fingers curl into determined fists. “The Goa’uld are coming. Everything has to center around that. My work-.”
“Don’t,” Jack says, raising his hand. He can’t stand to hear her blame their jobs for this. They deserve so much more than that suffocating patina of altruism.
Sam turns away again; flitting around the room making piles of objects whose logic is way beyond him. Against his better judgment, Jack reaches out and grabs her arm, pulling her close, forcing her into stillness. Her eyes dart nervously towards the nearest surveillance camera and he realizes with growing anger that she’s handpicked her office for this particular scene to avoid too much drama. He wonders how many times she’s run through this conversation to work out all the variables.
A thousand biting responses rise on his tongue and the instinct to lash out is almost irresistible. Is that what she expected? But he shoves that all away in a desperate bid to understand what exactly has just happened.
“Why are you doing this?”
The earnestness of his tone seems to throw Sam for a moment and her face betrays mounting panic before it wipes clean like a curtain falling. It’s chilling to see and so unlike the Sam he thought he knew.
“We both knew what this was,” she says then, her voice light and cavalier and it makes Jack’s gut burn. She’s already talking about them in the past tense.
“And what’s that?”
Something dangerous must have leaked into Jack’s voice unintentionally because she stills abruptly. But then she straightens her shoulders, squarely meets his eyes and unapologetically announces, “A pleasant way to pass the time.”
Coldness doesn’t suit her, Jack thinks as her words impact him almost physically. “That’s all, huh?” he says, fury turning his words calm and excruciatingly even.
“Yes,” she replies, not even blinking.
For one second he feels pole-axed, but then he recovers, nodding once in understanding. It’s not like they ever promised each other anything. Right?
“Okay then,” he says, his voice tight. He forces himself to drop her arm and step away. If she wants space, he can give that to her. He imagines half a galaxy should be enough.
He’s almost out the door when she speaks.
“I was never going to be what you needed anyway,” she says so softly he’s not sure he was supposed to hear it. He’s almost convinced there’s a twinge of guilt in her voice, but by the time he turns around again she is glacial, all hard edges and unapologetic honesty.
“I don’t even know what that means,” he says, frustration giving way to complete exhaustion.
It’s possible he only imagines that her smile is sad. “I know,” is all she says before returning to her packing.
Jack recognizes a dismissal when he sees one. For a moment he considers grabbing her again, wrenching her around and demanding to know just what the hell this is all about, but standing there watching her, he remembers the feel of Kellar’s blood on his hands and the sting of smoke in his eyes as he ran through endless hallways.
He turns and walks out.
* * *
A week later Jack watches Sam step up the event horizon, her fingers dancing carefully over the surface and all he can think is that it should be him. He should be the one to take her through the gate for the first time. He should be the one to stand by her side and watch her expression as it filled with awe and she babbled about the feel of physics. He should be there to give in to the perverse desire to push her through. He can almost hear her indignant squeal as he did so.
It should be him.
But then she steps through without him and disappears.
next